Feel like I've been run over by a lorry :((( x

[nikk1975]

All I've done is sit on my bench over the bath to help Me shower,I washed my hair then dried off and now inbox the bed in pure agony even moving my good leg is sending the most horrendous pain. I am sick of this I've struggled all my with my crutches as my hands and fingers were as stiff as a board it's just one thing after another. I need help I can't tell my children as last night we was talking and I found out how messed up they are they can't concentrate on work,college and school wondering if the next call is I've fell or in hospital , can doctors sort out counselling for us as a family or all separate if they want?' . Sorry to go on again but I don't have any strength left in me anymore I just want to give up :((( x

[Mazz64]

OH bless you! yes the Dr can sort out counselling for you all, give them a call tomo, also have you spoken to social services about getting some help in your home with cleaning and stuff like that, when you feel up to it give them a call or ask your GP to refer you.

Please don't apologies, we are all here to help each other.

I really hope things get better for you very soon

gentle hugs

Mazz xx

[nikk1975 in reply to Mazz64]

Hi mazz, I will give the doctors a call tomorrow and get a phone consultation with my doctor x . The social services thing, I had no idea they helped in that way I don't get anything st all I just try and struggle through but with my husband working away Mon_Fri every week things are crumbling fast here if it wasn't for my family I seriously would give up it hurts to much to be awake I'm so depressed x ty for your kind words xxx love Nicola x

[suffolklass]

Hello Nikk

Have you been to your GP about the pain and the stiff fingers and hands?

Your GP can refer you for CBT, some NHS areas have a link to groups which offer different types of help, pain management, confidence, anxiety, all sorts. But your GP would be able to tell you if he/she will do it or give you contact info. Your family could refer themselves also.

If that isn't available MIND offer various courses and help which anyone can contact them about.

I have used both services and use bits from each. With fibro I have a terrible memory and it does take practice to do things and break habits.

I'm sorry if I've missed anything you've posted previously. Please don't give up, with help you will feel better about things.

There is usually someone about on site here if you want to talk about things or ask for advice. If you want to then get in touch with me in the personal messages.

I wish you and your family peace. Take care.

Xx

[nikk1975]

The for that, it's all new to me I am not aware of cbt and what they are?,,I will look up mind. I think what's happened I'd this illness has given me no strength to be there for my girls as I should. Last night was one of the worst nights of my life listening to them crying about everything, I've not had time to greave over who I was as I feel totally different and hate it. But if you can message me some details I would be very appreciated ,thinkin I need to sort us all out and quickly,also I need help with house on crutches I'm limited to what I can do too x ' . Just praying tomorrow will be better xxx

[crop]

Hi, you can ring your local council and refer yourself to adult social care and they will come out and assess how to help and put support in place for your children. I wish you strength and peace xx

[agtf1]

Hi Nikk, sorry you and your girls having such a rough time. It's worth speaking to the girls school about what's going on, my 6 year old daughter struggles with mummy being poorly and school has arranged councilling for her at school and also referred her to a "young carer" charity in the area. I'm still waiting to hear from the charity but they are meant to provide councilling and activities for young people with poorly parents & also help support parents with emotional probs as well as things like transport, housework, shopping etc.

from what I understand, every school can offer these services and if you look up "young carer support" then you can also self refer and there are groups all over the country.

Good luck & gentle hugs to you all xxx

[nikk1975 in reply to agtf1]

Hi Agtf1,

Thankyou for the advice i spent all day thinking about what to do so i do not make the wrong decision and make sure it is what we all need and what is best for the girls. My girls are 21,18 and 14 although they are grown up they have still found it deeply upsetting and i feel bad that i did not see it happening, i thought they was managing so i feel i have let them down. Anyway thats irrelevant now the important thing is to sort it out. My middle daughter has been offered a councelor at college as her tutor has seen her looking down and upset all the time but she said she was ok. I think i will speak to the doctor and see what he suggests i think it might be better if they go in alone then they can talk without thinking they are upsetting me. And i have read a little about the young carer support and it seems very helpful so thankyou hunnie you have helped me sending you gentle hugs right back to you and your family too xxx

