Does anyone else get too tired to speak? - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Does anyone else get too tired to speak?


Sometimes it feels like my brain is so exhausted that it cannot think of what it wants to say.

Is it wrong of me to sometimes just want to sit in silence?

Does anyone else feel long conversations are very "draining"?

If I have something very important to say, then I need to rehearse it several times in my head before I can speak it "out loud", just to make sure the right words come out!!!

Hope this doesn't make me sound too stupid. :) xx

29 Replies

I completely get where you are coming from. This is a symptom I really hate as it's one of the reasons why I cancel on friends sometimes. It's like you almost become irritable if you have to try and hold a conversation? Do you find when you are like it that even the tv or reading a book can be a bit too much as well? If I can I try and avoid everyone and will literally sit staring into space, but if I can't get away without seeing anyone then like you I have to practice what to say and hope I can get it all out before I lose my train of thought. If that happens, then I've had it! Xxx

I get like that, I thought it was just me! I get so tired I just can't speak and get annoyed if I'm asked questions, my sister comes round most days to help out bless her, but she is always talking and it drives me mad, she don't understand when I say my brain is too mushed up to speak

I get this so so often, and like you Alex I end up cancelling friends as I know I just am not capable of conversing properly, and feel so worn out that the effort seems all too much to cope with.

You don't sound stupid at all Phlebo, there are at least two of us who really understand where you are coming from, so take comfort from that if you can :-)

Sending positive healing vibes coming your way :-)

Foggy x


Yes at the most inappropriate of times too.

Sometimes when my OH asks me what I'd like for my tea I just look at him blankly because my brain is blank! Happens at the doctors too and hospitals anywhere really.

I find the fibromonster just creeps up and steals my brain when it feels like it :o

I've been called nasty names too as a result from people who thought I was just being rude.

I can't read books anymore, I end up re-reading pages too many times and TV I fall asleep especially films. It's been years since I went to the cinema :(

Anyhoo! You're not alone phlebo and I know how frustrating it can be, I play games when I'm like that because I don't necessarily need to focus on anything specific. It also helps to keep my brain active. Puzzles are also good for helping with that, if I don't feed my brain I go crazy :) Though I cannot manage the puzzles when my brain is numb of course!

Fluffies filled with healing and sunshine on route to you

:) xxxsianxxx :)

Hello phlebo,

I know what you mean. I have found with this illness that I'm always finding something new that is happening to me and it can be a difficult time adjusting to it all. I like to sit in silence and I find I always have to take time to speak to gather my words, otherwise the words come out but they don't make any sense. Especially with me. I find it difficult to remember names of things, that is annoying because normally I wouldn't have a problem saying kettle but now I come out with words like "thingy", "Whatsitcalled" "y'know that" and erm "the thing that boils and water comes out of it" It's so hard living like this and having things like this happen just make it all that more difficult. You don't sound stupid, we've all been there. I make fun of myself when things don't come out properly. Having that bit of humour helps me live with it I guess. I think it's just something else that has decided to come out and say hello. So, don't worry about it, don't be scared by it, let people know (those that care about you) that you sometimes have difficulty speaking and some words might not come out properly and fingers crossed they will all be okay with it. If not then it doesn't matter because now you know that your not alone feeling this way. I often say to people "the words come out of my mouth just not in the right order!!" haha. There will be other things along the way that we find out about but you will always find an answer here. Hope that I've helped you. Big gentle hugs to you xxxxx

I am allowed to use the term "thingy" for anything these days :-), e.g. I put the thingy the thingy but it was a bit thingy :-)

Mrs_Somerset, I totally get you. Oh dear, I think the whole world should be made out of thingy's lol xxx

ZJ_lee in reply to babebatista

Oh my God I have symptoms just like you! It might be due to stammering, or maybe something else like low blood sugar or something. Sometimes I find it hard to enunciate and ended up having to slur my words out. I blame it on my mouth muscles for being too weak and inflexible, or probably my worseing eyesight which is draining of my energy away...

Hi phlebo123,

Oh! I so understand what you mean. I find even a group of people chatting away very exhausting! If I'm trying to join in, I just go blank and I am scrambling in my head to find the word I am looking for. I also have the most horrendous memory recall. I find it very hard remembering things I have done a few hours ago, let alone days, weeks ago or longer, but I don't know if that is fibro or the meds!! :-))

You don't sound stupid at all and you are most definitely not alone. Like you and others, sometimes I just need silence. I also try to do word searches on my iPad and other games, to try to keep my brain working!!

I hope you are having a better day today.

Take care and thank you for your post.

Nope you are not alone happens to me all the time. I find it easier to meet with friends one at a time so don't have to try and keep up with lots of people. Also never remember any things name anymore sometimes I can just laugh it off and other times it upsets me xx

Had big message of support in my head, but came to type, forgot it all. I sit alone at night in quiet so i have time where i dont even have to listen, it takes too much energx. Sod this fibro., i used to work full time brought up two kids and studied for a part time degree, in English, ffs. Julie xxx

Hi there phlebo, I just thought that i was being unsociable, because I was in so much pain, everything is such an effort, and yes lipbalmaddict I find that with the TV also, and my computer, I get very agitated, yet I'm ok on this iPad, I hate this goddam condition, ...hugs to all... Dee xx

I totally get this - and most days find a need to just be quiet as noise and people buzzing around makes me feel overwhelmed. I find it embarrassing that sometimes when my family visit as after a while I will simply go to sleep and can't fight this!! I feel very antisocial but just can't help this and am uncontrollably falling asleep quite without warning. I often feel that I spend two thirds of my life asleep or feeling like I want to sleep, although of course at night I am quite unable!! :-/

Me too. My partner is deaf and lip reads, and I get so irritable that they've missed the start of my sentence cos it took so much effort to say it.

