I just want to talk a bit about my mum. It's the second anniversary of her passing today and I want to mark it somehow. Just bought a little plant in a Xmas mouse pot for her,I always get her something for Xmas even though she isn't here. I still feel she can see it.
I still find it so hard to believe she has gone. How can someone just disappear? I realise now what a rock she was to me and that can never be replaced. Yes she was quite a difficult person sometimes,she was firm in her beliefs and nothing would change that. She came from a tough London upbringing,my grandad was an alcoholic and my mum and her two brothers had a tough upbringing with their parents arguing constantly and her dad drunk and spending all their money. She never really understood my love of dogs and could be quite horrid sometimes about it. However she was a generous woman and would never see me or my sister go without. She loved football passionately Spurs in particular. I've never met a woman so in love with football as much as her. She always dressed beautifully,was always colour coordinated,she had wardrobes full of clothes. She loved my dad very much and he loved her, my dad died ten years ago and she never got over it. I do hope I find a love like that one day. She was always there for me when my marriages broke up,when I went through post natal depression. She could be very tactless at times and quite hurtful but she was my mum and I loved her no matter what. I know she loved me,her family were her world.
I just want to people to know who she was,that she was alive and she is still alive in me and her grand children and my dad too. I've come to terms and accepted loosing my dad but its so much harder loosing my mum and realising I'm on my own. It's a big thing to get your head around.