Well looks like I am going to be let go !

Hi had occupational health on phone this afternoon for phone interview ,she was really nice understood how unwell I am , and I had to agree with her that it looks like I won't be going back to work ,because it is quite physical and there is nothing they can do to adapt my working conditions to make it that I can , so what do I do now feel a bit afloat :-(

44 Replies

  • I am sorry, It is a major wrench leaving your job and can take quite a while to get used to. Is there a new hobby or any thing that you have always wanted to do but never had the time. Learning to use a computer was my life saver. It took my mind off things and taught me something useful.

    I would still go back in a shot if I could but I know that cant happen.

    If you are stuck for ideas try pinterest I find it relaxing going through other peoples pins and then pinning anything interesting onto my own boards.

    you will be ok it just takes time. Hugs sue xx

  • I do patchwork and quilting and am art collage trained ,I love doing that but my fatigue is that I run out of energy , and my hands arnt working well at moment which is one of my greatest frustration I use a stylis for my I pad but typing with my fingers is too painful after time , I'll be all right it just dawned on me when I saw your post hit me like a ton of bricks as my grandad would say . Just a bit shocked I suppose . Thanks sue x

  • The trick to doing needlework is to make sure that your arms are supported on cushions and do a bit a time. I am working on a Doctor Who x stitch at the moment

    and am finding keep getting lost as to where im at blooming irritating. Dratted fog. :O

  • I am really impressed with the fact you do x stitch ,my daughter did a linear one of Audrey Hepburn I am awe ,I wouldn't no where to start , most of my quilting is hand , but it's usually big bed quilts. I have to get used to doing things small , I am going to friends tonight the first evening out in 6 months just hope I don't fall asleep :-) but I am only going for a couple of hours , thanks for the support ,Chris

  • Do you ever use £1 shops? They often have the x stitch kits in them. I buy them for the cottons and aida fabric. They also come with instructions.. sue

  • Don't tell Mr Ken, he'll be over to see how you're getting on

  • Hugs. I had to leave my job as it was too physical. You probably will feel very at sea for a time but you will adapt and find things that fill your life.

    Gentle hugs


  • Thank you sorry for late response been a bit under the weather, it is proberly for the best I had a lot of hopes for that job but because of my condition it became a very a great disappointment for me , I think if they ran there business differently and actually practised what they preach which is treat people the way you want to be treated I would of been able to continue but when they don't enforce that throughout that from the top down , it turns into a me culture and what's in it for the individual they keep cutting staff and not replacing them but expect the same amount of work done , when I started there there were 14 people in my department , when I went off sick there were 7 they have been running on 5 since jan and the odd bit of overtime for staff from other departments from what I understand , I am proberly best out of it any way thanks again for support x

  • I hope so ,thank you for replying and support sorry it took so long to respond been a bit off colour ,and now trying to answer all support post it's appreciated ,x

  • Hi, I am almost in the same boat being very close to losing my job. I am fortunate in that my health is reasonable at the moment, but faced with losing my job its a small consolation. I cannot answer your questions though. I hope you get some good advice. People keep prompting me towards Citizens Advice so maybe you could start there? Good luck and soft hugs

  • Thank you sorry for late response been a bit under the weather , I am taking advise take to x

  • Hi Shadows-walker

    I am so sorry to read that you are going to have to finish your job, and I hope that you an find something that appeals to you? Are you thinking of trying to claim ESA or PIP? I have pasted you the how to claim links below:



    I want to wish you all the bets of luck, and I can imagine that you are feeling somewhat deflated and at a lost end at the moment? Hopefully, this will only be a temporary matter, and that you can find something for YOU?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thanks ken , I applied for pip in march have had a letter saying they will be in touch with an assessment I get sick pay till august I think , they wanted me back in work for the 21 st July but was told by rhummie he would see me again in 4 months 2 weeks ago and both he and GP said no work and to be honest I couldn't do anyway , it's proberly for the best it's just a bit of a shock ,I am used to doing . Thanks for response , chris x

  • Of course, I remember now as you posted about it. (my memory is getting awful). At least if you are on sick pay for now, it may be easier to apply for ESA if you need to? As it sounds like your GP may back you?

    Take care

    Ken x

  • hi Shadow-walker,

    I lost my job last july and like you i was'nt sure what i'd do.

