If I Scream Will Anyone Hear Me????

[RealTSM]

I am so past p*ssed off!! (Sorry about the language) ....I just want to scream from the tips of my numb toes to the tip of my tongue....shaking and screaming!! Have I said screaming a lot???? I am struggling mentally, physically, financially....feel like I'm locked in an impenetrable bubble....thanks for listening x x

[jillylin]

Gentle hugs.

JIllyxx

[RealTSM in reply to jillylin]

Thanks huni x

[Hidden]

Hello real tsm I hear you and Im sure others on this site will, and like me empathise with how you are feeling On thurs night I was worrying about money, bored stiff and longing to do what ive always done when stressed. Walk the dog. but fibro wont let me cant even make it to the top of the road. ended up just wanting to kick some thing.That is when the dog decided to lie on my feet.Maybe she didnt want me to kick her lots of gentle hugs you are not alone ...sue xxxxx

[RealTSM in reply to Hidden]

Hi MayRose54....I strongly believe your dog was trying to soothe your aching feet so you'd be too chilled to wanna kick anything!! I hear you though....wholeheartedly....I haven't had a car for little over a year....that was my freedom....every time I felt like I was gonna scream I'd go for a drive.....now I need to find ways to not get wound up coz it backfires with a vicious flare. Thanks for making me smile though Sue, big hugs x x

[butterflygirl1]

I know exactly how you feel hon I too feel frustrated and down not being able to do just the simple things can leave me feeling like I want to scream. Its like being in a vicious circle and the main issue is that you look fine on the outside and everyone assumes your okay but your a mass of emotions on the inside along with the pains etc. My brain tells me one thing but my body says another its like I am in the middle of a war zone with my body sending you very gentle fluffy hugs xx

[RealTSM in reply to butterflygirl1]

Thanks loads for my gentle fluffy hugs they are gratefully received. I can relate babe....one of my many issues is I'm touch sensitive so when I go out n people bump into me I wanna cry....people don't realise how serious the effects of Fibro is....when my friends/family see my reaction they see the pain but don't get it....so how would a stranger? Hugs x x

[Saskia]

I understand how you feel as I am on a very downward turn at the moment. This morning I felt like crying but couldn't manage it due to lack of energy and the antidepressants. This time of the year is difficult for me anyway due to past bereavements at this time of the year and I really do not like Christmas very much. The ads on telly get on my wick. They seem to think we are all made of money, have loads of friends and are all out partying!!! The physical and emotional pain is a real bummer isn't it? Mostly I try to appear positive on the outside whilst feeling like s**t on the inside but that pretence takes so much energy I feel that I just can't pretend any more. So, my dear, you are definitely not alone. You scream all you like or punch a pillow...whatever helps you. We are all in this vicious cycle of pain, lack of energy and emotional despair and at any time some of us will feel a bit better or a bit worse. That is the unfortunate nature of Fibromyalgia. It is so unpredictable. Gentle hugs and loving thoughts and prayers are with you. Saskia. XX

[RealTSM in reply to Saskia]

Saskia your such a sweetie and your words are over true. I am sorry for your loss it's such an emotional feeling in itself...at this time of year....well daily....I think of my Daddy n how empty I feel without him. Since I became ill I've felt immense pressure when it comes to Christmas....the money, family, etc. I just want to don an invisible cloak but then....my daughter is like a detective she'd find me :_( Your message has lifted me n I'm most grateful for that....it given me so much to think about. Warm, spiritual hugs huni x x

[Saskia in reply to RealTSM]

Thank you so much for your lovely response to me. I am glad my comments helped you a little. I do understand exactly how you feel about wanting to become invisible!! I have been through some reclusive phases in my life where I have just had to shut off from people. We are all in this together although at this time of the year the media portray Christmas as being such a wonderful happy time and for so many it just isn't. Years ago ( when I was younger and fitter!! ) I was a Samaritan and it is well known that the suicide rate goes up at this time of the year because so many feel the pain of isolation and loneliness. It is so sad but very understandable. I hope that you are feeling a bit brighter today. I managed to pull myself up by my bootlaces yesterday as the day went on and even managed to laugh a bit in the afternoon which surprised me!!!! I am a bit brighter today and the sun is shining. Hey ho....really ought to attempt a bit of housework.....Ugh!!!!...... Probably won't achieve much! At least we have this site on which to reach out to others who understand what we have to deal with on a daily basis. Feel free to message me any time you want to chat. I haven't been on here much lately mostly due to lack of energy!!! I'll always respond to messages though. take great care of yourself, RealTSM. Gentle hugs Saskia XX

[RealTSM in reply to Saskia]

