So I finally had my meeting with HR on Friday. It didn't go well at all. They pretty much accused me of fudging my absence figures. I felt intimiated and bullied by the whole process and pointed out that them saying they weren't being didn't help as that was how I felt. Apparently they want to be able to support me (really?!) but also have to look at the interests for the firm (sounds threatening to me). Of course I burst into tears.
They had done absolutely no research into the condition (the HR guy said he kinda knew what it involved as he has worked with someone with ME at a previous firm - so that made it all better), so I had to explain the basics to them, the daily pain levels and what a flare is. When I told them you need 11 out of the 18 points on the body to be diagnosed with fibro and that I had all 18 they just looked at me blankly. I said that when I last saw my consultant I had just 14 of them they perked up and said "so you're getting better", I said no, just having a better day.
They didn't seem to grasp that I was actually doing well holding down a full time job.
They actually asked if fibro impacted on my personal life. I almost exploded at that point.....I told them that they don't see me trying to straighten up in the morning or put my feet flat or on the floor or that I often go home on Friday and don't go out of my front door until Monday morning.
They are also under the impression that the fluoxetine that I'm on is some miracle tablet and that I shouldn't be suffereing now that I'm on it.
When I suggested that I work an extra hour per day (for four days) and have Wednesday's off I got the "well I'm not sure that will help you we will have to look into this medically" and "how will it impact on the team" (I pointed out that my colleague worked 4 days a week just because she wanted to).
I also suggested that, as I was scared witless (and still am), at my first OH appointment I have another one and that they also do a proper desk assessement which they have failed to do in the past 6 months.
They asked if they could write to my GP and consultant - I said I had nothing to hide so yes they could.
Next step, apparently, is meeting to discuss what questions they will ask in the letter.
I feel totally stressed out by this. I had to meet my god daughter on Saturday evening for her birthday but spent all day up until 6 (when I had to get a shower and get out to meet her) in bed sleeping and all day yesterday in bed sleeping. Today I am at work, in agony, can't stop crying and wondering why the hell I'm putting myself out....
Sorry for the babbley rant, not sure it makes sense but I had to get it off my (very sore!) chest.