Kids don't understand fibromyalgi?

Y doesn't anyone understand y u can't do wor u used to do my kids seem to think there nothing wrong with me and that I'm lazy I tired talking to them but all I get is I'm selfish coz I won't look after the grandkids I find it hard I'm in pain I say but they don't listen.anyone else have this problem? Xx

17 Replies

  • That message was spelt mainly wrong sorry guys hope you no wot I meant fibromyalgia I was meant to spell xx

  • Yes I do understand except I get that from my husband he makes me feel so guilty.

  • I understood you perfectly! However I am very lucky that my youngest daughter (28 almost 29) understands my pain to a point. Oddly enough my son in law understands very well!! My daughter is very ADHD and simply put forgets! There are times when she will ask me something after I have been up for awhile. It's like huh not right now I am hurting. Then it's oh mom I didn't realize just how long you have been up! Then she feels guilty about asking! I am very lucky to have have kids that understand! I wish all of you could be that lucky!

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to this issue. I think that there is a bind in this situation, in that why would you want to look after the grandchildren when all your children do is cause you pain? The whole situation will make your Fibro worse so you could be better off simply not explaining yourself at all.

    It may be beneficial to discuss how you are feeling with your GP or Medical Specialist to see if there are any other medications that they can prescribe for you? I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • They have never understood it doesn't matter what I say I just don't no wot to do anymore I even showed them the letter I got from the specialist still didn't recognize me as having it on Monday nite I had a really bad migraine nearly fell down the stairs was sick every were told them they did nothing, I really give up I'm waiting my time with it I can't take it no more xx

  • My whole family don't understand me ,I'm the black sheep of the family, iv been called a ,LIAR ,LAZY ,Mental ,iv fullen out with my own DAUGHTER ,cos she doesn't help me

    All the best

    Big Hugs

    Love .

    JACQUI x

  • I hear you hun I also been called names my daughter last night gave me a whole lot of abuse on WhatsApp then said I will never c them again all because I said no to baby sitting. My reply to her was I can't keep looking after them it's not fair on me I'm in the bathroom most days in pain that's the only room I can cry so they don't hear me. They don't help me so I told her I'm not doing it I got a load of abuse that's was that I didn't reply apparently it's all I do these days is think of myself and how selfish I am. I'm all ways here if u want to chat hun ok xx

  • I am really sad to say that they sound very selfish and bullying. Just because you are unable to do what they want. Maybe an open letter to them, telling them how much you love them and your grandchildren but how unsafe you feel when you are struggling with this illness. Tell them that you can give them information about the symptoms of your illness but you feel that they are not interested how unwell you can be or how tiring pain itself can be

  • Yes, mollymay1, I think ailsamary is right in suggesting you need to tell them you feel unsafe! Or better yet, that the kids would be unsafe with you in charge. If you are not well, cannot remember things, cannot function fully with a completely healthy and energetic body, then you are not able to take care of those kiddos!

    I do not feel capable of staying with mine alone, and I have made it clear that "Grandpa needs to be along with me!" I cannot lift little ones, I cannot chase after them ... and my mental state and my memory are not always focused and clear! AND I usually hurt far too much to even consider doing it. That limits our sitting time greatly (to his @ home/free time)!

    I find it quite disturbing that your kids would have the audacity to chide you because of not caring for theirs. You need to find a good description of Fibromyalgia and also a skeletal/body diagram w/all the parts & effects of FMS labeled, print them out and see that they read both.

    There are numerous ways to make your point, and SUBTLE is no longer appropriate ...

  • I should have said that we have four very understanding daughters ... I re-read what I wrote, and it sounds *bitter* but it upsets me that you should be so mistreated! I pray that you can make your family understand ... I am sending you soft hugs, dear molly .. bk

  • Morning Mollymay. Im sure your not alone on this. My children are younger and have seen the way I have slowed over the years, my daughters the worse she comes in from school and has a moan if I havent done something she wanted but will say sorry after her out bust once she realises im on a down day. My husband has been the worse but hes getting better too, when I left a book out about living with fibro and he went to drs and she had words with him things have got better. The only thing is stress makes us worse so easyier said then done but we have to close our ears and eyes to alot of the negative. Have you ever thought of writing them a letter about how you feel. Anyway I hope it gets better for you. Gentle hugs x

  • Hard when they won't understands. But it is them that are being selfish everyone. I would never have dreamed of having a go at my mum if she could'nt look after my daughter for me whatever her reason. And it gives me comfort now to know i was there for her when she was unwell. You only get one mum they should treasure you not give you abuse.

  • Selfish kids! you deserve better, have a hug, sending one your way xx

  • Thankyou magi999 xx

  • My oh doesn't understand and we have 2 young children who are too young to understand yet, my oldest is nearly 5 but can help a little when she's in the mood. Most days I've had enough of them by the time my oh comes home from work! Yet he still doesn't understand, I've no help from family as my parents live 45 mins drive away. I fell for you and know how you feel x hope your children come to understand in time. I was given Pete's pain management booklet and my family found reading this helpful.

  • I can empathise with you. I was retired from work due to my ill health, I receive benefit for help because I can't look after myself. Unfortunately husband and kids think I can now be a housewife and babysitter. I love my grandchildren very much and love to have them for a sleepover. My husband is no help, he loves them if he doesn't have to do anything. Luckily they are now at an age where they can do most things for themselves so I see them more often! You can look forward to that!

  • To be honest, I actually resent the fact that my grandchildren love their papa so much when I am the one thinks up the little surprises and have to clear up after them.

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