Well I suppose I better introduce myself... *Cough*
Im Sloth *Waves*
I often refer to myself as a SLOTH because I suffer from a syndrome called Fibromyalgia, chronic widespread pain... I also have osteoarthritis and SAD.
All I do is sleep. I once slept for 4 days straight only getting up to pee... but then, then.. its like... is it worth getting up to pee? Cant move... blehh!
I have suffered from Fibro since, well since I can remember. I'm 24 years old but feel like I'm an old woman trapped in a young looking body.
In high school it really hit me with overwhelming 'growing pains', burning, the feeling of stretched muscles when I'd not done anything, feeling as though my toes etc were dislocating... Doctors just told me I was just growing, and passed everything off as other things. I was told I had asthma.. turns out I dont, its caused by my Fibro. I still get 'growing pains', burning, even cold wet sensations sometimes. The pain that makes me laugh is feeling as though someones kicked me right up the ass! I have so many weird and wonderful pains. They start one place then move to another! Grr.
After years of changing doctors, after them all trying to just cure me with antidepressants... I'm in pain not depressed! After feeding an army of vampires with all the blood tests I'd had done and nothing coming back, I finally found one that knew about Fibromyalgia who sent me straight to hospital for tests. They told me straight away I had Fibro and osteoarthritis in both knees.
After waiting years I finally had an answer. Its been a long and difficult journey but I'm here! But.. here isn't really much better. Ok, I know what it is now, I know I'm not ever going to die from my pains... But what is there? Just pain killers.... lots and lots of them. They help to dull it a little, but its never gone.
Both me and my mum suffer from Fibro. I recently discovered that her mum (my gran) had Fibrositis which was the old name for Fibro. She had little lumps in her muscles too like I do. I have one in my knee, it likes to move around when you poke it!
It seems to run in the girls huh! Which scares me, what if, when I have a little girl. Will she be in pain too?
OMG being pregnate and having Fibro... That will be interesting! haha
Anyway ...Shortly after I went to see the physioterrorists who showed me my limits, what I can and cant do. Now that was depressing....
I work as a deputy store manager and in my spare time (if I'm lucky) I like to take the odd photograph. Photography is my passion, my canvas.
It makes me sad that I don't have the energy to do it more. My camera is very heavy..
Its been very hard coming to terms with it and I've had to give up a lot of things I love. I can no longer play musical instruments because the repetitive movements kill me. So I recently sold all my instruments as It made me sad to look at them. I used to look rocking out of the drums but it slowly got harder and harder...
I move very veryyy slowly and spend a lot of time lounging around and sleeping. That's why people call me sloth. They too always have a slight smile on their faces
Did you know... Sloths move so slowly that they turn green because moss grows on them.
I'm not Green... yet!
Every day is a battle, some days I win better than others. Sometimes it's a sharp jabbing sensation, other times a dull, miserable ache that wears me down. It burns... nobody should have to feel this much pain... And just because you cant see it doesn't mean its not there. Don't ever let people tell you other wise!
I'm often hit with overwhelming tiredness and get brain fog... or 'fibro fog' as it's called. Because I am unable to get into the important level of sleep I take months to heal, become very forgetful and often slur my words. Its very frustrating, I know what I want to say but it never comes out right. It makes me look so thick... So stupid... But I know I'm not! So I tend to stay quiet, so not to embarrass myself.
...I'm always so very veryy tired *yawn*
Because I look healthy and try to kept up with my responsibilities, which is becoming more and more difficult, a lot of people don't believe that I am suffering like I am. Some even say it's "all in my head" or that I'm lazy and trying to avoid work!
I've worked for my company for 4 years now. They always new I was slow and found things difficult, but since being diagnosed things have gotten even harder. They want rid.
It's all so hard and I hate not being able to do things. Even the simplest of tasks are near impossible. My Boyfriend is a saint for putting up with me!