hi all I've made a mistake of thinking my relationship would work .and now. I'm stuck I've got my flat still but I've moved some large items to my fellas flat and its not working but I'm to scared to tell him and also I need help with stuff so I need to try and get the council to move me near my daughter but they not interested I'm scared and deprest and keep thinking about doing something to myself I'm so tired of trying to cope xxx

15 Replies

  • Just my opinion, but I would write off the stuff. Your peace of mind seems more important than any property you might lose.

  • thanks Claire but I have 45 years of stuff and some is important to me but that's not the problem my problem is trying to get the council to move me near my daughter I'm on high rate pip on both parts and need help that's my problem x

  • Wow, OK, I agree. That is a big part of what *is* your life then. I wish I had anything more to offer but having never been in your situation, I don't. I hope others here will.

  • Hi really sorry to hear your somewhere where you don't want to be and feeling so low. To be honest Clare is kinda right items are replaceable in comparison to your well being. I would if you could if supposing hes the kinda person who wont get violent or abusive towards you. but id let him know its only fair or he may try to mend things or make you happy when you don't want him too and the strain and stress for you both will be come more than now. If you were given a leaving date should you separate, and a letter given to you to say when your going to be homeless this will give the council a duty of care to offer some means of housing even if its on the private listings they keep or a bid on their properties. Any illnesses will help your cause too. So sorry for this happening to you and only hope and answer comes your way . xx

  • Hello Dawn,

    Sorry to hear that you are going through all you are.

    Have you thought about looking ether online or in local paper for 'A man with a Van' to help with any larger things you need to move, if your able to ?

    Also get in touch with your local MP, I know every time I have contacted mine he has been fantastic and helped me. Also maybe your Daughter doing the same as well as any local charities. I would like to think that have a family connection with your health issues would count in your favour. (Although I don't know if it does). Hope it helps somehow.

    If there is else anything I can think of I will of course let you know.

    Hoping today finds you a little better than yesterday.

    Blessings Be


  • IDK what an MP in the UK is (here it means Military Police and I imagine that's not what you mean :) )

    One alternative we do have here and I don't know if it is available there would be one thing I did use very many years ago to get property release, especially since the apartment was actually in my name and I had payed the last rent on it.

    The police escorted me into the apartment while I had my things removed. And even when he disputed some of them, the cops took my side since they knew he was a thief, and incidentally a drug addict. IDK how I got involved with such a guy. Sigh, the innocence and vulnerability of youth.

    Another legal means I used was a small claims suit. This covers property claims up to $1,000 US. After that, it is a matter for the attorney general and a truwe lawsuit, charging the other person with theft. In order to file my small claims, I went to the court advice office which was free, learned my rights, and how to file. There are many alternatives for free attorneys if you are indigent or have a low income. These at least are offered here, and given that the UK has socialized medical care, I wonder if you might have such benefits.

    I have no idea really if any of the above alternatives would helpo you anyway, but maybe. I hope you solve this situation one way or another, as the stress of it and the fear and possibble reality of being homeless is pretty horrible (though there are ways to get back on your feet; none too appetizing I imagine) and frightening.

    I truly wish you the best with this. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. Well, actually, I nearly lost my home when the recession began, and my fiancee and I were forced to consider what the alternatives to homelessness might be. It took over two years to get this straightened out with the bank, and I had to get intervention from my US Senator to get it moved along and have me moved to the bank's executive office to get it done.

    At any rate, it does seem to me that you need legal advice.

    Big hugs and good luck!

  • MP = member of parliament about same as Senator

  • Ha on me. I should have known tha! Thanks Ian.

  • thanks x

  • ahh thank you x

  • Can you move back to your own flat and contact local social services, they can then assess your needs and liase with local authority re moving you if is best for yor needs.

  • I'm to scared to tell my fella x

  • Hi dawnlancaster

    I am so sorry to read of your predicament and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution to the issue. I agree completely with Shazzy about contacting Social services and getting yourself an Occupational Health Assessment, as this could help you get a move.

    As for your furniture, I would be tempted to pay somebody else to sort it out as MKMale suggested? Or contacting your local Community Voluntary Service and see if they have a team that can do the job for you? You should be able to find your local Community Voluntary Service in either the phone book or online.

    I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and I genuinely hope that you can find the answers that you so desperately desire and deserve.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • Hi Dawn, I feel so sorry for you, I would imagine that you've got to this state in a blink of an eye, so quickly that you haven't had time to think! Firstly, nothing is too bad where you have those 'thoughts' what would your daughter do? Secondly, nothing is built in stone, if you don't want to go with that man then don't. Thirdly there is help out there, Ken mentioned Occupational Health, they helped me get a new bathroom, a pulley on my bed and stools and grab handles, you get the idea?! The bathroom was installed in record time and the new flooring alone must have cost a bomb and it's all fantastic just what I needed. If you can get letters off your own doctor and the occupational health person they will go along way to help you get nearer your daughter. I've just had another thought if you tell them (the council) that if you don't get a move that you will be wanting some help off them! Which is totally true you will need help and surely it would be better for them to move you nearer to your daughter then to find the funding themselves for your upcoming health care! I'll just touch on 'your man' problem, you will need help in the future, but is this man the one that you want to see you like that? If he's 'the one' of course you will, if your having doubts tell him that you want to move nearer your daughter and go from there, give yourself some much needed thinking time. It's your life Dawn go in the direction what's best for you, it's time to be a bit selfish!

    I really hope that things work out for you, huge hugs, Su xx

  • hi thank you I'm going to do it x

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