Saskia, I'm so glad that your feeling a bit more cheery today....it's true the sunshine does change the mood a lot. I'm up in mingling with my baby (11yrs old) n just kissed my big baby (19 yrs old) bye as his going to stay with his son (1 yr, 10 mths old). I saw my GranBaby yesterday and his smile made me smile....had a kiss from my baby and a good chat with my big baby so I'm feeling a bit better. My heads all over the place n I wish I could focus but you know what....it's warming to share your feelings with someone who understands as I do feel isolated and I do feel über lonely but at least I'm alive n have support right here. Big huge spiritual hugs x x

[Saskia in reply to RealTSM]

Hi RealTSM, thought I'd just check in with you to see how you are. Are you feeling any better now? I am struggling with a chest infection at the moment. I am on the 2nd lot of antibiotics in 6 weeks! It keeps me awake at night and when I am up and out of bed, coughing in the bathroom, I feel very lonely! I don't like to wake my husband up. I am feeling a bit better now that I am up and moving about. Christmas seems such a struggle and I don't really enjoy it all that much, although I do try to make the effort. I have so little energy and the thought of writing cards fills me with dread, although I'll be alright once I get going I expect….I hope. Although physically I am feeling worse at the moment, I feel brighter in myself for which I am grateful. It is lovely that you have 2 children to lift your spirits as well as a lovely grandchild. Babies are so adorable and, as you say, when they smile you can't help but smile back at them. I hope you are feeling brighter and more able to cope with whatever life throws at us. Take care. Hugs, Saskia. XX

[bbstport]

hugs to you xx

[RealTSM in reply to bbstport]

Thanks huni, big hugs x x

[Shazzzy]

Im with Saskia on this, the adverts on tv are peeing me off bigtime, i would love to see alternative adverts, showing things as they really are .with knackered skint parents, greedy kids, drunk uncles and all. Played by the likes of Micky Flanagan, Lee Mack and Jon Bishop.That would be worth watching!!

[RealTSM in reply to Shazzzy]

Snazzy you have me LOL on this cold Sunday morning....your too funny....n definitely spot on!! Even my GranBaby has cottoned on...every time he see's an advert with a toy he likes he makes a gesture which means he wants it....trust me it's the whole ad break on Disney Jnr!! Hugs x x

[Saskia in reply to Shazzzy]

Just picked up your comment, Shazzy and it made me smile. It would be great to see adverts showing ordinary people, (or as you say knackered, skint people and terrible relatives behaving badly!!!) and I think comedians could have a field day with it. Shall we 'phone ITV and see if they'd take up the idea….lol..! Hugs Saskia XX

[Shazzzy]

RealTSM great stuff, glasd u laughin now not screaming, though they both have their uses! And remind family xmas is about being together ( and celebrating the baby J ) ldont go spendin wot u havent got, its NOT all about money.(As if ) xx

[RealTSM in reply to Shazzzy]

My family know I've been having a tuff time of it so hopefully they'll understand things will be different this year. It's always, always about family....huge hugs x

[Ozzygirl64]

Hi hunni

We all feel like this at times and it is a good thing we have a site like this where we can let it all go, as for any swearing, I have heard and used for worse.

Try and say to yourself, right enough is enough, time for a coffee, a soak, anything that takes your mind off the struggle you are going through

Gentle hugs

xxxxx

[RealTSM in reply to Ozzygirl64]

At the moment I'm in bed with a swollen thyroid gland n one side of my face....I've been so scared....I've had to sleep upright as I'm gasping for breath when I lie down....I'm just thankful that I've made it through.

We can all make it through when we take ourselves out of the situation just like you said huni....Ozzygirl64....you've made me smile n remember.

Warm Hugs x x

[Hidden]

Big hugs to you all. At the moment I just want to evaporate into thin air.

Christmas is a very bad time for me, with 2 close bereavements. I find it so tiring having to put on a front all the time.

I think I have a trapped nerve, which added to my already considerable pain means I can barely stand for 5 minutes at a time.

I wake about every 40 minutes during the night in a panic and can't get back to sleep for ages.

Sorry. Just wanted to say I empathise with you all xx

[RealTSM in reply to Hidden]

Hi BlueMermaid, no need for any apologies sweetie....thank you for sharing your story. It's at these times that we can all come together n be there for each other....it's such a nice feeling. Big spiritual hugs x x

[Hidden]

Thank you so much RealTSM. It really does help to know other people understand.

Sorry for wittering on about my own stuff. It was just my way of trying to say I've been there and know the emotional and physical pain is sometimes just too hard to bare.

The kind hugs are much appreciated.

Please may I offer you my own hugs. I hope you are finding a way to cope.

xxx

[RealTSM]

BlueMermaid I seriously value hearing your story....I don't hear no wittering....I hear your pain n it's so much like mine that I don't feel paranoid....or like I'm imagining these random things....coz Fibro throws you things that are hard to understand....I feel veins in my leg jump randomly but I've told no one....!

Hearing stories from others (you) , being understood, the hugs....you can message me, we can talk....as long as we feel supported n understood x

I accept n welcome your hugs hun x x