[agtf1 in reply to nikk1975]

Don't feel bad, your girls have obviously tried to hide it from you (& probably from themselves to some extent). The main thing is to move forward now, which you are doing. I agree that they may feel more able to talk without you there initially. Good luck and hope u get some help for u and your girls soon xxx

[Mazz64]

Hi Nicola. How are you feeling today? I have adult services coming to see me today, about help at home, I will let you know how I get on, I think she will visit me 3 times, so not expecting much today. Do you get DLA/PIP? I know its hard to get but I'm going to apply soon for that, perhaps you could do too when you feel up to it.

I really hope you get it all sorted for you and the children.

Keep in touch

Hugs

Mazz xx

[haribo36]

Good afternoon Nicola,iam so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much.I really can emphasise with your situation,Iam a single mum of two young boys with severe fibro and depression.A few years back I applied to adult social services for an assessment to see what help they could offer.They were fantastic,they offered me 35 hours help a week and I employ two people to be my personal assistants.You are also entitled to see what equipment might be of help to you in your home as part of it.I get what's called a personal budget that an organisation called Essex pass manage for me.They pay the wages from my budget to the carers I have.They help me with what ever I struggle with which is keeping the house clean and tidy,washing clothes,washing up,getting to and from appointments,taking my son to and from school,bathing him,he with kids homework,cooking,shopping etc..Please please do ring them as it has helped me so much since getting the help.You can get counselling via your g.p called CBT counselling,Iam not sure if they can offer it as family counselling though.Iam about to start my second lot of it next week and they also offered me a stress and mood management course which Iam going to start tomorrow.I also get help through DLA which is now PIP,I would recommend that you apply for this as the extra money has helped me so much.If you contact your local CAB and ask for their help to fill out the form and please make sure you base it on your absolute worst day.Hope this all helps,Iam in the same boat myself with my kids and Iam wondering whether family counselling may be beneficial.Please don't struggle anymore as you should be entitled to some help.Dependant on what your husband earns though you may have to contribute towards the cost of the help but they will let you know xxx

[nikk1975 in reply to haribo36]

Hi hunnie, You are certainly helping me since i have joined the group. The assessment for getting help with everything would be great if we was able to apply for it at least we have not lost anything if they say no. I just sit and look at everything around the house that i used to be able to manage but now i can manage washing a few pots sat on my chair the hospital services gave me. It would be so much better if my husband was home as hes such a good cook and helps with all the cleaning washing etc. With kids girls being down at the moment i feel awful asking for help so everythings piling up which makes you feel down even more doesnt it just leaves you sitting looking at it lol. x If i ask my local cab to help fill my form do i speak over the phone, go to them or they come to me ? and are they the best people to know how to word everything, xx ty once again hope to hear from you and i hope you have been well today xx love nicola x

[Very_Sick]

I know exactly how you feel. I have Fibro, Lupus, Sjogrens and more. Lupus doeant come to a party alone. My fibro pain decreased when I never believed it anf cut out Gluten and all white and packaged products. Helped with nerve pain most. The painful muscles got better but found I have many infectious diseases that the exhaustion is the worst. Cant move. Now so depressed. You name it but dont give ip. I want to daily but hope that the next day might just change and after 10 years and some mental changes and food and I get by but I am miserable. I feel your desperation. I pray.for you. Hang in there we are still here cause we are damn strong. Until one is there no one understands. Those of us that have or are there are because we feel weak anf helpless and want to live life not just get by and we see others living and wonder why or what we did to deserce this. Cognitive behavioral therapy is also good and a different but most effective approach. God Bless and hang in there. We are all suffering these days. If you habe faith that too helps the mind and soul. Its more work on top of being ill but what other choice do we have? It does change us and make us look at our lives and appreciate the better days and the things we are lucky to have. I know not always does that help. God Bless