Hi phlebo I also felt like that on a regular basis. Like it just too exhausting to think. I've found that since starting pregabalin thats improved just hope it lasts.


Yes to all that others said and I'm told I mumble. lol I can't stand noise drives me crackers

Do you also feel very jumpy, hubby may come in and speak I jump a mile if I'm trying to concentrate on something.

Hi Phlebo and all you other suffers of this type of brain fog. I find it so frustrating - losing the thread of what I am saying half way through a sentence. As I am now 60 (feeling like 90) I laugh it off and say 'just another senior moment'. Of course you cant do that when you are younger. Its a bit of a lame excuse but it helps me. I thought that writing down messages etc would help but then I forget where Ive left the bit of paper etc. At times I think Im going nuts but its my constant friend fibrofiend at it again. I use up energy I havent got searching for things and trying to remember stuff and also beating myself up for not having the concentration I need to do everyday stuff. I try to divide my brain into 2. One half is concentrating on managing pain etc and the other doing normal living. Its SO TIRING but the only way I can manage. I live alone so I have one advantage in that I am not disturbing or letting a partner down. Its about time the medics sorted this fibro.


Not al all! :-)

right - just to make you fell a bit better - here's is me in all my mental fogginess when it comes to words;

* sometimes I just stumble over a few words

* sometimes I am soo tired I tell my husband to just talk at me - I promise I am lsitening but no energy to talk.

* sometimes I forget the word like it had been erased

* sometimes I phase out in the middle of a conversation and then pick right up even though I have been staring off into the distance like a loon for a minute or two

* sometimes the words are right in my brain - like having a conversation with myself - but I cannot et them out - like someone has mind controlled me - cannot get my mouth open (this is soooooo frustrating)

* sometimes I have to close my eyes to have a conversation or even just to listen to someone - it seems to help keep my mind from wondering

* when I concentrate on a conversation my body start shaking

* sometimes I use completely the wrong words, but I have no idea I have done it - apparently I asked my husband if he would like a slice of Boot for pudding the other day! :-)

Often I find I can type(arms allowing) even when I am at my most word-looney.

It makes for some very novel conversations

your not alone im like that most days, especially if its something important. i hate it. i at one stage thought i was getting early onset dementia glad its not. and realise that lots of others do the same muddled words or nothing at all ahhhhhh. xx

I totally understand, I too have brain fog; it makes it impossible to hold a conversation without stubbling,forgetting words, forgetting my train of thought and saying things back to front. family understand and help finish my sentence or say the word I cant recall.

whereas at work I listen to their conversations and rarely join in as ive had mikey taken too many times x


Totally understand sometime I know what want to say but nothing comes out or if it dose it makes no sense hugs

I know exactly what you mean. I gey exhausted and confused by people whotalk quickly or talk a lot. It probably comes across as stupid or antisocial but i go into a kind of semi coma when this happens, and cannot respond. Its like too many words for my brain to process, it hurts my head too and i cant wait for them to shut up! Luckily i cant get out much so can avoid a lot of situations, every cloud etc...

Morning I think most of us know exactly what you mean - I tend to fall asleep with out warning and then snap back missed something.


Most definitely, Phlebo

I find talking can be draining and especially if it's eg a friend or friends I've not seen for a long time. I find the same when on the phone to friends I've not spoken to for a long time. I find the internet is a real boon because you can slow down the interaction to your needs and your own pace!

K x

You just explained my problem. I think it has got to be mental and physical exhaustion?

I find that I often let calls from friends go unanswered especially the ones I know who like to talk. Because it drains me to the point of mental and physical exhaustion. I also find myself hiding from people in a crowd or spending all my time at the kids table or watching them play games at family outings etc. because they do not like long conversations. I have a friend who can corner me and talks so much that I feel as if I could actually vomit if I don't get away. People get angry with me as they take my anti social behavior personal and cannot understand that I really do not want to be this way. I am just so burnt out from a hard life of endless stress, on top of two marriages that were violent and abusive. I was literally beat into my disability. I am also very commitment phobic. As I never know when I will feel good, when panic or anxiety will set in, I always need a exit plan, I try so hard to talk myself out of doing things that I literally have to force myself to go. People say you can do something you really want to do, I think you are just being manipulative. But do not understand that I had to save up a energy reserve to do it, had to make sacrifices and prepare well in advance, and will pay for a few days or more afterward in bed feeling like death. IS this social anxiety a part of my diagnosis of fibro, CFS, and adrenal fatigue syndrome? I am lonely but feel like I do not have the energy to maintain a relationship because that would require talking, commitment, routine, expectations and energy. It has been really depressing lately...... I am only 57, and think to myself, is this as good as it is going to get? Just so tired of being sick and tired.

fenbadger in reply to brenjane60

I think social anxiety is a side effect of many illnesses, not necessarily generated by the illness itself. For me it's just so I don't have to explain YET AGAIN to people who probably have no intention of understanding in the first place, or being stared at for walking like a cripple but no obvious signs of disability.

Last week even brandishing a RADAR key, a man deliberately closed the disabled toilet door at me as he left. Didn't bother me, as I'm used to insensitivity. I understand the need to keep the "rabble" out, but some characters can be a bit extreme. He clearly saw it and knew it for what it was as he must have had one.

no it doesn't and yes I do. Not only that I find myself asking others to repeat themselves frequently.

Yes. And I often don't answer the phone, I'm too tired for a conversation.

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