The causes of fibromyalgia: Hi everyone... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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The causes of fibromyalgia


Hi everyone,

Do any of you give any thought to why you have developed this condition? My haìrdresser has also recently been diagnosed with it and we were talking about it today. We both used to suffer from anxiety and depression and weirdly enough, the subject always turns to our childhoods, and that we believe both our mothers have narcissistic personality disorder. I am in a constant state of hypervigilance when around my mum, and have always had a difficult relationship with her.

I had a car accident about 3 years ago and had a caesarian section last year - so an accident and surgery. I do wonder though whether my stress levels have a very strong part to play.

Just wondered what your thoughts are on the cause of your diagnosis, if you want to share xx

26 Replies


My thoughts are that a trauma of some kind triggers Fibro. Other causes can be PTSD, car accidents, shock or even an infection.

In my case I feel there have been several triggers for my Fibro. Looking back, I haven't had the easiest of life's, and each time something major has happened in my life, my Fibro has got worse. I also suffer very badly with depression and anxiety and have done so since I was a child. I also believe my mother has NPD but have only recently found out there is a name for this behaviour. I'd be very interested to know what research you've done into this condition and whether you or your friend have discussed it with your mothers. (I appreciate that it would be pointless to have this conversation due to the nature of the condition).

Stress is proved to increase the symptoms of Fibro.

Sorry for the essay!


Tuscany in reply to BlueMermaid3

Hi BlueMermaid

Thank you for your reply. It has taken me 40 years to work out what is going on with my mum. I think I read an article about NPD when I was going through a particularly weird time with my mum, and it hit the nail right on the head. I went to see a counsellor a few times earlier in the year and we discussed it at length. I have a couple of really good books on the subject. What I have found most helpful in fact is YouTube. There are a number of videos on there about it from authors, life coaches, and people who have experienced it. I have never discussed NPD with her because there just isn't any point. She does not take responsibility for anything. She has caused so much trouble and heartache for me over the years and unfortunately still continues to do so by not bothering at all with my daughter, ruining my wedding day and exploiting me financially.

What has made you realise what was going on with your mum? I am thinking of cutting all contact with mine. I am already on low contact. They know something is up.

I think the whole NPD thing is a huge discussion point all on its own! I do think that my upbringing and the hyper vigilance has been a major pre-cursor to this condition. It sucks doesn't it?! Lol.

Take care xx

BlueMermaid3 in reply to Tuscany


I've pm'd you xx

I am so genuinely sorry to read of your experiences in life and I want to wish you all the best of luck. I sincerely hope that your Fibro is not too bad for you and that you are afforded the medications that you desire and deserve from your GP.

All my hopes and dreams for you


Hi, I think trauma and stress was the cause for me. As a child, where i lived, i saw and heard some terrible things and a series of stressful situations in my adult life, some small, some huge, which led to depression, anxiety and finally fibro (maybe not all in that order, hard to say) Also menopause didn't help. I think my late mum could have possibly had fibro too. But, in them days, life was a lot tougher and women tended not to complain. In their thinking it was just the hardship of living and trying to support and raise a family, it was hard work. Or they thought they were just the aches & pains of getting older. There were also some very big families where i came from, plus there wasn't the family support services that we have nowadays- nor did they have the financial help and support that we have today. Well that's my analysis, could be other factors I'm not aware of too. X


My doctor said it was the stress of working 70 hour weeks on top of dealing with my eldest sone behaviour because he started using drugs and became violent and a thief and I threw him out at 16 as a result. Something I still feel guilty for but had to protect my other two as he was beating them when I was at work. I have also just had a bad infection and this has made my fibromyalgia so much worse I am now bedbound on a lot of days. So for me trauma iscwhat triggered it and an infection has made it worse. I have suffered with ME for over 10 years as well and that has gone up a level now as well. X

Although I have had a great deal of stress throughout life. However two years ago I had an unexplained injury on my arm it looked like I had been burnt by a ruler slap and the whole of my arm to my wrist swelled. The Dr said it was a burn but I said I would have known so the Dr decided it was a bite then and I was prescribed antibiotics. A few weeks later I went down with an absys in the mouth (I had only seen the dentist the week before. Antibiotics and 2 root canal filling later still had a small absys. A week after seeing the dentist on the last occasion it started to grow again (If it had not gone in month I was going to be referred to the hospital. I was given an emergency appointment and felt fine. I got off the bus and within a couple of hundred yards lost all co-ordination in legs ended up in a wheel chair and in in Hospital. They removed the tooth, but the dental department said that the absys was not the cause. A&E refused to take me back insisting that it was the absys. The dental side advised me to go back to the Dr. I walked away from the hospital, but have never felt well since. I think it was the poison from the absys as when I was at the hospital before them removed the tooth I had the same sensation in my legs of hot water rising and being able to walk again. This still happens although I have not had such a severe attack in the legs since.

