Hi I am getting in a stew ,starting to stress ,

Hi morning I am starting to stress , I have 3 phone calls to make ,one to clame ESA , one to the bank to release some money which I don't won't to do as it was suppose to be for my old age ! Which shouldn't be now but it is (52) I don't feel that in my head I still feel in my 20s but my body is 70 on a bad day I assume as that's the age group I keep up with now I have maxed out my credit card and to scared to check the bank :-( I know I am lucky as I can rectifie the situation but if I had been fit I would be touching it yet :-( and the third is CAB who changed my point meant to a phone call yesterday but they didn't call :-( , also I had a letter from my employers telling a week last (sat ) that I had a meeting with employers to meet with my base manager and that the meeting may come to the conclusion that I would have my employment terminated :-( now there is a huge part of me that says hey that's ok as I can't manage the job anyway and it makes me miserable and I feel like I have been put through the wringer every day and no I don't enjoy it . But there is a little bird sitting on my shoulder saying you have to work your lucky to have a job ! Hell how are you going to manage ? can you survive on benefits ,once I remove the money from my account I will have enough to claim I have been using my savings to survive this last 6 months , my store personal manager rang earlier and they won't me in tomorrow at 11.30 I am sick to my stomach I am trying to be ok but I am not what the hell am I going to do I am scared I don't scared where do I start ? I think I clean the kitchen, when I get anxious I clean but now due to my stupid body I can't work off my fear and pretend things arnt happening my body won't let me so I can't escape in my head I know there are links but is there anybody out there on these benefits ,? Is it really hard to manage what's the average you get a month to live off with these pip ,ESA ,and housing benifits am I in real trouble here will I lose my home . ??? See that's my head today wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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  • Phew a lot to do in one day. Pace yourself, work out what is the most urgent and most important. Get yourself a glass of water and notes of what you want to say, what you want to find out and do it. Then give yourself a treat - listen to some music, watch or read something fun. Have a cup of coffee and cake -what ever. Then start on the next thing on your list.

    You will manage on benefits but you do need to plan. Your nest egg is for when you need it, you thought it would be when you are older but it is now. Something will turn up in the future and only 52 the rules will change by the time you are 65+ .

    Get as much free advice as you can, do you have a union where your work. Are you able to do a different job? My sister was made redundant from an engineering job after having a brain ameureum / stroke and went to the wool shop for some wool. They offered her a job which she loves.

    Lots of gentle hugs, be kind to yourself and you will get through it.

  • Phew a lot to do in one day. Pace yourself, work out what is the most urgent and most important. Get yourself a glass of water and notes of what you want to say, what you want to find out and do it. Then give yourself a treat - listen to some music, watch or read something fun. Have a cup of coffee and cake -what ever. Then start on the next thing on your list.

    You will manage on benefits but you do need to plan. Your nest egg is for when you need it, you thought it would be when you are older but it is now. Something will turn up in the future and only 52 the rules will change by the time you are 65+ .

    Get as much free advice as you can, do you have a union where your work. Are you able to do a different job? My sister was made redundant from an engineering job after having a brain ameureum / stroke and went to the wool shop for some wool. They offered her a job which she loves.

    Lots of gentle hugs, be kind to yourself and you will get through it.

  • Hi I cleaned my kitchen cupboards and made a call to bank one down ,need to clean again ,waiting on call back can't use phone now till they do as mobile net work down relying on one phone thanks for advise head still spinning ,I can do things for other but I seem to go to pieces these days when it's me who's in need ah!

  • clean cupboards are good. Talking about cupboards my husband away at the moment and he put all the tins of tomatoes on the top shelf and I can't get too them. ended up going to shops to buy some more, was trying to knock one down with a wooden spoon but seems dangerous as I am not great at catching.

    Inspired by you I also rang my new bank to find out why new account was taking so long to open, seems they could not get a reply to their letter to Barclays about me which is not surprising as I have never banked with Barclays. They insist that I said that I did but does mean I need to do all the forms again.

  • Wonderful have you noticed when banks make mistakes it's always your fault ,last week boots messed up my priscriptions ,they also messed up the repeat the month before when my daughter collected them , I excepted the mistake was my daughters they said she had not requested it be repeated but when I went down and re requested it they re requested one out of 6 items and tryed to make out I hadn't requested all 6 which I have every month but it's always are fault ,yet if you work for the company I work for we get it in the neck when we really haven't done anything never mind another rant over with good luck with the forms , I have sorted out bank ,sort the meeting out tomorrow ,and try and do the other phone calls if I am up to it tomorrow ,I also summer cleaned my side board and sorted out a box of bits something I have put off for ages. Anyway thanks for the support Chris x

  • 99% of my job is dealing with HMRC and so I am usually very laid back over large organisations and deciding when to protest.

    When my local chemist mucked up repeat prescription I got them to lend me a week supply which was offset against the one they put in.

    As to the bank at the moment my husband is paying for everything so no hurry on that ;-))

    Well done Chris on the sideboard but make sure you do one of the unpleasant tasks each day and then they will get down. If you don't start then you won't finish.

  • Thanks I have I got the bank done today ,my daughter nagged me till I did it ,my managers meeting tomorrow morning ,and I will ring ESA tomorrow afternoon ,at least tomorrow I will know if I still have a job I think I had a Minnie melt down this morning :-( .i have learnt on the whole not to stress believe it or not ,but this morning I couldn't keep it together ,I feel better this evening ,I have a collegue off with a bad back she lives round the corner from me ,she has been off work. 3 days less then me and every time the personnel manager makes an appointment to meet with her she cancels yet she goes out to clubs ,she goes on hen party's ,she is going to Liverpool on a mini holiday on a break and she walks her dog 3 times a day yet they have not sent her a letter like mine , I really don't get it . Take care Chris

  • Oh that must be so annoying, I think with backs it is very difficult to disprove that people are not hurt. Also perhaps your work understand backs more.

