It's been a while, I know. On the 4th of Sep, while on hols in Ireland with my Mum, my Dad had a massive heart attack and died in seconds.
From that day my whole life became a dream.....I had to fly to Dublin to be with my Mum..... and stay and support her until my Dad's body was flown back to england..... It's so very hard to watch the pain and sorrow in everything my Mum says or does, but I stayed with her all the time.
On Friday we finally got to lay my Dad to rest, after weeks of hold ups.
On Saturday morning, I had a complete meltdown... my Brothers were with my Mum, so I came home.
I am so very, very sad and just feel numb! There was no build up to this! He was a fit and healthy (ex army) 73 year old, who took long walks with my Mum along the seafront or fields where they live on the south coast!
They were married for 55years!.....I needed to get this out of my system guys, and also let you know that I haven't left you all!!..... Much love my friends... Ninja.....♥♥♥
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ninjananna
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I am so so sorry to hear of your loss and send you and your mother my deepest heartfelt condolences. What a huge shock for you all, the only small consolation, and I doubt whether at this time it feels like it though, is that he didn't suffer at all, which can be seen as a positive, but as I said, I doubt it does at the moment, but with time, you may understand that.
I am sending you the hugest amount of positive, healing, soothing and uplifting vibes to help you through the coming days and weeks of trying to come to terms with your loss. Know that we are all here for you and will do whatever we can to help and sustain you through this horrid time. 😕
You are absolutely right about that! Mum and I have already spoken about this and that it's everyone's ideal way to go. We do take solace in that he wouldn't have suffered!
Oh my love I am so sorry , it terrible when you lose your parents ,it's never the right time ,and they are always to young , I really feel for you ,I lost my dad at 67 , got lukiamia at 64 they gave him weeks to live he lasted 3 year I got to know my dad as a man not just my dad ,my friend lost her dad in a car accident a year before me ,I concidered my self the lucky one ,because I got to say good bye , I held her when she cryed ,you have my deepest sympathies you can never replace him but look back and think of the good times the things that made you giggle together and cry , the walks when you were a child ,and talk about him don't be afraid to talk get your grief out don't bottle it up ,that's not good for a healthy person ,your in my thought and prayers , you don't have to be strong all the time remember that . And there are people that love you ! Let them be there for you , I had cruise counciling after my dad died ,it did help,
Hugs ,
Be kind and gentle to yourself
Take care
Love
Chris xxxx
hi there ninjananna i'm so sorry to hear about your dad dying like that you must have been so shocked that it didn't sunk in please except my deepest condolence, words have gone in shock of reading you very sad post may my thoughts and prayers be with you and your family at this sad time. please feel free if you need to chat i'm here for you i'm Alan please except my love for your sad time xx
Oh my dear, I am so very sorry for your loss, I am thinking of you at this sad time xxx
Like chris said, it's never the right time. 55 years married is amazing. It is good that your mom has you and your brothers to help her hang on. It is not easy for you either and I understand why you had a meltdown. If your family is like mine, they understand and love you, and want what is best for you.
Oh no! I am so genuinely and sincerely sorry to read of your sad and tragic loss. Please can I offer you and your family all my deepest condolences. Please take care of yourself and one another.
Oh u poor thing thoughts with u and ur mum and the rest of ur family. here if u need a shoulder or to off load anything or shout and rant at , just message me send love to ur mum and of course u so sorry to hear
Dear Ninja sending you huge hugs and condolences to you. What a sad time you have had. Bless your `dad and may he rest in peace!
No one can offer an answer to the pain you are feeling right now. I know when my Dad's time came it was a bolt from the blue and I was stationed a long way from so could NOT DO ANYTHING EXCEPT LISTEN.
So listening to others is what I do now . Sometimes I stand by the side of FIELD OR VISTA and I look at the clouds and send him my love I hope he is as proud of me now as I am of him.
Gentle comfort and hugs we are here if you need to chat, sometimes just knowing we are helps!!
Sorry about the loss of your Dad how Sad n unexpected this was for all of you.
Hope your Mum is ok my sypathies are with you all.
Hope you will all have the Strength to get through this sad time the pain and everything is hard to get through I know I have lost a few people to so it is hard I know.
I echo the above. Big hugs all round. Even though he didn't suffer, it doesn't lessen the grief. I know from experience, neither does having some warning. I (and we) thinking of you at this sad time.
I'm so sorry it is a shock my thoughts are with you and the family at this time.
My Dad passed away earlier this yr very similarly I was numb couldn't think straight ... its the shock I think.
Be kind and gentle with yourself at this time.
Here if you want to talk x
Dear Ninja, I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear about your dad. I can understand what a shock that must have been coming out of nowhere. I think Foggy has said it and agree that it is of no comfort now, but he didn't suffer. I have been in the situation where you are keeping a bedside vigil for someone and it still doesn't really prepare you for their demise but at least you have a chance to say goodbye.
I know this is going to sound very odd to some people, but my Mother took great comfort in going to somewhere quiet and just talking to her mum after she had died. She was able to tell her all the things that she had forgotten to say, all the things she wanted her to know and to finally just tell her how much she loved her and how much she would be missed. After that cry and grieve but remember the life he had and how much he loved his family. The love you have for him will never fade and he will always be in your heart.
Sending you the biggest hugs to help you through. Foggy has already offered but that same offer applies here should you wish to unload or just have a general rant.
Hi Ninja, so sorry to read your sad post on the loss of your Dad, may he RIP. I hope that your Mum, yourself and your brothers, bring comfort to each other.
You will always miss your Dad, but in time the raw grief will lessen.
ddear ninjananna, i am so sorry about your terrible loss. you were there for your mom when she needed you. now, please take time for yourself to grieve. i lost my dad almost 20 years ago. one day he had the flu, the next it was stomach cancer, and 5 weeks later he passed. my mother was a very self centered difficult woman and my brother had his own serious issues so it was my hubby and i who took care of everything. had little time to grief since my mother went over the edge and had to be put into a mental institution where she thoroughly enjoyed herself. it took me many years to get to the point that i could really let go and think about my dad. don't let it go as i did. i think it was part of what became the beginnings of my fibro. take care of yourself now. you deserve it. i would imagine your dad would want you to.
So sorry to read your post my heart went out to you as this is how my dear Dad wrnf at 70 and there is nothing in lice that can prepare you for it. Like you there are weeks of delay before he could be laid to rest and that time seems to be interminable. Mom had a fall the day afterwards and I had the flu at the time and I think k you just go on autopilot to cope. When. It is all over reality starts to set in.
You will go through all the cycles of grieving and it sometimes take a long time to get out to the other side. Take that time and don't try to rush through it, allow yourself to feel it all and don't try to push it down as I did.
I am glad you can eon here to shar your grief as that is the first step in grieving. All our thoughts and prayers are with you at this most difficult of timesx
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