Lonely

Been finding myself getting down again. I try to be as happy as I can but its so hard. I feel so lonely I have very few people in my life anymore and the people that are here offer very little support. I feel like if I had cancer everyone would care but because I have this invisible disease and I look fine i'm on my own no-one even ask how im feeling anymore but I guess thats a good thing since they don't care anyway. I try to still do things and be as active as I can but its so hard i'm always in pain and end up having to go home and go to bed, I feel like life is passing me by. I used to do hair had a very big clientel and lots of "friends" but I have nothing to offer anyone anymore. I've been this way since 09 you would think by now i'd be used to it but it still hurts I miss my old life😔 and sadly I miss my "fake friends"

13 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hiya Nette9 sorry your going through all this. I understand. Fibro is a very lonely illness and we seem to loose friends when we are no longer usefull or able to meet up.... if you can manage to get out there are loads of groups you can join and meet up with people who understand what you are going through. I was in a bad place ealier on this year and I hardly had anyone. Luckily having my phone and finding this group helped me come out the other side. You must message us more about how you feel and let it out. We are here to support you. You may think ' I don't want to go out a meet strangers' but after the first time you will be glad you did. Plus you have a lot of friends here who want to help you xx

  • this site has been my life line I have had many ups and downs in my life but this battle is the hardest I have always valued my solitude I don't do friends as such I have never needed to but loneliness' is something different and the fear of these horrendous conditions are heard to cope with but no one knows whats around the corner you will find good people and support now

  • Thank you for responding! I always get on these sites but never post I thought it was time to talk to people who really understand! I'm in the US I did'nt pay attention that this was a Uk site until after I posted lol I lucked up on this site and liked the support so I decided to join I hope its ok. Won't be able to physically join any groups but i'm happy to be apart of this especially withthe responses i'm getting! So relieved to have people I can relate to😁

  • You don't need fake friends you need real friends - I moved to a new area 3 years ago - I knew no one - but knew even though fibromyalgia gets in my way - good day, bad day - I was so lonely - I had to push myself to go out - I joined the sports centre - went swim alone, went aqua alone, for about 4 months - use to go and then sit alone in Waitrose café! - then a woman from aqua said "can I sit with you" - then over the months another and another and now there are 8 of us - I have just organised a Christmas meal for us all - it took me a while but it can be done - they all know I have fibromyalgia and I can't always be there but some of them have health issues too - and the best thing is - I am getting fitter through aqua. - come on girl life won't come to you - you have to go out and find it- good luck - Neese. X

  • Thanks alot! Everyone says swimming is great I just have to get there lol i'm very social iv'e just cut myself off I find it easier to avoid the disappointment that comes with not being able to do what your friends are doing but its also ok to meet new ones that you have more in commen with now. Thanks for the encouraging words!

  • You can do it. !!! 😊. x

  • So sorry to read your post and can fully understand what you are saying. After a while people seem to drift away even those you have known most of your life as you cannot longer do the things they do. My two close friends both have health problems so now we rarely see one another and when we do all they want to talk about is the problems however much I try to steer the subject away from it I would just love to talk about something other than health even for half an hour. They have extended families that they go to and have breaks and don't perhaps realise that when I meet them it is my only outlet.

    I moved here a year back after living in the same area all my life and have tried joining clubs but there is no one on their own everyone has been going to them for years. I am a naturally social or person and have joined two book clubs just to get out for an hour. I have never been a hobby person apart from strenuous swimming, gardening and walking for hours so now my health precludes me from anything but the lightest gardening and walking I find it difficult. Hubby suffers from depression and does not want to go out.

    I actually find helping people on this forum has at least given me something worthwhile to focus my mind on. I have also joined the Friends of a local little library and we try to raise funds to give mostly the children little events and I find that rewarding.

    I must admit this isn't what I envisaged "retirement" to be I had plans for a kayak course and wild swimming and getting a rescue collie and training them but am trying to deal with the hand I have been dealt with the best I can but it is more difficult some days than others.

    When you are low please come on and talk to us as sometimes just voicing it out loud and talking to others in the same situation helps.x

  • Thank you it definately has. I hate talking about it because I know people really dont want to hear it so having this place as an outlet is awesome! Thanks for responding and goodluck to you.

  • I admire you rosewine - you get out there and get on with it !!!! Guts. !!!! 😊😊😊😊- (sorry to hear about hubby) Neese xx

  • Ah the old life, it's hard to remember the time when I could just get up and GO without all the problems involved , say yes to. Invitations without a second thought, not have to worry about painkillers etc etc. Sadly that's what having fybro is like, it's so hard and you do lose lots of friends as they just don't understand what we go through, , but it could be worse, we could be blind deaf unable to move or speak, I take Stephen Hawkins as my inspiration , nothing is impossible , take care

    Don't be disabled in spirit as well as physically

    Stephen Hawkins

  • Thank you I work hard on staying positive but I catch myself having a pity party from time to time. You are absoloutely right it could b worse! Thanks for the quote very inspiring

  • You're welcome, we've all been there believe me, you are young and have your whole life before you, make the most of it while you can , And remember we're all here to talk to when you're feeling down, take care

    You say you used to do hair, I used to be a hairdresser many years ago too before i retired, if you're not able to work full time now, maybe you could do mobile hairdressing which would mean your own hours depending on how you feel, or I go into a nearby care home and do the residents hair occasionally when I feel up to it, they are so grateful and I love to chat to the people there which helps me too, think about it.

  • Hi Nette9

    I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have pasted you a link below to our mother site, FMA UK which hosts loads of useful Fibro information:

    fmauk.org/

    I am so genuinely sorry to read of how you are feeling and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck my friend, and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

You may also like...