Round #3

[Greenleaves1]

I'm struggling with my mindset at the moment. I know I'm so lucky to be going through another round of ICSI but so far I've had 3 failed IUI and 2 failed ICSI rounds (2 transfers).

I'm finding it difficult to think this round will be any different than before. I have been on additional supplements for 3 months and my AMH (8.5pmol) and AFC (10) is better than it was 18 months ago. So at least that hasn't got any worse.

I'm doing estrogen primary right now and due to start high dose meds this weekend when my period arrives.

I wish I could be more positive about the whole thing.

[GranolaHippo]

No need to be positive. This thing sucks!

No one chooses to have to have IVF.

Cut yourself some slack, be kind to yourself!!

Your feelings about IVF are not the same as your desire to have a baby -you can be fed up of one and not the other.

Also, oestrogen is wild and totally impacts your mood -might be why you're feeling lower, plus January.

Nurture yourself, keep cosy, be kind to you. This too shall pass. xx

[Greenleaves1 in reply to GranolaHippo]

Thank you - I needed to see this xx

[GranolaHippo in reply to Greenleaves1]

No worries at all. We all need a reminder that it sucking is what led to IVF, so we don't have to be cheery in the throes of it.

Toxic positivity can do one, all about the healthy gloom, me!

[Greenleaves1 in reply to GranolaHippo]

Healthy gloom lol I love this!

[Marmar68]

your AMH and AFC is great there is still hope and the fact that they have even improved it’s great, try and focus what you have 🙏

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Marmar68]

Thank you 🙏🙏

[Purplecarrot]

I was in a similar situation to you! 2 failed rounds of ICSI, 1x blast both times, both failed. 1x failed round of Clomid, 1x failed round of Letrozole. 3rd round of ICSI we got 4x blasts, the first of which stuck and is now kicking away at almost 25 weeks, with the other 3 in the freezer. Treatment is hard on you, both mentally and physically. Give yourself a break, you're allowed to be having a hard time. That said, it might be your lucky go, so fingers crossed for you!

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Purplecarrot]

That's amazing - did you change anything for round 3 to get that number of blasts?

[Purplecarrot in reply to Greenleaves1]

I changed clinic from one here in Ireland to one in Czech Republic, as my consultant here has recommend general anaesthetic but I couldn't have it here. So there were a few differences. No down reg, I was on Clexane the whole time, and some of the stims meds were slightly different. I also had 2x trigger shots. Had 3x triggers at transfer which was new (2x before, one after). We used MACS for sperm selection this time, and we did embryo glue and I had acupuncture (in the clinic) pre and post transfer. For myself, I took the IVF advanced regimen of supplements as per the book It Starts With an Egg for about 3 months prior. Husband took Proceive during that time. I had already been working with a dietician, but also started going to a personal trainer/the gym 3 days a week. I really wanted to feel like I'd left no stone unturned this time, so I couldn't say which of the above had the biggest impact or if it was a case of everything just working together, but I definitely had a much better experience with Prague. I'd had failed sedation twice here and the whole thing was far more relaxed and less traumatic going abroad, even adding travel into the mix!

[Moshine13]

Infertility is a mind fuck, I was in such a dark place when I had to do my second cycle, even more when I did my third transfer...I felt it was never going to be me, I was depressed and hopeless, I did the transfer as I just thought, what else am I going to do? And then.....the transfer worked! I am currently 14 weeks pregnant 🥹This journey take so much of you, please cit yourself some slack. It is ok to feel like this sometimes, what you are going through is pretty shit and very very though.

Sending loads of love your way and wishing you the best ♥️ x

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Moshine13]

Thank you for your message and congratulations on your pregnancy. Gives me hope xx

[Pineappletree]

The medications definitely impact your mood so don't beat yourself up. I was just like you and we are not alone in this. Three failed transfers for me so far so I'm getting less positive about if it would ever work for me. It takes so much out of us but at meantime, be proud f of yourself. Whoever in this tough and long IVF journey, it must be an amazing and brave person.❤️

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Pineappletree]

Thank you - that's very kind. I hope you get your happy ending xx

[Tippyt]

you have 100% got this girl! Don’t let doubt creep in, stay positive and everything will fall in to place 💕💙

[Greenleaves1 in reply to Tippyt]

Tryinggggg very hard lol xx

[OnRoundEleven]

Just wanted to send a big virtual hug, and say you're not alone. IVF is tough. Be kind to yourself - it's a long hard road.

The other thing I'd like to say from my experiences and those of some friends is that we never had success on the first or second go. Often it is the 4th or 5th attempt or so. My son came from my 5th transfer (and 7th cycle to produce eggs). I've often wondered if I'm crazy, trying again and again hoping for a different outcome, but I've decided I'm brave instead!! Your body is different month to month, as hormones ebb and flow, etc. Fingers crossed, you'll get there. Good luck.