I think I've had a bit of epiphany(spelling?) overnight thanks to my 16 year old daughter. I went to see her teachers yesterday(she is doing a levels). She is doing very well and I was incredibly proud of her. It was a big achievement for me to go as I was feeling awful in myself and I kept thinking that she is coping with all this and I can't cope with one day a week at college. However at 3 this morning she came into my bedroom having a panic attack that she couldn't cope,bless her. I got her to calm down and this morning I realised she is suffering from lack of self belief then I realised that's exactly what has happened to me. Over the years my self belief has got less and less especially since having fibromyalgia.
So I am going to try to build my self belief back up again. I know it's not going to happen overnight but if I can make it my goal to work towards I think that can only be a good thing. I'm going to use what happened with my course tutor as a way of learning how to cope again. If I can learn to cope with someone so challenging instead of running away like I usually do then I can become stronger.
I've already changed my therapy session so I don't have it the day before I have college(just too many emotions one on top of the other).
I going to use this blog to help me keep my eyes on my goal. It's going to be a journey but I'm sure it will be worth it. Thank you to everyone who is supporting me.