    This year i've filled my garden with pots and hanging baskets, i've even got the table and chairs, i love to plod round the garden doing a little bit every day i've never had a lovely garden so its something new for me to enjoy..

    Good luck on your new adventure and be kind to yourself...

    Gentle hugs xx

  • Hi yes I have done a bit round my garden , I moved in here 5 weeks before I became un well , and other than really cutting the grass and buying odd pot plant had done nothing as I have been home since jan , I have for the last 8 weeks had a man in to cut grass and tidy it up he has been charging in me between 5 and 7 £ an hour when he comes as he knows I am unwell everybody else he charges £9'. And my garden is starting to look lovely my daughter put gazebo up so I don't get to much sun and I planted sunflowers and poppie seedlings on window sill and sweet peas and I had a lovely time putting them in pots can't sew yet but I am hoping that comes back in time so yes I am like you starting to find time to enjoy the things around me that I had no energy to do when I was working but like you say just a little at a time I basically am remembering how to live and enjoy my life all be it in some pain thank you again for your support and kind words .chris x

  • So sorry to hear that you probably won't be able to return to your job. I unfortunately was in the same position a few years back and had to leave a job I adored but eventually I have been able to adjust to a different way of life. Do claim for ESA when your Sick pay runs out. Good luck with PIP. Kind thoughtsx

  • Thank you everyone for your kind words , been out this evening for a few hours with friends it's called Wednesday ladies , didn't really talk about illness just nater about summer memory's once a month we have a topic , I haven't been since December felt a bit strange I am getting to look well again now few asked about diagnosis and work so briefly explained and although felt some understood there was one who didn't and just sees me as young got told it was something I ate when mentioned tummy issues ,made me feel like a malingra don't know if that's me and my own head and insecurities or fact, my daughter tell me that the person who doesn't understand and makes me feel uncomfortable simply cannot understand because my pain is only my own and because she is preoccupied with her own health issues anyone else arnt as important ,she doesn't mean to hurt me .its something I just have to get used to it . It's just been a rough day ,also she doesn't understand why my daughter came home to look after me sorry I just needed to get this off my chest I have to toughen up xx

  • You shouldn't have to toughen up. But do try to be a duck and let it wash over you. Its not worth worrying about. You have enough worries but at least some try to understand. I'm busy fighting to keep my job at the moment but think its a losing battle. Preparing for the end. Getting advice on best way out. Soft hugs.

  • Is that you at the other end of this boat. I'm in a losing battle too. Support one side but not on the crucial one :(

  • Seems so. Do you know where the life belts are? They always seem to be somewhere else! Wishing you gentle seas and soft, billowy clouds.

  • Atos nicked them.

    Likewise. It's all so unfair, isn't it, but let's not let them get to us.

    Hugs all round.

  • Hi shadows walker. Im so sorry to hear you are in this positon. Im exactly the same. Ive only been off work 2 weeks at the min but my employer has already rang me 3 times and want me to come in for a meeting. I know i cant put it off much longer and had been thinkjng of resigning 2 weeks ago but got some very good advice from members on here about not resigning. I think my employer wants me out the door very quickly. I kne how you feel its scary. Ive been with my employer 18 years but im sure i wont be for much longer.. wishing you all the best. X

  • Thanks I had to go in for a meeting after about 6 weeks , it was very informal but it was a fishing expedition on there part they wanted me back in 1 hour a day ,but doctors said no, I have listened to them my attitude has been I want to get better ,I have had a number of calls from them and by law they can ring you every day and you have to keep them informed which I have every time I get information or see GP I have texted them or called as instructed ,I can walk across a room now without getting out of breath , but I contacted CAB I have listened to my fibro and lupus friend and taken there advise there a brilliant lot . The CAB said let them make (your employers ) make all the moves it's stressful but if you resign you won't get any help , my employers have written to my doctor ,and my GP said what they wrote was rubbish if GP tells you your not well enough to work listen to them they have your best interest at heart , I am fed up this morning I think if it wasn't for the support from this site I would be in tears ,but at least I now there are decent people out there who care for me who total strangers to me , what I think I really find strange is that I get more support on my fibro and lupus site than I do from my able body friends , my friends try but they don't get it , I have one who I know is really dismissive of my condition she is part of my group of friends I saw them yesterday she hasn't visted my house since I have been off sick and had the cheek to tell me in front of everybody that bowel issues are down to what I ate , and every body get upset tummy . I just let it go ,I can't really see my other friends without her so I am a bit stuck sorry for the moan she just got to me x thank you so much for the support I hope you get on ok , but don't resign let them do all the work they have processes they have to abide by it's not nice for us , but it's the way it is take care Chris x

