I have been alarmed and dismayed to see that a number of members who have recently posted say that they can’t take any more, feel like making an end of themselves, or that they may as well be dead.
It’s always distressing to hear that someone is in so much pain, emotional, physical or both that they feel the only way out is to take their own life. It used to be said that people who threaten suicide never do it, but sadly, I know from experience that they very often do!
My late husband drowned himself. There was little warning, although he had been threatening suicide for many years. He suffered bi-polar disorder, despite which he had always seemed cheerful enough. He had a very colourful personality, and everyone had become used to his threats, We thought he was just being dramatic.
Suddenly one day he was gone. He wrote a note saying that he could take no more – but he never specified what had grieved him so much. My daughter and I were left wondering why – whether it was something we had done, or not done – said or not said – the pain of not knowing was terrible!
It is known, also, that ‘para-suicide’ is not uncommon. The sufferer will overdose, but not hugely, or do something dangerous, but leave opportunity for someone to rescue them. To my mind, they are crying for help in a most extreme way – why were they unable to ask for the help they needed, and why did no one notice their distress? Unfortunately, these cries for help are often fatal.
No one should need to kill themselves. I guess most people who suffer a chronic, painful or disabling disease have had days when they didn’t particularly care if they ‘woke up dead’ the next morning, but things improve, pleasurable events come along, pain eases for a few days and we become strong enough to carry on.
Dead is forever. It gives you no chance of getting better, no further chance of love or joy, or laughter with your friends, no more chance of hugs with your children, your loved ones.
To anyone who feels like harming themselves, I say please call at once for help. Scream, shout, kick and yell until someone helps you – and they will!
Practical and emotional help is always available, tho’ I know it’s not always easy to access that help.
The link to Samaritans is often given on this forum. Please call them, they will know how to help, and as soon as possible see your GP and tell them how you feel. Patients are often too reticent with their doctors and don’t express how much they are really suffering.
Call an ambulance if you are truly desperate.
Talk to us on this site – we may sometimes offer weird and wonderful advice, but we all care, and we all share your pain. We can often suggest little ways in which you can make your life easier and better.
I just had a scare – I thought I had cancer, but it appears that I only have a stomach ulcer. My daughter too, was seriously ill in the summer, and has made a good recovery. These things have made me realise how very precious and fragile life is – even the wonky old life of someone with fibro and arthritis.
Your life is very precious too, so don’t even think of throwing it away – no matter how ill or desperate you are, you can be helped to feel better.
It might take time, but you’ll get there!
I am adding, yet again, the phone number for Samaritans. I don’t think it can be highlighted too often, as it can truly be a life-saver!
•08457 90 90 90* (UK)
•1850 60 90 90* (ROI)
Also online at samaritans.org
Love and comfort to you all ... Moffy