Hi we are undergoing nhs treatment for reciprocal IVF as we are a same sex female couple. Our first round of treatment failed with 1 fresh 5bb embryo and then we tried with our 4bb frozen, but both didn't take. Our second round has just failed with 5 eggs being retieved 4 mature 3 fertilised but didn't make it past day 3. I'm 39 in December and I'm so scared that I won't be able to use my eggs, for fear that I use up our 3rd NHS cycle.
I'm at a loss, and my wife is gutted so it's difficult to talk to her, it's just so raw as we only got the news this morning that all the eggs were being discarded.
not sure what to do now. I just don't want to think that this is the end of the road with it being my eggs that we use. I now frantically looking through private treatment (even clinics in spain) but I don't know the first thing about any of it.
just so gutted 😢
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lilleyofthevalley
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Hi lilleyofthevalley. Oh you poor couple, this is upsetting beyond belief. To let the embryos go, they must have thought even Day 3 little ones weren’t viable. You’ve both obviously tried so hard, and unfortunately you can’t do anything about what has happened. Perhaps you can use your wife’s eggs, I don’t know. I’m hoping someone here will be able to point you both to another clinic via PM. Hoping next time is your time, both of you. Diane
Diane, Thank you for reaching out. we haven't had a review yet with the consultant but I think that's what they will suggest. I'm just worried I've missed the boat with my eggs!
I’m so sorry to hear that 😢 that must be so hard to hear for both of you. I’m not sure if it’s an option but has the consultant spoken to you about using your partners eggs perhaps next time for your last round perhaps? I think that’s the road we are going to go down next as my eggs haven’t worked (even though we have managed to get 1 good blast by the skin of our teeth!) it has either been BFN or miscarriage so think it’s my egg quality. We’ve had to stick to UK clinics because abroad won’t accept our donor but there are lots of options after nhs to explore. Sending strength x 💜
hi, Thank you for sharing its so hard isn't it! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I think that's what the consultant will suggest at our review, it's just that everything takes so long to get going..
I'm just so scared that I've missed the boat with my own eggs..
There are different options you can try for your eggs- we had success with my eggs a few years ago but now trying for a sibling it’s been so different my response and we have probs my tried with mine one or two times more than the consultant suggested, I am having one more go with mine but at the same time my wife is prepping to take over on the egg retrieval side of things and I feel that has taken some of the pressure off me for the next round knowing there are other options for us. It’s best to go in with lots of questions for the consultant in both options is my experience and if you know both your AMHs etc that can also help xx
I have also experienced 2 failed rounds of ivf and two failed rounds of IUI last year. IVF has became my life and it’s very difficult to understand when you haven’t been through it. My first round I got 7 eggs and only one made it to embryo but didn’t form a full blastocyst. The 2nd one I was suppressed this time over two months the full procedure. I got 9 eggs and 8 fertilised, to my amazement I was on cloud 9 full of positivity. I then went to the hospital which said only one was viable again which similar thing happened it slowed down after day 3 and hadn’t completely made it but we held on to that and still believed we had a chance. I took all the right supplements drank water ate healthish. I thought this was our chance. It is truly heartbreaking. We are taking a well deserved break from this all having a holiday as we have put one off for years doing fertility treatment. I’m also terrified to go in with the 3rd round as this will be the last funded one.
Wish you well and hope reading this you know you’re not alone and the more you read you see alot of people in the same boat. I wish we all had the answer but don’t lose faith 😊
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story, it's quite comforting to know that both of us are going through similar situations..IVF is all consuming, it lives rent free in my head all of the time. Even at night when I can't switch off.
it's good that you have a holiday to focus on, and use the time to reconnect as a couple, because even although you are doing this process together it can feel like you are doing it very much on your own, so it will be good to connect again with each other..
that's a great amount of eggs retrieved on both rounds so that in itself is a positive. .
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