Sorry to moan but need to put this down..... Yesterday I felt low no particular reason pain was same as always . Slept really badly everything hurt but today the blackest cloud is hanging over me. My pain and energy levels are so bad, the sun is shining but I just want to close the curtains. I'm so stressed about forthcoming esa medical Im almost on the point of pulling out of my claim! Palpitations pounding away. I 'm worried about starting the gabapentin..... I hate this flipping illness, it's robbed me of any enjoyment. I'm sad, angry and resentful today. sorry for depressing post but just needed to rant.
Hugs to all
Jo x
Written by
joannie1964
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I completely understand about your worries over your ESA medical. Have you tried Bach Rescue Remedy? I find it works well for me for my anxiety attacks. I also take Quiet Life tablets from my local health food shop. I didn't think they were really working until I stopped taking them.
Do not pull out of your claim. If you don't win you have to appeal.
Do you have someone to go with you? I'm so sorry I can't remember.
Hey Lu thanks for reply. My hubby can't come as his boss is on leave that week and he's in charge. Don't want daughter coming as I don't want her to see me upset or know the extent of my health issues as shes a worrier. I'm not actually worried about going on my own its more the process.what they will ask, that they won't believe me etc. As for meds its just changing what I'm used to although clearly they are not working at present.... side effects weight gain. I've already put on stone and half since last summer and hate myself atm. and also he wants to start me on duloxitine in 8 weeks and many people say their depression worsened and they even became suicidal on it. I know everyone is different.... guess I'm just a worrier.
If at all possible you should try to take someone with you to your medical. It shows that you need help to get to places. They will ask you general questions about getting up, washed dressed, can you prepare a meal etc.
Please don't be pulled in by them appearing nice to you. It lulls you into a false sense of security. I have to rest my arms when washing my hair. I didn't think to mention that and I should have done.
I lean on the worktop when I prepare a meal. I should have mentioned that but didn't think it was 'enough' to talk about.
When ironing I have to stop for constant breaks. It's all these sort of things you need to talk about. They will ask you about your food shopping habits and questions like are you able to ask someone if you can't find what you want in a supermarket. I said I do my shopping online because i can't lift heavy bags, which is true.
As to your meds Gabapentin did make me put on some weight, but I've managed to lose it. Sometimes, unfortunately you have to weigh up whether you want pain relief over the weight gain.
I, personally, would not want to go on Duloxetine. I'm not a doctor and I do not know what other meds you're on. This is my opinion only from my own experience. I felt that Duloxetine made my depression much worse amongst other severe side effects. Is it possible you could ask for a different antidepressant. I know others will have other opinions, and this is only mine. It's between you and your GP to decide which is best for you.
Ask me anything you want. I'm going for an appointment shortly but will be around this afternoon.
Aw sounds like you need to give yourself some loving tender care whether its curtain closed feet up . Sometimes I get light sensitive and the light is somewhat glary and makes me squint. this is also a symptom too for some. Im afraid the pains and the chronic ness of them leave one exhausted. over time you'll come to recognise your symptoms and learn what things in your life need to be managed. The ESA thing has been a worrying and constant stress giver for all of us. The one thing I would add is there is always or saying that in my experience they always ask can you tell them about your day. I would like to say please don't exaggerate as this will only go against you, I would suggest that think of all the things you do from standing and making a drink to getting up and dressed does anyone help you do you need aids do you need to rest and pace things. What things do you do differently now to how you did some years ago. I wish I could help you more but will leave it here, and wish you have a successful claim . xx
PS has your doctor sent you on a fibro management course this is a god sent helping the individual to become more aware of how this illness affects us and how to manage it. or pain management all good x
Hi Royalspec01 my doctor hasn't mentioned the fibro course however in her defence I've only met her once since I had to re register at a new doc as my old practice was shut down for unsafe practice... great eh? I'll ask her about it at next visit. Your advice was very helpful, of course I would not lie at assessment and will tell them as it is. some days better than others, but walking limited, shower when hubby here as I lose my balance and have fallen over several times n shower losing balance. Can't wash own hair as hurts my arms and neck too much. Don't cook any hot meals wait for hubby to get home as I burn everything or forget something is cooking and constantly setting fire alarm off lol! Don't like to drive much either as neck too painful to move so can't check over my shoulder etc. what a wreck! What will be will be I guess.
Rant away we all do at some point in time! I understand about being nervous but please don't make yourself so sick you have to go to the hospital! Hugs and good thoughts headed your way!
thank you Arymretep Yes you are right I think after a good cry and rant its like the reset button has been pressed. It is so unpredictable which I fd particularly difficult as like to be in control lol which am definitely not with this illness.
I would like to support what Lu said about Gabapentin as a good pain reliever, my wife has a different serious medical condition and has been prescribed it by the doctors, without it she can hardly function due to nerve pain but with it she doesn't feel much pain at all that isn't from doing silly things like walking into doors.
Sorry I can't help more than that as just discovering how this wonderful illness makes us feel!
I am genuinely sorry to read that and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck with yoru assessment.
Hi Joanie I read what you said about having to wait until your husband to get home cause your forgetful and all that stuff , I use my mobile phone alarm for my meds cooking and appointments plus my daughter for that final reminder incase I forget that . There are items that are safe to like toasters and also, halogen cookers they have timers on that switch it off. There are various other timers that can be used with bells on. This helps me feel a little independent still as I realise how demoralising it can leave one feeling at times. This isn't meant to sound anything but an option if you choose. xx
If you have an android phone there is an app called dosecast that allows you to enter what medicines you take, when and how much, it will then notify you with an alarm when you need to take them, my wife who has a number of meds to take has found this app helpful.
So sorry to hear how awful you are feeling. Having to go thru all the hoops at regular intervals to keep the benefits and blue badges is such a worry and strain to all of us. There's no way round it. I think it's so tough because they'd like everyone to give up. Do go it's so important and once it's done you'll be glad you went ahead. The fear is always there when we go. I use mindfulness which is a great help but when the bad days hit and they do it is so depressing but they do go and then we can go back to our normal. Which is surprisingly better than the really bad days. We do have that difference at least. It does get better.
I'm allergic to all the usual meds and wasn't able to take more than a couple of gabapentin but I know it doesn't agree with everyone. Unless something makes you feel a lot better perhaps you need to see the Dr and try something else.
Hi Jan h thank you. Not been for medical before as until now I've been on contribution based esa. Do they take into account or does it go against you the fact that we have good and bad days? Many people have said to tell how it is on the worst day scenario?
Hi there, you must tell them abut your bad days and the very bad days. The assessor told me that she needed to know what life was really like on a day to day basis and that's what I did for my pip assessment. The assessor came to me as I wasn't well enough to go to them. When I had my esa a few years ago the nurse asked really stupid questions and I had a letter saying that I could return to work at some point. I knew that would never happen and when a Dr reassessed me he told me that I would never work again, which of course was correct. I'm retired now but still have,to be checked which of course is right but it's always a scary
thing. But tell them how bad it is on a day to day basis
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Please do try to find someone to go with you. 
Bad day today
Bad pain day 
Bad day, sitting in my office crying
Having a bad day
