Hello my fibro chums,
I'm sorry to post a miserable blog but I'm really struggling at the moment and need some kind words.
My fibro was always very mild and I could work full time and even swim a few times a week. I used to even be able to go to the gym!
In this last year I have had a considerable amount of family and sometimes work stress. I think this has triggered my recent flare up. I've been in this flare up for about 5 months but it is not getting better, in fact I feel worse every week.
I cut my hours down and have started working from home a lot more. I've also switched to nortriptylene (which I've written about recently.) I'm anaemic and have low levels of vitamin d so I am taking tablets for that.
I'm trying to do everything that I should to help myself get better. I am experiencing a lot of stiffness and pain in my feet, my legs feel like they are being crushed or squeezed all the time and they feel weak and wobbly now most days. This has affected my ability to walk a lot.
I have daily brain fog, serious fatigue, headaches and daily nausea plus dizziness.
I've been trying really hard to keep positive and look after my fiancé and cat as well as giving emotional support to friends and family. I don't want to become so self involved I push them away.
But I'm really frightened I'm going to get worse; that I won't be able to work again fully; that we'll struggle without the money I bring in. I'm also worried if I stay like this that I won't be fit enough to start a family. This idea is very upsetting.
Work have been understanding so far, but they don't understand what fibro is and it's tough trying to educate them. I feel they think once my new meds kick in it will cure me. They tend to ask if I'm better on a daily basis, as if I have a cold. 'Are you feelin better (yet)' I probably make the mistake of telling them what they want to hear to keep them happy and keep my job secure.
I'm sorry this is such as long post. I usually try to keep mine short and sweet to help those who are tired with brain fog trying to read!
I hope you are all having good days.
Lots of hugs to you,