    My sons are very good at giving me advise, I had a friend who really use to bring me down and youngest asked me why I did not like my friend. I realised she was a stress giver / emotional vampire so stopped calling her. much happier.

    Meeting friend in town for coffee on thursday so will go to bank for forms then.

    •Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. John F. Kennedy

  • My friend is really nice I just am not as forcefull as her she stands her ground and seems to know her rights and doesn't care what they throw at her , I love your quotes there really good and thought provoking , enjoy your coffee with your friend on Thursday x

  • Hi Betty just to let you know I have been let go due to ill health , with the proviso that if and when I am well enough to work again ,I can knock on the door of my manager and he will look after me I don't have to apply and to keep in touch with them ,it's the third time in 26 years he's made this offer so I think I might have a light and I am not on the scrap heap ,thank you for the support yesterday my heads a bit sore but daughter has made me a cup of tea x

  • Things work out but we can't always see the end we just have to trust. Tell your daughter to put in an extra bag and I join you. Sound like your work like you so that is good, and now you can concentrate on getting better. Not on the scrap heap but being re-recycled. X

  • I like that re-cycled I will use that with your permission and yes there's an extra bag in the pot how long will you be :-) Chris

  • Soon just making some biscuits to bring with me.

  • Ok any shortbread ?

  • Close not sure but I am avoiding wheat so made with ground almonds, I was so busy chatting this morning that I forgot to go to the shops before they closed for lunch so I made them from what was in the cupboard. Ground almond, very light olive oil, carob syrup and an egg. No scales so would never be able to make them again. My cooking is a bit like the old lady on the vicar of dibley but without the pilchards. In a rented property at the moment and don't even have a mixing bowl, so I do the mixing on a plate. I usually feel so much better here on Malta that I can put up with a lot and this place is affordable (cheap). If you still want some you are welcome ;-)

  • They sound lovely , I have a friend who make shortbread regularly we que at her front door ,I am hoping I get the baking bug again soon . I used to love the hot weather but finding it a bit hard this year ,I would of been off to borth to fly kites if I had been well ,fingers crossed next summers :-) are you living In Malta indefinitely ? My husbands grandfather was enquiry there after world war 2 enjoy your biscuits if you pop round to mid wales I put the kettle on and make some welsh cakes with nutmeg in like my nan x

  • been here since Feb, rented a place for 6 months and just told landlady I would like to stay for another 6 months. The heat here is lighter than it is in UK. When I came back in June the pain hit me at the airport by the time I reached the baggage claim. After a week pain was less but only as I was more use to it.

    real homemade welsh cakes would be lovely. My grandfather was here before WW2 understand it was his favourite posting. Also my uncle's wife (other side of my family) spent her childhood here, her father was attached to the navy.

  • Sorry I meant ex husband I must if been really tired earlier I have been divorced 6 years ,I can't believe I wrote husband .

  • Hey shadows-walker I am hun but I also get carers allowance for my son who is autistic so I'm on benefits which does help. Cos I get really stress and it doesn't help my fibro soft huggies,Ros xoxox

  • Hi thanks for the support yesterday ,I have been let go due to ill health with the proviso that if or when I improve I can knock on my bosses door and he will look after me still to make a couple of phone calls but I think I have done enough today x

  • Hi Shadows-walker

    I am so sorry to read that you are having to endure all of this pressure, stress and anxiety at this time, and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I have pasted you two links to the two main disability benefits, PIP and ESA, so I hope that you find them useful:

    gov.uk/employment-support-a...

    gov.uk/pip/how-to-claim

    Also remember that if you lose your employment then you will be able to claim other mainstream benefits such as income support or rent / council tax benefit, (if applicable) so please do not lose hope.

    I have also pasted you a link to the GOV.UK Disability Discrimination Act, as Fibro is a recognised disability.

    gov.uk/definition-of-disabi...

    I want to wish you all the bets of luck with your meeting and I sincerely hope that you find the answers that you desperately desire and deserve.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Hi ken got myself in a bit of a state earlier just started to panic ,watching a bit of TV with my daughter now , I just have to accept whatever happens I don't have a lot of choice really it's out of my hands consultant told me know work ,he said he would get me well enough to work but I am to listen to him and trust him so that is what I have to do , I feel quite well in myself but as I have said before I do so much and grind to a halt , I am doing very little as abbi won't let me ,she got cross with me today ,but everything I did do was paced and I sat down for a lot of it ,just tryed to keep calm and not over think things the person who I referred to earlier with the poorly back is unwell but I don't understand how she is able to get away with not attending meetings with our employer, anyway thanks for support x

  • Hi ken ,just to say thank you for yesterday ,I have been let go by my employers today which was what I was expecting ,but I can knock on the door of my manager when I am better and he will look after me and I am to keep in touch. He has made the same offer twice in 26 years of working for this company it's one of the big supermarkets by the way begins with T and ends in O ,I was really surprised by how kind he was ,he genuine meant it to , my head is banging as I had a few tears as I thought I would end up on scrap heap but there is still light at the end of tunnel x

  • Hi Shadow-walker

    I am so sorry to read that but your boss sounds very honest and genuine. Thank you so much for letting me know. I genuinely hope that you feel in a position to be able to return at some point in the future.

    Take care and good luck.

    Ken x

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