  • Hi Chris it is very stressful for us all,especially when we want to work but cant. Your employer sounds very much like mine fishing and trying to pressurise us back to work. Im glad you are taking your friends advice, but as far as that other friend goes people are ignorant to what we are going through and to be honest alot of them dont really want to know. I had returned to work in jan this year after 11 weeks off with adjustments so that i why i think my employer wont wait too long to dismiss me. Ive been fighting to stay in my job the past 7 years.. but its time to say our health is more important. I have colleagues that really peeved me off by talking about me because i didnt attend a birthday party a few weeks ago.they said i could have went to the party and just sat there!! Even though they have seen me practically crawl out of wrk after a shift exhaused and in pain.. but hey i should have ran hme got on my glad rags..forget about the pain and heavy meds im on and get in the mood and drink!!!! Ive been working with them years so it sometimes makes you feel as if they dnt believe you!!

    My manager said to me the other day on the phone that i didnt need to tske my doctors advice!!! This is what we are up against!!!

    I hope everything works out for you also but please keep in touch anytime you need a rant even pm me. Im waiting on a atos visit for dla that i applied for 8 months ago and am so stressdd about it also along with work. I cant get my pain controlled but hopefully i will soon. Take care mags xx

  • Yes I had the comment that I didn't have to listen to my GP ,but did you know if you don't and something happens in work your not insured and any company benefits you were entitled to go out the window because we went against medical advise , so don't let them bully you because that is basically what they are doing when all this is finished I will let you know who I am working for , I can't at the moment as they monitor tha internet and have program that if there name is mentioned it flags up they are one of the big boys sounds a bit paranoid but they have made us sign documents when they employ you that if you write anything on social media and the management don't like it it's instant dismissal big brother really is watching no freedom of speech, anyway I am off to pick up my daughters 21 st birthday present which is something pretty and fits in a small box that I had to have made bigger also picking up my rings as they have had to be made 2 and 3 time bigger because if this damn condition ps how do you pm on this site ? Fluffies and hugs to you thank you again for support xxchris

  • Hi chris i didnt know we wouldnt be covered by insurance. Also same as you mine are 1 of the big boys. Sounds lovely your daughters present. Im sure she will love it. Dont worry about having to have your rings made bigger.as long as you get your health up abit. Im hoping the pain management programme can help me. I was supposed to start in june but its been put back until sept by the psychologist. I hope you can njoy some of ur day out. Im not surr how to pm on this but will chk and let you knw x

  • Hi Mags, I take it you are not in a union? Well whether you are or not you are entitled to have someone with you for meetings and when you are ill they should not be hassling you at home! Make sure you have your sickness notes from your doctor and explain to your boss you will be in when you are able. If you want them to come to you, you could suggest that and make sure you have a friend with you, to support you so you are not bullied! Might be an idea to contact Citizens Advice about your rights. That's what I am trying to do at the moment as my work want me out. They have been trying since September 2011 but there are equality laws so they cannot just kick you out. You are classified as disabled with FM which means you have a stronger case too. They have to go through two verbal warnings and two written, but take steps 1-4 to get there! Do try and get some help. Soft hugs

  • Hi sarah-jane i am sorry you are going through a similar situation with work. I do have a union but my employer does not recognise them,but i intend to have them with me from now on at any meetings. My work want me out also as ive struggled for 7 years to keep my absence to a level that is acceptable. But recently ive been having a bad time with fatique.pain and lack of concentration. I need to go back to lie dwn within an hour of getting up as i average about 2 hours sleep a night and my meds make me feel exhausted also. Im waiting to go to a pain mngt programme in sept which i hope will help me. Even slightly. I hope you get help from citizens advice. Its awful when we have to deal with work issues aswell as all the other stuff from our health. Stay strong with your employer also and dont let them push you out!! Gentle hugs xx

  • Hi Shadows-walker :)

    So sorry to hear that and hope that with time you will find another job :)

    I also worked manual jobs and know what it feels like when your body can't do it anymore. If it's not the pain it's the fatigue and I had to mutually decide too when I left my last ever proper job in 2004 as I was becoming unreliable and the company needed to employ someone who could do the job, so I chose to go.

