Toilets!

Here,s a fibro experience, I went to use the disabled toilet because I need the hand rail to get up. A older lady came bustling up and said 'the ordinary toilets are down there' I said oh, is there someone in here then? No she said, but this is the disabled isn't it? Yes, I said that,s why I,m using it! She looked confused and bustled off. Mind your own business came to mind. I have a long history of wrecking toilet roll holders that aren't firmly fixed cos I have to use them to hold onto. I usually check they are solid before I go in. What joy! On a serious note, why if there are disabled toilets are they always on the end of the row? I can walk, but bad news for those who can't!

50 Replies

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  • Hi Wildwoman

    Spending a penny has certainly changed over the years hasn't it. Why do people make assumptions whenthey see us well we look good we try hard an hide our Fibro reasonably well :) May be we should have large badges on our backs saying "Yes we are"

    Take care xgins

  • Hi gins, yes, my husband offered to make me a badge to that effect. I,ve said before I might get one of those fibro tshirts this summer. I usually cut off the neck band of that type cos round necks don't suit me, oh dear, that,s not toilets is it, rambling again! Xxx

  • You know I might get a Fibro T-Shirt and put it over the bag that goes on the back of my wheelchair :D

    Good idea WW help to raise awareness too at the same time :D YAY :D

  • Is there such a thing as a fibro tee shirt ?

  • There is a fibro acton shop but im not sure ho to get onto it :O

    one of the volunteers could tell you. sue

  • Hi sue if you see my reply above to wolvesguy you will find the shop where you can help to raise awareness of FibroAction :) :) :)

    lovely fresh lavender fluffies on their way to you :) xxx

    PS it's actually below LOLOLOL

  • If you click on the butterfly in the top right of your screen to get into our mother site fibroaction and then click on support us, at the bottom of that screen is where you can get fibroaction merchandise to help raise awareness for the charity.

    Hope this helps :)

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Thanks for the link def be buying a tee shirt one saying fibro sucks and the other one sayin about the butterfly could even hurt I'm pleased to spread the word about fibro as being a long time sufferer :)))))

  • Fantastic and thank you :)

    I can associate with the long time side of things.

    Sending you some healing fluffies :) :) :)

  • Also sending you some big healing fluffies

  • Due to the fact that I walk like a drunken duck Its not a problem getting people to accept that I am disabled. :P squackue

  • Thinking about it I have more trouble convincing them that i`m NOT drunk. :O

  • been there.......................... come to think of it, I still am :P

  • I'm on a gin and tonic diet. It's great. So far I've lost 3 days :P :P

  • Hi I understand exactly what you mean, I find it difficult to use 'normal' loos because of the height, like you wildwoman, I've almost wrenched roll holders off as I try to get myself up. Also had many a "why do you need to use the disabled loo" looks but I know why and what they think really doesn't matter at all :o

    Foggy x

  • Did you know you can purchase a RADAR key for all disabled toilets around the UK?

    crm.disabilityrightsuk.org/...

    These keys are only sold to the disabled and so if you had the key nobody should comment or judge you again hopefully! Also easier than going to ask the manager to unlock Disabled toilets if certain areas do thie regularly, no need to wait in queue to ask for this help either

    Hope this helps

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • Thanks a lot for that, I,ll look into itxxx

  • To add urgency try this too

    bladderandbowelfoundation.o...

    Its for IBS and similar really but worth carrying around. One flash of this card and they colour up and offer you the best in the house, great when public facilities are the other end of town or out of order. :)

  • Wow, this is a great find, thank u a lot! Xx

  • I think IBS have a similiar card if you suffer with IBS it could be a great help.

    Yes it is almost the same, see link

    theibsnetwork.org/what-we-o...

  • Didn't know about that either my friend would really benefit from that as he is housebound because of IBS thankyou again :)

  • Yeah, but you have to join with quite a large fee. or did when I last looked. :(

  • You know, yes! I did but I wasn't sure if you had to be in receipt of something in order to qualify or not???

