Summoned by HR - Update

So I finally had my meeting with HR on Friday. It didn't go well at all. They pretty much accused me of fudging my absence figures. I felt intimiated and bullied by the whole process and pointed out that them saying they weren't being didn't help as that was how I felt. Apparently they want to be able to support me (really?!) but also have to look at the interests for the firm (sounds threatening to me). Of course I burst into tears.

They had done absolutely no research into the condition (the HR guy said he kinda knew what it involved as he has worked with someone with ME at a previous firm - so that made it all better), so I had to explain the basics to them, the daily pain levels and what a flare is. When I told them you need 11 out of the 18 points on the body to be diagnosed with fibro and that I had all 18 they just looked at me blankly. I said that when I last saw my consultant I had just 14 of them they perked up and said "so you're getting better", I said no, just having a better day.

They didn't seem to grasp that I was actually doing well holding down a full time job.

They actually asked if fibro impacted on my personal life. I almost exploded at that point.....I told them that they don't see me trying to straighten up in the morning or put my feet flat or on the floor or that I often go home on Friday and don't go out of my front door until Monday morning.

They are also under the impression that the fluoxetine that I'm on is some miracle tablet and that I shouldn't be suffereing now that I'm on it.

When I suggested that I work an extra hour per day (for four days) and have Wednesday's off I got the "well I'm not sure that will help you we will have to look into this medically" and "how will it impact on the team" (I pointed out that my colleague worked 4 days a week just because she wanted to).

I also suggested that, as I was scared witless (and still am), at my first OH appointment I have another one and that they also do a proper desk assessement which they have failed to do in the past 6 months.

They asked if they could write to my GP and consultant - I said I had nothing to hide so yes they could.

Next step, apparently, is meeting to discuss what questions they will ask in the letter.

I feel totally stressed out by this. I had to meet my god daughter on Saturday evening for her birthday but spent all day up until 6 (when I had to get a shower and get out to meet her) in bed sleeping and all day yesterday in bed sleeping. Today I am at work, in agony, can't stop crying and wondering why the hell I'm putting myself out....

Sorry for the babbley rant, not sure it makes sense but I had to get it off my (very sore!) chest.

C x

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13 Replies

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  • Been in same position I had a day off being sick last week hadn't gad any time off since sept but had a warning letter which they then binned then told me I should've had it, all came to a head weds and I walked out never felt so much stress released as I did that dAy

  • It makes me to angry that HR have a box to put people into and outside that they are useless! I hope that you have spoken to your doctor about the stress that work are placing on you? Good luck angied x

  • Are you in a union? If not ask about Reasonable Adjustments and the Equality Act 2010 incorporating the Disability Discrimination Act and how they feel they have correctly acted in your case as well as how they have correctly undertaken their Duty of Care under the Health and Safety at Work Act

  • I was just going to say something similar to this. Fybro is now a recocognised disability apparently. A a union can help in my past employment I was seconded as a health and safety rep for 4 years and had to deal with quite a bit of this. Employers are not always educated enough in this regard union h& s reps generally receive a great deal of training on this. I know I did. Oh and remember oh are working for the employer not you. They use them to cut down their sickness bills not to help the individual. No matter what they tell you. Hope you get solutions soon. Be strong xT.

  • Thanks Teddybear7! I did find the OH guy very fair but am always wary of anything paid for by work....bit of a conflict of interest I think! It is listed as a recognised disability in the EA 2010 guidelines and both my consultant and GP are very supportive of me so fingers crossed I can tell them where to go!

  • Never ever go alone always take a witness a friend at work to take notes or tell them you will record the meeting in future ask for copies of their notes and correct any mistakes. Also write to them that you consider as explained to them that you felt bullied and it is how the victim feels and not the perputator. If you need help contact me but I am off sick as well at present and sometimes do not go on the computer.

  • Hi onhereagain - sadly I'm not in a union so am basically going it alone with the help of some friends who are lawyers and some who are knowledgeable about this disability. I stupidly went in alone as my friend was on holiday - won't be making that mistake again. Thanks for your offer of help while you too are off sick - it's much appreciated. Like I said to them nothing to hide so send me back to OH and finally do a desk assessment and speak to my specialists but also do me the courtesy of reading about how this affects me! Hope you feel better soon - chin up x

  • Hi Fairycake1973

    I am so sorry to read that you are having to endure this needles suffering and misery due to your illness and being in employment. I have pasted you a FibroAction guide to Fibro which is a PDF booklet and can be printed off and taken into your HR department for them to read.

    fibroaction.org/documents/l...

    Fortunately the law is on your side as Fibromyalgia is a recognised disability under the equalities act of 2010. I have pasted you a GOV.UK link below to read and print off.

    gov.uk/equality-act-2010-gu...

    I have also pasted you the link to FibroAction guide to work and Fibro, so I hope that you find this useful:

    fibroaction.org/pages/work-...

    You have not mentioned whether or not you are claiming PIP, which is a non-taxable benefit and can be claimed whether you are working or not? If you applied for this benefit and received some you could tailor your hours to encompass the PIP and lose out financially if your HR agree?

    I have pasted you the how to claim link as well.

    gov.uk/pip/how-to-claim

    I want to wish you all the best of luck and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to this issue?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thanks for this Ken - really appreciate you taking the time. I wasn't aware of what PIP was and I'll certainly look into it. Even though the law is on my side, HR can and do make things very stressful and awkward which is not what we need with this (or any) disability is it?! I think also, in their mind, by sending me to OH (one week after diagnosis) and asking how I am a couple of times they are making reasonable adjustments and being supportive....yeah right!

    I'm lucky in that I am pretty strong willed and won't give in easily to their bullying but it is exhausting having to defend yourself to people who don't understand or care to understand.

    Thanks again for your help and support - it truly is appreciated.

    Best

    Claire x

  • If still not happy ask Access to Work to come in I usually get my members to do this as I did as they are usually alot better

  • Hi onhereagain

    Access to Work as a very good set up to use, my wife has MS and they have helped her a huge amount with rearranging her office etc and they have constantly checked up to ensure that everything is going well for her.

    So thank you for adding this to the thread.

    Ken

  • Thanks, will check them out!

  • I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I pray that you can possibly get the help you need!!! Maybe try a pain clinic. It really helped me. XXX Mitzi

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