    I was in the dark place for a while I must admit but I did fight back and started pain management etc to help me.

    It all takes time I know! and I wish you wellness and hope you can figure something out.

    Fluffies and smiles

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Yes well consultant told me he'd get me well enough to work he's instructed GP to get me in a pain management course ,he's really doing everything he can to help me but the NHS doesn't work fast enough for my employers :-( but they don't please everyone , you no I looked in the mirror this morning and I look so healthy , but I do a little bit of house work and I break out in a cold sweat and I am huffin and puffin like the big bad wolf :-( never mind I am smiling my blue badge arrived this morning and my bathroom equipment arrives tomorrow :-) so thing arnt that bad I am not going to worry about things I have no control over I have decided that is my new motto at least for today-thanks for your kind words fluffies and xx to you to :-) x

  • I agree about the NHS not working fast enough :( but am pleased that your doc and consultant are helping you :) I have terrible patience with certain things and not just waiting for buses :o

    I have waited 4 months for a podiatry appointment went to the first one for assessment then the second but had to leave for an emergency doc appointment before getting in now I have to be re-referred :( typical!! :(

    Anyhoo! there is always someone here listening and it is ok to have a good rant as it's good to get things off our chests :)

    I'm smiling with you for tomorrow enjoy your gadgets :)

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Thank you x

  • Apply for your disability. That's all any of us can do. Best of luck sweetheart!!!! xxxx Mitzi

  • Thank you for your support and kind words x

  • Hi I know exactly how you feel. I am doing my best for the fibro not to get the better of me but it is getting really hard to work now it takes all my strength so you are not on your own,take care kim x

  • Thank you , I worked till I dropped please don't work yourself into the ground like I did ,remember to be kind to yourself I basically have been in denial about the fibro part of my illness till I couldn't walk across I room now I can still walk but I go so slow you would swear I was 80 not 50's be careful your employer isn't going to care in the long run once you arnt there anymore they won't give you a second thought I have observed this with mine anyway . I am starting to find myself again now just a slower version which I must admit is really frustrating because my brain still wants me to work at 100 mile an hour and my body goes at 1 and I know this coz my scooter goes at 4 LOL .i think my brain ache is the frustration of everything in the cue waiting to get done :-) look after yourself and be kind to your body as I have found out the hard way you tend to lose it if you don't :-( take care Christina x

  • Sorry to be slow responding and not much help either. If someone is determined to get rid of you they will. I have occy health on side too but if there's no other role, then that's it. The job situation isn't brilliant and I've been looking for alternatives for a while, so I'll just wish you lots of luck and the small comfort knowing you're not alone by a long way. "retraining" is a kind of option, do you have any transferrable skills? A tired phrase but it's surprising what can go over into another post when you think there's little to offer.

  • I can't see me moving to another department ,I live in a very rural part of mid Wales I know there will be no work for me in another dept here as there offices are down South which is what the doctor thinks I should be doing , I have been art college , I have run a small gallery and I have worked as a kitchen designer and retail ,I have been told I should work for cadu which the welsh equivalent to heritage society , I am sure in time I can find something . Thanks for all the support again. Chris x

  • I sincerely hope you can. I work in an area that is comparatively wealthy and I have 5000 colleagues, but the openings are few and far between. :) x

  • Well I've been caught mentioning the word 'work' on Facebook, by my work, but I have copied the relevant message and my Facebook page, neither of which mention where I work! As its only my friends who view, obviously ones a rat! Yes its good to rant on here - at least we are not rats!

  • Yes you have to be careful ,sounds like you work for someone like me it's arwful isn't it when I finish I will explain where I work ,I won't be mentioning any names till then they are awfully worried about there public image . We have no freedom of speech when it comes to work do we ,I don't say anything to anyone I work with I just explain what's wrong with me if I see anyone and keep it very light ,as it have seen how they are about other people and there not kind and I don't need the stress . X

  • Go for it. Facebook is very much a double edged sword. You have to keep track of your "friends" and it's easy to forget where they all are. I know someone who came close to losing his job and wife over, shall we say, "ill advised" posts. We're not rats here and it may be best to keep your anonymity, which is why there's very little on my public profile.

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