I'm Running out of Options & Time.

[Tonda]

Sharing the short version. Married with two sons at home, to raise. 7 yrs of physical pain, and 7yrs of mental abuse to add to the issues. A severely insecure and evil spouse who prides himself of tearing me down. No financial income for myself because of the 2nd unfavorable decision made towards my disability case. No health coverage anymore and medicaid is dragging it's feet. With hopes I figure out another way. But what about my two young sons? They don't deserve to keep suffering from this negative environment. I've worked over 20 years, lost all members to my immediate family within a four-year time frame and stuck in a relationship like being incarcerated, constantly scraping the ground floor with depression because of the daily belittling I have to endure. STILL I say, "BUT WHAT ABOUT MY TWO BOYS? " Lord Jesus I constantly pray for the right answer to be delivered from all this pain and misery.

[Betty67]

Oh Tonda, so sorry that you have so many burdens. You will find the strength as your boys need you. Things you can do to help detox your life make baby steps. Make a plan of things you can change to try and regain your life. Gentle hugs.

[Telynores]

Oh no, I feel for you. If this is not just a 'bad day' I have to say that whatever it takes, look after yourself and your boys. Finances have a way of working themselves out but toxic relationships don't.

Be kind to yourself!

[I_z_232_3]

Tonda, how old are your boys? They don't need to witness your abuse, there are people out there who can help, it takes a great deal of strength to change things but your boys are your rock they would not enjoy seeing their Mum unhappy. God bless, I know exactly how you feel I have been there xx

[Tonda in reply to I_z_232_3]

Thank you for your response. They are 13 and 11. I'm using my countless nights to research attorneys and/or other information. I pray daily for the strength to forgive myself for the ignorance I obtained 15yrs ago,when bringing my precious and innocent 1st born son to my union. Being completely unaware of the neglect from my spouse towards him. Which started at the age of 6 for him. After having my 2nd & 3rd child, my mother took a turn for the worst. From working 8 to 10 hrs a day, then caring for my mom, power of attorney, etc. During her terminal last 3 months of living. Not one time did my 9yr old nor spouse EVER mention the weekly whipping my precious 1st born was receiving. (Dear Lord Jesus. . .) To later find out 7 whole months later, through my cousin, that her daughter slept over one weekend and the kids shared their secrets with each other. When she called to inform me of our children conversation, it was brought to my attention 4 hours before my father passed away. Thanks so much for listening. My oldest is grown now and in the military and college. Glory to God. But I WILL NOT STOP until I rescue my boys from this negative environment.

[Fibrofoggiest]

Hi Tonda,

I cried as I read your post, it hit hard as a friend not so long ago went through similar troubles and so I really really feel for you. You can't stay in such an environment and as you say, neither do you want this for your little boys.

Could I suggest that you take a look at these websites and contact any one of them or all of them, for some back up and possible way out of your ghastly situation.

refuge.org.uk

thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/n...

leavingabuse.com/help-for-a...

I'm sending you lots and lots of positive, strengthening and healing vibes to give you the courage to take a first step to claiming back your own precious life and that of your two lovely boys.

Foggy x

Ps please also feel free to PM (private message - click on my name and then when my profile comes up, on the right hand side of the page is a button saying "message" click on that and you will be able to write and then click send at the bottom) I hate knowing of women going through such horrendous abusive times - gentle hugs !!

[Tonda in reply to Fibrofoggiest]

Thank you so much. Will respond back soon. I have to get the boys things ready for school this morning.

[I_z_232_3]

Tonda, my heart goes out to you. Please stay strong not just for your boys, but for yourself, Izzy 💪🙏 xx

[TheAuthor]

I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for what you are having to endure. I am presuming that you are in the US? If so, I have pasted the telephone number for the US Samaritans below. I would urge you to ring them and explain your situation and maybe they can offer you some advice or help?

The Samaritans United States Of America

Telephone: [phone]-TALK

I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Treewade]

Please get out of the abusive relationship go to a battered wife's home and take those boys with you life is hard at first but I believe with all my heart you will have a great life without an abuser in it please get out now while you still have the strength to fight if only for your boys. You are a valuable person and touch many lives please don't let him take your spark single parenthood rules I love it and I believe you will too sending soooo much love your way xxxxxxxx

[Onyameba]

thoughts & prayers are with you. Gentle hugs.