stress

I would imagine stress can make the symptoms worse? I live 400 miles away from my 90yr old parents - went up to see them two weeks ago and was ill for a week after as never good after flying. They live in Glasgow and my mother is going into a care home in Edinburgh near my sisters and my dad has decided to sell his house and move into a tiny retirement flat, which has been on the market for months because of its positioning. My dad is fitter than I am but my sisters have to do so much for him, and then I feel bad. My brother goes when he can but he lives 200 miles away.

Got to the stage where I don't want to speak to any of them as it just makes me so stressed- I know that my dad will hate this flat within a couple of months and so does my brother, but he won't listen and won't look to see if there is anything better.

My back has been bad since Friday and I'm sure there must be a connection from the stress and worry about my mother and whether she will settle into the home as she has Alzheimers and impaired vision and hearing.

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  • Stress does, without a doubt, make the symptoms worse. You have to learn that there are just some problems that you can't fix and your parent's difficulties are one of them. More worryingly is when you say "Got to the stage where I don't want to speak to any of them" I have found through my own experiences and those of others that a lot of us often feel that we have to "shut off" often from those closest to us. I find that if I shy away from people it actually adds a feeling of guilt to my stress so matters just get worse. Do your family understand your health problems? You will be amazed at the difference you can make to them just by talking their problems through with them and by letting your Siblings know that you support them emotionally even if you can't do it physically.

    Sue

  • Feeling a bit better today although my back is still very painful. I have explained to all my relatives what all my conditions are and how they affect me but I only see them two or three times a year so they never see me when I am at my worst.

    Mum is now in her care home and my dad has used his savings to buy a retirement flat which I'm sure he will hate within a couple of months, but that is his problem. I have spoken to my brother and sisters this week and will keep in touch but that's all I can do.

    In the meantime I am trying to adjust to having fibro on top of everything else and carrying on my normal routine. My husband has a very demanding job but is going to drop to four days a week soon as a precursor to retirement so that we can spend more time together.

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