Keep smiling

Hi everyone sorry not been on for a while, had a horrible week and needed some quite time... well here goes my wonderful partner has decided to leave me,as he cant cope with the depression or fibromyalgia anymore...I'm some what of an embarrassment if i have to walk with a stick....it does hurt and the stress has triggered a lovely un-welcomed flare..but I keep smiling, and have to think what a very selfish shallow person he must be....sorry for the rant in need of a vent xxx

28 Replies

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  • So sorry you are going through this, lets hope he never needs help to function day to day, can only send love and hugs xxx

  • Thank you...some people just don't get it and he is one of them....

  • Hello rebacca

    How incredibly sad. I'm so sorry you are going through such a rotten time.

    Unfortunately unless people have been ill themselves they have no idea how incredibly hard it is to deal with pain on a daily basis.

    I, too, am sending love and hugs

    Lu xx

  • No your right if they've never had pain they dont understand...but then i supported him with PTSD x thank you for your kind words

  • What happened to "... in sickness and in health?" Hi rebecca, im so sorry to hear this. I hope you recover quickly from your flare up and that you thrive without your inconsiderate ex partner. Soft hugs, stay strong, Mags x

  • Well we wasn't married so i don't think the " Sickness and in health " applied..but then you are supposed to support each other...x thank you for your reply and hugs back at you x

  • Long term commitment is still that though. Commitment! Lots of hugs at this tough time.

  • Hi Rebecca,

    So sad to hear about this news, It's awful when they don't seem to understand.

    I can only send positive energy and soft gentle hugs to you, I wish I could do more.

    Chin up my friend, take care, we will be here for you.

    Hugs,

    Elizabeth xxx

  • Positive energy and hugs is more than enough ss thank you xx

  • Hi Rebecca,

    I am sorry you have to go through this, but if this is how he truly feels better you know now. As you say, he is shallow and I am sure if he was the one who had this illness you wouldn't walk away.

    Big hugs and positive vibes being sent your way :)

  • Thank you, and your right better to know now than later x big hugs x

  • And better to rant and get it out as it fester internally :)

    As you said yourself, keep smiling :)

  • Hi there, so sorry you are going through a bad time now, but you will get through this you know that, if you can cope with fibro you can cope with anything, right ?👍😃. Take care of yourself.

  • I will get through it, i have the best family around me and wonderful fibro mates on here xx thank you xx

  • Sorry for the rant? No, you go on and let it all out. This is only the beginning! Rant and enjoy, come out a calmer person. You deserve it.

  • Some people just don't understand how much fibro can cost you. Unfortunately when they see that is causing problems they seem to want to be fair weather friends. The problem with that is fibro plus other issues equal stormy days a lot. That's when they begin to slip away into the sunset because they are not as strong as you are. A few of them know they are weaker but most blame you for being so strong. So whatever comes along next stay strong. Hugs and good vibes

  • I'm sorry to hear that you take care and keep strong xxx

  • Your not on your own mine told me he couldn't touch me in a drunken stuper because of my incontince issues ,I had a massive flare 2 months ago because of the stress of his drinking and my body went into overdrive ,I ended up having to call the police he got so bad ,they get angry with us because of there issues and blame us for there weakness of character ,I wish I could take your pain away in your heart but 2 months on it get easier I miss him sometimes but I am better by myself we don't need people in our lives that bring us down anymore than we are already ,it will get better it will just take time xx

  • So sorry to read your post as you have said it is better to find out now but still a shock. You are a strong person so will get through it even though at the moment it might not seem like it. Come on here and rant and rave as often as you want to it is better out than in as they say. Hope you eventually find someone who loves you for the wonderful person you are. Soft hugs.x

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck. Please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Thank you, I must be a strong person as i get through most things, the kind words and support im finding on here is wonderful...He may have left, but i have the most precious gift in the world my children and grandchildren xx they are my strength xx big hugs Ken and again thank you

  • Words fail me.... Bloody Fibro fog!! However, remember it's HIS loss & he will feel disappointed in himself deep within (though he may try to deflect it away!) you don't need to be dragged down by a selfish, uncaring ****wit & deserve better.

    I'm currently having issues with mine (though we don't live together) & have found that CBT has helped me to deal with him calmly & without blaming myself. He has his own issues which are complex & I have decided to have 'a break' to allow me to work it out. He seems to resent me deep down in lots of ways but won't admit it. It's worse since I was diagnosed at the end of last year but he's never been with the 'well me' so I don't get it!!'

    Maybe we never will & we mustn't forget that planet stuff...... they can't help it!!! Stay strong & enjoy the support of us all on here. Let it out & rant big time, you deserve to!!

    My advice would be to consider CBT if you've not had it already through Time to Talk as it's helpful in identifying individual triggers & I'm managing much better now I've accepted my lot which has led me to being much more positive again like the 'old me' Mark 3!!!

    As I was reminded.... Friends are for:

    Reason

    Season

    Life

    Personally I've been upset & disappointed by many who don't get Fibro .... but it's their issue, if they're shallow, uncaring individuals we DON'T need them.

    Sending huge but gentle hugs, now you need a cuppa!! X

  • Thank you for your reply, its difficult when a partner doesn't understand and you sound like you've got the same sort of problems...its great to chat though somehow makes things easier...right now im going to have that cuppa and get my body moving....sending you love and hugs my friend xxx

  • Hi Rebecca. Think you summed him up in one. He has lost a lovely wonderful person who deserves someone who loves you for who you are. What an idiot. Remember we are all here for you. Big hugs and luvs from your spoonies xxx

  • Thank you, your words do mean an awful lot, and keep me strong xx sending hugs your way xx

  • Hi Rebecca, it's awful when those supposedly nearest to us don't understand, and it sounds daft to say you are better on your own, but it's true. We have enough to cope with on a daily basis without worrying about how we, or our illness, is affecting someone else. Chin up love, things will get better for you, like you I have my daughter and granddaughter and they are all I need. Take care, hugs Linda x

  • Hi Rebecca

    I am so sorry that your partner was unable to understand the effects of your health issues. That must have been very hard for you to discover and now you have to adjust to being on your own which must also be difficult. It is never easy when relationships end and having one end because of health issues you are unable to control must feel like a double blow. I guess once you get your anger out of your system you will feel incredibly sad about it all and perhaps also experience issues around whether the health problems will get in the way of future relationships...

    I imagine you are likely to need to grieve at some point, but after you have then it might help you to reflect upon why your partner was unable to cope. I don't know the reasons for his PTSD and it is a credit to you that you helped him with it, but some people who have been traumatised simply don't have the strength to take on any further stress because they fear it will result in their symptoms returning. It may be that your partner was feeling more vulnerable himself than you realised. I don't know whether he was a decent fellow to start with, only you know that, but if he was then it is likely that his own vulnerability was the reason for his opting out of the relationship. It takes strength and maturity to support another person and it sounds as though your partner may not have either. Feel sad about that but try not to hate him for it, we all have weaknesses and perhaps his and yours are too much for him, perhaps he also imagines they were too much for you too.

    Suex

  • Rebecca, I am saddened at the news that you and your partner have just gone your separate ways. However, you seem to have a very *healthy* attitude about the situation, and realize that he made his choice from a very selfish point of view. I'm proud of you for this ~ obviously you have a realistic outlook on life (in spite of your Fibro) and were able to deal with him and his PTSD much better than he is, which is quite a shame, and shows just how shallow he was, I think ...

    I know that in time (if not already) you will realize that this was definitely for the best ~ because a better person WILL come into your life ~ someone who will accept you for the beautiful person you are!

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