    I shall look into that, thankyou :)

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • I just applied for both and sent a cheque for the appropriate amount. BBF aske for a donation to cover costs but don't actually charge. :)

    So the answer is no you don't

  • You can also buy them through Amazon. I got one last week because I have bladder problems and often the other toilets are locked /demolished/businesses ( our local ones will shortly be two tiny homes!). But that's another subject for discussion

  • It's not until you are in the loo that you notice how very different they are. Supermarket ones tend to be much of a muchness but public, and particularly restaurants and pubs can vary quite a bit.

    One pub in the New Forest, that stated disabled facilities had barely enough room in to turn round and shut the door, hopeless if you were in a wheelchair.

    The best one I have seen, is at the D Day Museum carpark in Southsea, Portsmouth. There is even a flat bed and hoist for adult users who need carers to help them. There is plenty of room for more than one wheelchair and everything has been well thought out.

    Perhaps we should start a list of the ones with the best facilities, and those to avoid!!!

    I have a RADAR key and it is very useful for all over the country.

    Nancy

  • Thanks Nancy, I,m seriously thinking of getting a RADAR key, and I do think we should start a directory.xx

  • I wonder if there already is one? Seems a bit obvious. In my line of work I come across loads of disabled "facilities" that would be big enough if they weren't used as a store

    Big Badger GRRRRRR

  • that sounds really good were do you apply for a key ?I live in Scotland we don't have lot disabled toilets needing key but there is a few thanks for info Linda

  • Hi Linda

    If you google RADAR the information will come up, and there is an application form on the official site. It is certainly worthwhile doing, especially since the disabled loos seem to be cleaner as there are not so many people using them.

    Nancy

  • Thanks Nancy for the info will check it out .Linda

  • Hi wildwoman

    I am so sorry to read that you had endure this! Some people baffle me with their attitude and false presumptions.

    Take care my friend

    Ken x

  • I had a similar thing happen to me the other day but when walking over to my car which was parked in a disabled bay. A 35/40 year old lady with her elderly father in a wheelchair came rolling over to me screaming her head off. She was very intimidating and said some harsh words. I went home crying ha! Some people have no idea what its like and because its 'invisable' its not real, its all in your head.

    There were no other disabled spaces available so she had to park further away in a normal spot.

    As she was waiting outside the shop I was coming out of while her partner went to get their car. She spotted me and blasted 'oi you, I want a word with you!'.

    She didnt care that I had a badge. Because I look 'normal' and I'm young (26) I shouldnt be allowed to park there.

    Some people are so heartless and ignorant. A few nosey old biddys came and joined in. I couldnt just drive off as she dumped her father behind my car so I couldnt reverse and make a speedy get away! I just stood there and took it =/ After they finished raging I said 'I'm really sorry. It's none of your business and I dont have anything to prove to you, but I have Fibromyalgia.' She continued to yell at me until her husand showed up with the car.

    I really feel for people that are ill but every step I take causes me pain, where as the person in the chair is not in constant pain. An ok its a pain in the butt pushing it about, but atleast its not hurting..

    Meh meh meh

    Old people think the world owes them a favour because they've stuck around on the planet for so long. They're from the generation that thinks unless you have a limb falling off there is nothing wrong, this is just closed mindedness from their generation. As much as some old people are really thankful and considerate because they're perhaps less able than others, some can be right pieces of work and do expect everyone to do everything for them and play by their rules.

    *hugs*

  • Hi sloth, this is such a sad story, I feel really sorry for your experience, it must have been awful. Under the present rules I don't think I,d get a badge, but I sure could do with one! Xx

  • I'm old enough, probably older(!) than your mum and I'm so sorry you had to come across such nasty ignorant people. And that nobody came to your help. I was intimidated by two middle aged men in my local car park recently over some 'crime' I had committed. When I got home I was so angry and upset that I dialled the non urgent police no. They were very good and said that if I had called from the car they would have seen if there was a car available to come out. I will not hesitate to do this next time. By the sounds of it you would have been well within your rights to do so ! If she was actually preventing you from leaving and it was a public highway then she may have been committing an offence.

    Big hugs xxxxx

  • Nice to know that you got such a positive response from phoning the police.

  • Yeah, I suppose it's intimidation - and it is - or a public order offence. I wonder what sort of offence it is to prevent someone going about their lawful business. I personally would try not to inflame the situation though. It's not worth it. And you don't know the mental state of the other person or what they're carrying that they may use in a fit of anger. It's no good being in the right from a hospital bed. Do take care. Don't feel inferior that you back off either. It's often the strongest thing to do. :) Agree with jessam all the same.

