My Thursday good and bad ,gossip,Eye specialist and work

[Shadows-walker]

Hi everyone well saw the ophthalmologist yesterday ,he has said I now have blepharitis so more treatment is necessary ,starting to feel is it ever going to stop , I was all smiles had a really good morning met up with a friend by accident in the street when I pop down to the shops.she took me for a tea and welsh cake and we sat and had a good welsh gossip for a good hour popped in the jewellers as I had a ring to pick up and the jeweller took one look at my hand saw my grans wedding ring on my hand and told me to get it off quick if I could because my hands were swollen so much that she felt if they went up anymore the ring would have to be cut off I have it resized 3 times in a year I am not going to stop wearing it but this blasted body is really getting to me today anyway .i on impulse bought my daughter Xmas present on my flex able friend so I can put it in her case and it's small enough that she won't spot it ,anyway I left the jewellers and bumped into another friend and she insisted on taking me for another cup of tea so again like a good welsh woman we went into another cafe and had another gossip so I left the house at 9.30 and got back12.30 ,meanwhile back at home I had a worried daughter as I had left her in bed and I had left my phone at home ,so I got home to a worried daughter who told me off but understood I had had a lovely morning ,the afternoon my driver turned up to take me to hospital and off I went do any of you go blank when doctors ask you you symptoms and what effects you the most I can talk on here about my symptoms and I remember everything but I go to a hospital and I forget, the old me kicks in I witter on about everything about anything other than me and my symptom I play everything down I am so stupid some times . anyway I told you the out come of the vist I didn't tell how sore and itchie dry gritty painful my eyes get Just complained about not being able to wear my contacts ,I am so annoyed with myself , then I am in 30 mins and personnel manager rings and they want me in next Thursday for meeting about getting me back to work by the 21st the occupational nurse told me that she felt there was nothing they could do to get me back by then so why do they need to see me and that I need a rep with me and the union rep I have been using hasn't finished his course and do I want someone else with me ,I have said I will stick with the chap I know as I like him and trust him I hope I have done the right thing ,I know they have a job to do and I am starting to have good days now but I don't won't to put myself back by being bullied into something I know deep down will make me really unwell again and I truly believe it's wrong for me to go back I have always put everyone but me first I have never been very good at fighting for me I know I am going to get so stressed again and I am am quite scared about what all this is going to do to my body .ever felt that your life is spinning out of control in every way and there's nothing at all you can do I think I"ll put my head back in the sand I think I used to be an ostrich Chris

[Hidden]

Oh I fully understand that feeling, I have spent many years looking for a nice deep cosy hole that I can hide in.

Still looking. They keep finding me.

I hope that you can bring your head up from the sand soon and that things will soon be sorted.

Now take a deep breath and make a cup of tea and you can join me while I finish off my cold coffee.

Hugs sue xx

[Shadows-walker in reply to Hidden]

Thank you my daughter packed me off to bed 5 hours ago as started running a temp and my head feels as if there is a axe in it , if I find a nice hole I'll let all my HU friends know and anyone who wants to join me can thanks for the hugs sue much appreciated Chris x

[rosewine]

Glad you had a nice natter at least. My best friend is Welsh and she is a lovely natterer! If you do find a hole can I join you I am a good digger. I now take a list of symptoms with me when seeing the doctor as I always seem to go blank on what I wanted to say, isn't it always the way and then as you say you could kick yourself when you come out.

I know it is terrible about the work thing. I had to give up a job I loved about four and a half years back because of illness and I dreaded everytime I had to go in there with another note even though I knew I was genuine. I think you should stick with the representative you feel trust in as that can make such a difference. Try to breathe calmly as too much stress can only make our symptoms worse. Good luck with everything, warm hugs.x

[Shadows-walker in reply to rosewine]

Thanks your very welcome to join me as soon as I find the appropriate whole , I have been in bed most of the day slept for 5 hours straight ,my poor daughter said that I scared her a bit as although she knows now that is what I do these days I get a headache and temp and I am out for the count ,she's only been home after I have been like this and getting over it ,just hope I sleep tonight think I will but you know this is like ,I had the report through from there occ health department and she has said I won't be ready for work,so apparently I will have to have at least one more meaning after this one with the store manager after this one ah well ,I just have to get over it ,take care Chris x

[TheAuthor]

Hi Shadows-walker

I am so sorry to read that you are having such unnecessary pressure placed on you this way. Please do not let them force you into something that you simply cannot do! As for being an Ostrich, please remember that you are an amazing and wonderful person who deserves better than what you are being afforded!

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

[Shadows-walker in reply to TheAuthor]

Thanks ken x

[Ginsing]

Morningk

Having read your post twice, I have such empathy for your situation. It seems that the very thought of returning makes you feel dreadful. Well I think that says something rather loudly - doesn't it!

Even though you are feeling better do you think it is time you left and spend some time getting yourself in a much better place physically and mentally.

Yes why don't you leave?

thinking of you-

xgins

[Shadows-walker in reply to Ginsing]

I have been told by CAB not to resign as I won't get any help if I do ,I have no one to support me so I am afraid I have to let them do there thing regardless, but thanks, I think I am having a small flare at moment again tummy playing up etc.I am noting a pattern I have GP appointment on Monday so am going to talk to him about it thank you for advise, I would of left 2 years ago if I could of but life has a way of running away I have been looking for another job but there is nothing else where I live I had hoped I could be retrained but the optholmoligist told me that to much use on computer would not be good for my eyes so physically I can't do that much and office work seems out now as well I am not sure what that leaves ! Chris x