ye i think it is all down to our inbred nature ive always been bit anxious nature but this terrible fibro triggered off bad after the loss of my husband still find it hard coping with life some mornings with the nausea i could just give in but family dont know this thanks for help and back up on here specially the young ones at least i shouldnt grumble at my age fedup me god bless you all

Hi Tuscany, I too think anxiety has a bearing on the cause of fibro. Several years ago my parents were living with me and my boyfriend now husband moved in. It soon became very tense, resulting in my Dad and boyfriend not talking to each other. This went on for 6 months, my boyfriend moved in with his parents. I then had toask my parents to leave as I wanted to sell the house so I could eventually be with my boyfriend. My Mum was understandably very upset and I felt awful as I had years ago promised that I would never do that. The guilt was awful. About 2 years later my Mum passed away , I was with her along with my Dad. I think all these things combined with stress at work has possibly contributed to the fibro. There are 2 work colleagues who have had similar ircumstances who have fibro.

I hope I haven't bored you, didn't intend to write an essay Haha. Xx

Gentle hugs ( ( ( ) ) ) Becky. X

Hi Tuscany,

I can't say that I had any problems with my relationship with my Mum, she was lovely and we were very close. Sadly she died from cancer when I was only 30 with two young children. I'm not sure I ever recovered from losing her. I do have a history of stress and medical problems which include operations and prolonged courses of antibiotics. It's my feeling that these last three have been the triggers for my fibro. Best wishes MariLiz

HI all I am thinking it is a faulty gene as my aunt has fibro my sister my son is showing signs and poor little me is riddled with it. I think everyone in life has suffered with depression and anxiety and hardly anyone has had a good life.( unless you are the Queen) We all have our cross to bear and as you say many of us have S--ty parents including me. I suppose if you are born into money your life is made easier but even then i know some that the parents are so selfish and wrapped up in their snobery they forget about their children and pass them on to nanny's who are sometimes more than cruel. So with so much hate, anger,cruelty,spite, and i could go on surely 90% of this world would suffer with fibro so my belief is there is something else apart from the common factor we all have Deppresion,Anxiety etc there has to be something else we have in common. Maybe we are all distant cousins ???????

injury, virus, ptsd, infection or just bad luck, what ever the reason, hugs to everyone with fibro. xx

Hi dillydally - I was always called that as a child, and by people in school - just wondered why you chose that name hee hee

As far as the fibro, I had a really nasty ski accident in March 2010 and have been involved in 2 car accidents since - my body just does not seem to have recovered. My back kicked off big after the first accident - used to leave me completely incapacitated at times - couldn't eat or drink when it was really bad.

Just started to build up my first again when another idiot drove into the back of my car at 50 mph in March 2013 - it seems to have been a downward spiral since.

Actually, come to think of it, the first car accident was also in March - perhaps I should remain indoors during March in future hee hee

It may actually have been March when I got my diagnosis as well - that is spooky lol ;-) xx

hi landslider, the reason I chose dillydally. my mother-in-law whom I loved so much got dementia and the main words she would say were 'oh dilly dally' and she would also sing a song 'apple blossom time'. on the day of her funeral we had the latter going in and 'my old man said follow the van, and don't 'dilly dally all the way' on the way out, the carers and everyone marched out singing this song, which although a sad time made us all smile. x ps you've certainly had a rough time, at least March is over for another year x

Oh what a lovely memory. I lived with my grandma as a child and she always called me dilly dally as I always seemed to be a dither hahaha xx In school I got it because my surname rhymes with it lol 😁 xx

I also think my CFS/fibro was triggered by anxiety and depression not helped by the menopause. I have had it since my mum died which was quite traumatic for me as I had looked after her for years. 2 weeks after the funeral it all kicked off. Was off work for 18 months and then they made me redundant and haven't worked since. Not able to even consider working now. I find anything makes me anxious and the pain gets worse so I try to keep calm. Not easy. I find the worst thing is trying to plan anything. You never know if you will be up to going on the day and then you let people down. I know my family are sick of me even though they don't say too much. You would think we like feeling like this.


My mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I have ME and Fibromyalgia. I also have a friend who has ME and a mother with NPD also.

I feel this is the root/source which had led up to my ill health.



Hi Tuscany :)

An interesting subject matter :)

Personally speaking, whether it is the anxiety itself that causes the fibro is certainly up for question isn't it?

I must say that I don't know where NPD of parentage plays it's role in the cause of fibro, however, as it won't be the case for many of us as there are over 2.7 million fibromites in the uk. I do agree that the stress you were caused probably contributed to your fibro though as many of us have been affected by stress and traumas of all kinds of ilks.

For instance, my father died when I was 10yrs old, My grandad died whilst vacationing with us at home for Christmas, I was bullied at home by my brother and bullied right through secondary school. Deep depression hit me by the time I was in my 20's when I began the grieving process. I was also in a car accident at 24 and suffered numerous bad falls 2 of which were down a flight of stairs.

