Really bad day today

[looking4me]

Today I feel really off, besides fatigue, sleep paralysis, dizziness, headache, back and neck pain, I'm feeling really depressed. I am financially broke, since unable to work a lot. By the time I paid my bills I have about $11 to last me two weeks. I suppose I have a husband but I never was one for asking people for money. It was always the other way around. Now that my health is suffered the tables have turned. I don't feel like I can really depend on anyone including my husband. He does his best, but the fact is he is stingy lol. Oh well, whatever. I guess I won't be making dinner if he doesn't buy groceries. My kids are young and live on their own and always seem to need financial help. Whatever food I have left over I do send them. My mother is asking me to buy her meds and I can't afford too either. They make me worry constantly. I feel so guilty I can't do more. See I'm a mess in every way possible.

[Scottish-piglet]

Maybe it's time to make yourself a priority. You need time and help from others, try telling your husband how bad things are and ask if he can contribute more to the household. As for your children if they are old enough to live on their own then they are old enough to stand on their own two feet, especially when you need to keep what little you have.

Sorry I don't have an answer on how to help your mum being in the Scotland we are lucky that we don't have to pay for meds.

Take time for you, rest when you need to and do what you can if and when you can manage xx

[Hidden]

Your not a mess you can only do your best ,I know what it feels like to have pain dizziness and all what you siad but you still have a life and you got to try to fight you Fibro I feel for you I really do I home your Fibro eases and you can try get. Some normality in your life Be brave honey x

[albinohedgehog]

Im sorry youre having such a hard time. As the others have said, you need to look after yourself, especially if youre depressed. Wish i coukd help you more but sending you hugs.

Xx

[TheAuthor]

Hi my friend

I am so genuinely sorry to read of the way that you are feeling, and as the others have said you need to look after yourself as well. I would have a good long conversation with your husband about finances? A marriage in a bed made for two yet it is always the wife that makes it every morning? Please take care of yourself my friend.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[annacruachan]

So sorry that you're having such a dreadful time, I don't wonder that you're depressed.

From what you write you have always been the strong one in the family, the go-to person for everyone else's problems. It's obvious that you can't do this any longer and it seems to me that you need to make this clear to those around you. You have to be strong for yourself this time, hard though you may find that. When they know what a struggle you're having holding everything together it's possible that they may surprise you with their reaction.

Stopping doing the things which cause you pain or exhaust you is probably a better way to get your point over than talking. Maybe your husband will see things differently when he has to iron his own shirts

Gentle hugs. Anna xxx

[Kitten-kat23]

You can only do so much. You are going to have to let them know your situation and that you care and will help them, but it will have to be within your means.

You must talk to them, or it could cause stress within your family.

[Hidden]

Hi Looking4me, I have just read your post and it saddens me that you sound so alone with everyone relying on you for this and that.

Firstly you say your children are young and living on their own. They also need to learn to stand on their own two. It sounds hard but if you are constantly there to pull them out of all their dilemmas they will never work it out on their own. Sad to say there will come a day when you wont be there for them and they have to stand together as a family but support themselves I help my kids when I can, but if I can't they don't get it.

Secondly, is there anyone else who can help with the cost of your Mother's meds? If you don't have the money and she doesn't is there any other way around it. Is there any form of benefit that would help her with her meds? Sorry in GB we have the National Health Service, so I am unfamiliar with any other procedures.

Lastly, talk to your husband. He may be stingey but surely even he has to eat! you could try explaining to him that if you are stressed out about finances and feeding everyone that it make you worse than you already are.

I hope you can find a path that works for you

[skit]

Hi know it sounds daft but look on the bright side. You have us!!!!!

[looking4me]

I don't know how I can take care of myself with the constant pressures and guilt. I just don't even have a clue how to heal. The antidepressants are driving me insane with the side effects. The only reason I take them is to go to a job I can't stand. I decided to stop taking them today. They are making my anxiety WORST! I need to focus on a solid plan and career change. I don't want to be stuck without money anymore. If this job isn't working I need to take some time on sick leave then go on EI till I can regroup and find a new job. The stress is going to kill me.

[Milynda]

You are not alone. Ian in the same predicament. I went off sick at work because I hated it. I have found a new job but myold job may not give references. My daughter is getting married. I had to have a talk with her about money. My husband is working two jobs and I feel desperately guilty. My intention is to let you know that the only way to deal with it is to tAke it one day at a time and make small changes until they become big ones. This is the adjustment we have to make from being strong independent women to being only human. Take care of yourself and do one happy thing a day for yourself.