" a strange tale!"

..I don't originate from Yorkshire, but they have a saying in Yorkshire "nowt stranger than folk" well that is so true about the man who lives behind the fence at the back of our garden in a house(we live in a bungalow) ..he has a un-natural obsession with pigeons!!! .. 2 years ago he had a sky-light window put in and he hangs out of that window EVERYDAY!! banging these two lumps of 4 by 2 wood together to scare the pigeons out of the garden, he does it dead on 8am in the morning and once in the early evening

( the 8am session is exactly what I need when I have had barely any sleep; all night!)

... secondly last year I was near our kichen sink talking with my partner(the part of the kitchen that overlooks the garden )when all of a sudden our chat stopped as we saw a very strange sight from (you guessed it!) the other side of the fence it looked like two black bags on a pole going up and down!, we laughed like hell, then i went out for closer observation , well I don't know how I didn't laugh out loud, the man had on a long pole a large black rubber bat (it was massive!!) with huge orange like marble eyes!!( I peered through a hole in the fence and he was chasing up and down his garden with it (I think the pigeons thought we got a right one here bat's don't come out in the day!) ..this happens quite a lot of and on in the day !!

he also has plastic falcon that he keeps moving round and round the garden but the pigeons sit on it frequently!!!( by the way it is hardly Trafalgar square there is only TWO flippin' pigeons!!

now I think the man is in his early 70's but I don't know if you agree but I really think he needs a different hobby, maybe a spot of gardening or say, go swimming , before I ring for the men in white coats for the dude!!

35 Replies

  • Defintely nowt stranger than folk! :-)

  • Oh my word - that's my laugh for the day, I nearly wee'd my knickers! :D

    Your neighbour does sound like a head-case - maybe he should get out more!

    When I lived in Scotland, I used to put some bread out on the windowsill every day, and one or two of the local pigeons would eat from my hand.

    My flat was above a very posh clothing boutique, and one day the owner left me a very rude note, because my friendly pigeons had left 'messages' all down her shop window.

    I had never set foot inside this shop because it was so incredibly expensive, but I went in with some flowers and apologised to her for the inconvenience.

    She was very chilly with me, despite the floral offering, and as I left, she turned to her assistant, and loudly said "My deah - did you EVER see anyone so 'Marks & Spencer'!"

    Well - that was me marked down as a nobody! :O

    Moffy x

  • Haha! If that was the best insult she could think of - SHE needs to get out more! :-D

  • Very funny Moffy.

    Don't you just love these sort of people?

    All perfume and dirty knickers!!

    Bibi x

  • pity you didnt think to say "clothes do not maketh the man my deah". lol

  • Hahaha! Everyone needs a hobby - perhaps its time he found a new one! Alien-spotting maybe?

  • OMG can you capture it on a phone and post it on here that would be sooooo funny to watch


    Looks very guilty.... Before we moved to the bungalow we lived next door to a man who had a vicious dog that jumped the fences and chased me into the shed , the kitchen .... To no avail would he share payment for a higher fence so we went ahead and built it ... his bedroom had a flat roof ... So at 7am every morning I would throw bread onto his bedroom roof and the seagulls decended in large groups

    Yours unrepentantly :D

    VG x

  • .. to be honest I think the only thing that really will keep the pigeons away is if he keeps singing Elvis Presley songs in a dodgy key(did I not tell you? the guy also thinks he sounds like Elvis (more like a cat in a blender!!!) don't think he is going to get many offers with his rendition of "love me tender" I want to love him tender WITH A B***Y MACHETE!!!


    hey, wait a minute (I am plotting !) methinks,if I could make my secret hole in the fence slightly bigger and film it all and put it on youtube.. I could make some serious dosh!! not sure if that is a affringment on his human rights but what about the infringement I have to suffer at 8am with wood lumps being smacked together!!! and having to peel myself off the ceiling every morning!!(it isn't even that he is single and bored ,he has a wife,i partially blame her ,she should be finding him some d.i.y to do !!!)

  • just a thought. he may have a thing about feeding other garden birds but if like here, pigeons nick all the food he might resent that. they are greedy birds,I have someone behind me who keeps racing pigeons. i know he feeds them but you can guarantee if ive got stuff on my bird table they will drive off the little birds and eat the lot.not that i sympathise with your neighbour if that's the case, they are still birds.

  • It think his wife should take the two lumps of wood and bang them together with his head inbetween ... Problem solved no dodgy singing and no more wood banging..... Unless ..... He is doing it because his wife has a phobia of pigeons .... :o

    VG x

  • This is what I do with pigeons. :)

  • You cook them .... I thought you would have pounced and eaten them raw

    Do you eat moths too ?????

  • Come off it VG, I am fully domesticated. :)

  • sorry to butt in esagestapo, but any animal that licks its own backside ,doesn't sound domesticated to me!!!, although I am interested in your pigeon recipe then I could the weird pigeon man and his wife for tea, then tell them afterwards what it was!!! ( oh,slight problem what if they are veggie?, could I say it was quorm?

  • Do you do house work....... Looks hopeful :-/

  • I think we should press our suit, VG - this man can cook too! :P

  • Of course I can cook, I am the chef de cuisine. :)

  • You're really into CATering, obviously! :D

  • Not always, today tea will be served at my local J.D Wetherspoons at approx 5.00pm :)

  • Leaps on mobility scooter and heads off in probably the wrong direction :(

  • Its half price if you order before 5.00pm so don't be late VG, cos you are paying. :)

  • Gahh rushes back home to get purse then sets off in different direction ..... I hope my scooter battery lasts..... :-/

  • ... can offer you a CAT-NAV for your mobility scooter if it helps VG!!!!

  • Thank you EJ .... Does it work like the compass in pirates of the Caribbean it takes you to the cat of your desire.... As I have no idea where I am going :)

  • ...it will certainly get you there ...but methinks somehow you won't be coming back as I think my poor little ol' fishy friend that you may be on the menu....E.J weeps into her hankie at inevitable loss of V.G!!!....

  • p.s can't work out how to put little yellow smileys on ???

  • Pm,d you emoticon lesson :D

  • cheers VG,

  • I hope Esa doesn't eat you, VG - that would be purrfectly awful! :D

  • Me smells a rat here, just married for 24 hours and he, despite our best efforts is clearly trying to lure you to a rather sticky end :D Esa, chase the rat and not the fish, much more sustaining :D then you can sit back and lick your lips, leaving us with our volunteer :D

  • Well I am safe and esagestapo will have to pay for his own food as my cat nav obviously is faulty and I ended up at the co op...

    Heads home sadly :(

  • .. VG I am sorry but I did buy the cat-nav off del- boy trotter!!!!

  • Ohh maybe this time next next year I,ll be a millionaire :D

  • lol, well remember who lent it to you!!

  • Frogs. Mad as box of! V good tho!xx

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