However, I don't believe that my pain issues and physical issues were connected to any of that. In fact I ended up depressed because no one would believe I was in pain they said I was in pain because I was depressed and that I just had tight hamstrings when bothered by pain! :O Honestly!! So Psychologially I fit the criteria for that side of things but what about physically? How has it had an impact on your ability to be physically active? Were you an active child and play sports for example?

I think we all have our own ideas about it and they're all worth considering in my opinion especially seeing that I have a very long term chronic anxiety disorder :o

I truly believe that my fibro is a result of my Hypermobility Syndrome which, for me is a genetic condition and a collagen disorder where my joints have been hyperextended for years through playing sports and being very active. It wasn't until I wasn't so active that the symptoms became worse. I've battled in excess of 20yrs for answers like many of us here and hopefully the true cause will be found one day soon :)

I believe that the dislocations and damage to collagen throughout my human body to have caused problems such as with my loose tendons & ligaments, various skin disorders, nerves, my bowel, my womb, my chest, my heart and even eyes.......... it has all been traumatic too in a physical sense not just psychologically!

When we look at the ACR diagnostic criteria for Fibromyalgia it takes into account both psychological and physical aspects.

Please check out these links on which discusse the causes of fibro and then the ACR criteria for diagnosing fibro and see how you fair on the score

:) :) :)

Causes of fibro


How is fibro diagnosed - 1990 ACR criteria & tenderpoint test verus 2010 new ACR criteria with a link to the study


I was diagnosed with HMS and fibro at the same time, how the HMS wasn't picked up on during childhood beats me! Anyhoo!

Remember 'Trauma' is a loose term and can mean or imply just about anything and each and everyone of us fibromites are unique with our histories and illnesses, we are not the same.

Interesting discussion Tuscany and sending healing fluffies your way :)

Hope the links are useful :)

xxx sian :)

Willow51 in reply to Hidden

Hi Sian, mine appears to be due to HMS as well, I didn't get a diagnosis as a child, I'm 64 and it was pretty unheard of back then. I wonder whether we will ever get definitive proof of cause. Hey ho, back to the drawing board :) Hugs Linda x

Hidden in reply to Willow51

{{{{{{ Willow }}}}}}} maybe one day eh! fluffie hugs for you xx

Coming off gluten and dairy which for me being autistic is the equivalent of coming off heroin and being abused as a child triggered mine off.

Can't say I had anxiety or depression.

Hit by a car at 19, a wanted pregnancy which turned into a tumour at 23, debilitating case of shingles at 24 causing me to give up work, three children in 3 years (loved it), somewhere in all that.............

I got upset in later years due to frustration of pain/fatigue :-( but even then not depressed :-D

Thank you to everyone who has replied. This has been a very interesting and informative discussion. There does seem to be many similarities between us. Maybe we should let some doctors read this thread to further their understanding of it! Lol. My heart goes out to evertone who has had a difficult time. Gentle hugs to you all xx

There does seem to be a high percentage of fibro sufferers that have had some form of trauma in the past & because of that, we face many doctors that say it is psychological. However, I have met & talked to several people with fibro that have had NO trauma in their past or any intense stress.

I had trauma in my childhood & have been with a therapist for years. Over 2 years ago, I finally broke thru the psychological issues & have peace. But I still have a lot of physical illnesses & my therapist insists EVERYTHING I deal with is due to past events - including things like diabetes & intermittent bouts of paralysis caused by a fall resulting is major back injuries. I haven't seen that therapist in months & see no reason to see him again. I am a happy person now & he wasn't even the one who really helped me to break thru the past. I found my peace from another source.

Any way, although the majority of people have fribo AND trauma in their lives, many have fibro & a peaceful life. And many who have trauma in their lives do NOT have fibro. Having trauma does not mean a person will have fibro. And I absolutely hate it when medical "experts" say our fibro is from trauma.

I don't believe it is down to depression, I believe depression comes after. I have always been a very strong person. Had an awful family background which I walked away from when you was 17. Spent a short time on the streets but continued college and was lucky enough to get a flat share with one of my classmates. Worked in lots of different jobs. Met my childrens' dad had them bought a house, split up. Moved away and started on my own. Got a good job, mortgage on my own etc etc etc etc I have always been positive and found a way around problems. Then this fibro comes along and slaps me so hard I don't know what happened. Takes away your independence and your whole sense of self - who wouldn't feel down for a while 😊 Come on guys - we have to be positive and not let it beat us 😊💕 xx

Thanks landslider for a great reply. Sounds like you have had a rough ride but have come through the other side. I spent many years on my own, ran a business, worked as a national business development manager for a good few years. I think some of that took it out of me. While doing that job i was involved in a horrible car accident nearly 200 miles from home and my back has never been the same since! I think the hypervigilance i felt as a child made me quite highly strung. My stress levels were really bad a few years ago - ended up having to sell my house because i was sinking financially. It really makes me grateful for what i have now. Yes, i have this horrible condition, but i am now happily married and have a beautiful daughter. I am probably the happiest i have ever been regardless of the illness. Life began at 40 for me :)

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