I know all the answers....but I just can't cope!

I'm pretty good at helping others(proper little carer my mother used to say) and I know all the answers as to what I can do for myself but I'm just not coping! Dr is sending me for more blood tests as she is sure I now have arthritis in my hands and knees! All I keep thinking is, what on earth did I do to deserve this? Then I get angry and tell myself that there are worse off than me and to stop being selfish!! I've been robbed of the person I was 18 months ago and really, really struggling to see the "bright side". I'm sat here sobbing at the pure injustice of it all.... I'm waiting for my appointment with the " head people" and hope it helps me to see my way in accepting what is going on...I have many a conversation with myself and want to be strong but its just not happening at the moment! I don't normally like to put miserable posts on here but I just thought "better out than in"!!! I do hope you're all having a better day than me and thank you for listening!! Much love.....ninja..x

24 Replies

  • I'm sorry I do hope you get the help you need soon...LIz..

  • Hugs... ninja nanna

    Let it out ' better out than in as you said.

    I think when life changes we sort of grieve for what we had.

    Apart from that pain is hard to deal with ' and my hubby finds it difficult to slow down' but his pain will

    Have you family or a friend that you can talk too' you need to say just how difficult it is at the moment' it may be their time to help you.


  • Thanks twinks! I think you're right, grieving is how I feel at the moment and yes I'm very lucky to have a fab man and terrific family supporting me but sometimes I can't explain what's going on without breaking down in floods of tears and I don't want them to worry about me more than they do. Thank you for your kind reply.....ninja...xx

  • I actually dont know how to start - I send you large warm hugs I hope they will give you a bit of comfort.

    I know where you are coming from today and understand how you feel. Yes grieving is a good description sometimes I also feel terribly sad. Just take care make a cup of tea put your feet up and take ten or twenty relax breathe deeply it will help


  • It's the feeling of not being able to cope with all the different aspects of fybro that is the hardest I think, sometimes it's hard to see how you can carry on, but then as you say you have a good OH and family support which is such a big thing with this, I also have a good OH so we have to be thankful and do our very best to cope for them as well, but sometimes it's so hard, when I start thinking of all the things I can no longer do as I used to especially gardening which I love it starts getting me down, I tried to do a bit yesterday but could only managed to do a bit of weeding whereas I used to spend all day out there doing everything myself, but we just have to try and ' Live the moment' as the saying goes, Jess.

  • it's true, you do grieve for the person you were and for the dreams of the life you had planned. BUT then, you begin to build your new one - and there are good things ahead, you learn to adjust and adapt, creating and getting to know the new you - you are still in there, just a little lost at the moment.

    there might be people who you consider worse than you, but that doesn't diminish your pain and problems. be kind to yourself :)

  • So much good advice is given already. It is a form of grief. Have you taked to Gp about your sadness? Also check out a pain management course. It doesn't get rid of it but I found it helpful in seeng options of being me. You are allowed to feel.

    Put kettle on search radio for something cheerful and chill.

    Good luck and gentle hugs.


    And pace pace pace. Snails are lovely. And retreat to their shells when it all get too much.

  • Thanks nedd! I did see the Dr on Mon but totally forgot to ask about pain management course(fibro fog) I'm normally pretty good and write everything down=-O I will bring it up next time! Lovely bit about the snails, exactly how I feel right now!!... xx

  • Hello Nijananna Hi Nedd. I prefer tortoises to snails, much more lovable. Sorry you are going through it at the moment, sending lots of hugs sue xxx

    Oh hows that beautiful new grandson of yours doing? hugs to him as well. xxl

  • Ohh .....thank you for asking sue! He's an absolute little smasher!! Off to see him on Friday! Yes I think tortoises and more appealing to the eye than snails and wouldn't get squashed so easy!! Hugs received and welcomed!!


  • Yucky things

  • Greedy Little snails eat all our plants.!!

  • Try salt with them ;)


    my granny used delight in telling me how many she had despatched. Tis terrible cruel.

    I have been known to collect them all and take them up the road, but it got a bit embarrassing as I have to walk past the pub clutching a bucket! It got to be a joke.

  • escargot, are they eaten with salt? :)

  • And vinegar?

  • Would still prefer chips :)

  • Me too with a nice piece of fish. :P

  • You get it on and I'm there:)

  • Hi ninjananna

    I have read your post with such pain and sorrow for what you are suffering at this time, both physically and emotionally. I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues.

    I do not think that you are being selfish, I think you are being human. We all understand how you feel, the misery and fatigue, the overwhelming loss of how life used to be. I believe that you are a remarkable, amazing, beautiful and caring human being, and if you can spend some time on you, then you will find a way to get through this.

    If you ever need a virtual online friend to moan at, then I am always here.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Morning ninja sorry to hear you are going thru a rough patch I think we can all relate to what you are going thru, just hang in there you'll get thru it, and I hope you manage to get sorted very soon,.....sending you a huge gentle bear hug, and large handful of gloriouse sunshine....Dee xxx. (((((( ninja. )))))) :) xx

  • Hiya Ninja

    Hope your ok :)

    I know how you feel, helping others is easy but helping your self is a struggle!

    I also wonder why this has happened to me. My mom always tells me to think positive but that's easier said than done.

    I also suffer with anxiety and insomnia and depression, some days can be awful.

    The doctor has just switched my sertrine and Amitriptyline and had replaced with Trazodone. This is really helping me.

    I hope you start to feel well soon! All the best, lots of hugs



  • Hi Ninja

    I am so sorry you are going through such a touch time of it at the moment. My heart goes out to you, truly it does. I know the despair you are feeling and the grieving of the life we once had has seemed to have been stolen away from us, I sometimes feel like I" just let like an empty shell of pure pain!

    My hubby and friends always tell me if I applied all the good advise out that I give to others I would be much better off myself but it seems easier for me to help sort out other peoples problems than my actual own!

    I"ve had ME/CFS/Fibro & lots of many serious ailments, syndromes for almost 30 years. I am only 53 in July and feel as if I am trapped in a 83 year old body! I found the injustice when my eldest son was diagnosed with Fibro, also rare genetic incurable fatal syndromes, that is when I look up and Question!!

    I know it is very hard and can be sometimes too overwhelming to cope with but when we except that the fibro is with us to stay we find different way of living, adapting to different things that we can no longer do!

    I"ve been very depressed recently and often find myself in floods of tears but very often after a post, please don"t think that you are ever moaning or on your own because you"re certainly not. The support and kindness soon bucks me up.

    This is a wonderful Forum where we can "dump" all our unwanted feelings and upsets, because we are all in the same boat and can understand and empathise with each other.

    I hope you start to feel a little better soon & yes it is better out than bottled up inside! Chin up! You belong here, we need you!

    Sending you positive healing comforting energies.

    Take Care (((gentle hugs))) & Please be kind to yourself as you are to others.

    Best wishes XX

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