  • Hmmmmnnn yep! I've broken a few too

    I would have just said thankyou and gone in the disabled loo

    You're disabled once you're in a wheelchair I've discovered, it is very different. I get treated with more respect then I ever have before with people holding doors and being polite etc there have been many people stop to offer assistance to us when we've been out and not needed it, but they offer. When I was on crutches people would shut doors and complain at me for being in the way and too slow it became so distressing that I stopped going out for a while :o

    Daft isn't it how people perceive the word 'disabled', if you're on crutches you'll be ok in 6weeks because that's the usual time for healing but I was using them all the time because I needed them.

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Growling with you on this one

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • I came across this while researching toilets. I'm still spitting, and locally a lady was "ejected" from a museum for breastfeeding GRRRRRRR

    dailymail.co.uk/health/arti...

  • I,m speechless! Re the breast feeding, the prurience of the British public never ceases to amaze!

  • Likewise. I know the place and was surprised. They apologised and put it right straightaway but the damage was done. It's no excuse it was volunteer run. training is training but can get forgotten in the heat of the moment - and mission statements count for little at the coal face. I hope it was a lesson to all. :)

    Oh, it was museum staff!

  • This reminds me of my mum who had severe RA. A really nasty letter was put under the windscreen wipers in the local supermarket car park. It was unsigned, personal, and derogatory. Poor mum was very upset as she tried to look around to see if the perpetrator was watching. It knocked her confidence so that she didn't want to shop there again. She was severely disabled, in constant pain, used a wheelchair and had her Blue Badge on display. Because she didn't have to buy a parking ticket the writer said it wasn't fair! What's fair about being unable to move around on your own?!

    Don't let it bug you, there are horrible people in all walks of life, and they should know better than pick on vulnerable people. Hold your head up, you do not need to explain anything, the Badge is enough.

    Nancy

  • And just realise small minded people aren't worth your attention. There are far more important things. :)

  • I Would have said to her just because you cant see my disability doesn't mean I don't have one !!!its the same with parking I also have spinal cancer its a blood cancer in the bone marrow I need to use a walker or one the small trolleys when I shop or else my back is too sore you see people with no badges parked I cant get a space one these days I am going to ask them if they want my disability as well as parking space .

  • Hi wild woman that woman needed to mind her own business, you have a disability and can use disabled toilets if it's easier for you! I do but because I use a stick and often a wheelchair I don't get questioned. You gave the correct response so don't worry about it! Take care

    April

  • Why are all disabled toilet made for wheel chair or little people, do they not know some people are tall and have bad backs, do they not know how hard it is to wash your hands as the basic are normal near my knees.

  • Oh don't you just hate that attitude? I am now armed and ready should anyone challenge me with 'not all disabled people are in wheelchairs'.

    On a slightly different tack I went into Mountain Warehouse yesterday and they had a huge disabled changing room, with a fixed seat, a cord, pegs etc. It meant so much to me, even as a non- wheelchair used. I need space and a seat to sit on. I think I might do a separate post on that while I think about it!

  • Hi Kirby, do please do a separate post, I think a disabled changing room is brilliant. I always need a chair to sit on, I was thinking of getting a rucksack chair, now, there,s another post ...

  • Hi Wildwoman

    Yes, I did a separate post! I'd never seen one like it. So long and so wide. Just felt as if someone cared. The seat was attached to the wall and comfy with rails etc :-)

  • Hi, I have Fibromalagia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chronic Pain, Budging discs in my Lower from my Waist down, I can understand your Frustration Huni, As of course you will get stares from people as they do not see on the outside what is wrong with you, to them Your using a toilet that is meant to be for a Wheelchair bound person, Huni, just ignore them as they do not know or have any idea what is wrong with you, Don't let if affect you, If you need to use it then use it, Toilets are for anybody not just because some don't have a Wheel chair that you are not able enough, I would personally say to this person, I do have a Disability, You may not see it, But its there every day, So do not judge me just because you cannot have any idea what i live with daily, Yes i am disable, i just do not need a chair to prove it, Have good day then just walk away, As your better than that huni,

    All the very best

    God bless you

    Vickie xx

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