Another childless Christmas ❤️ still hopeful though 🎄

[Klndmr]

Hey lovely ladies hope you are all well. I haven't been on the site for a while as I was trying to just get on with life and in the meantime try one more time. 😁So for those who know me are aware of my journey. After my loss a year and a half ago I had two hysteroscopies, immune testing, hubby had immune testing too and no findings again. So nobody knows why I'm keep losing every single pregnancy.

So I made decision to try with donor eggs, as I thought maybe my eggs were defective 😂 I went to North Cyprus with a clinic called Dunya.

The whole experience was brilliant, no stress, no nerves. Prior to the donors EC me and hubby had a weeks holiday there travelling around, drinking some wine and trying many nice restaurants.

We've had 13 eggs from our donor, 10 fertilised and we had 8 great quality embryos on day 5.

We've transfered two and froze the rest for future use.

So here I was pregnant again but this time everything was going great. Hcg went over 31 000 and I was like that's it we did it. And of course we didn't...

At 6 and a half weeks started with some bleeding, HCG was still going strong, progesterone was slightly low so doc doubled my doses and added some progesterone in oil too.

At my 7 weeks scan we saw two beautiful sacs, one slightly smaller and no heartbeat on both but they gave me another week and then one more but the pregnancy stopped developing at this pint and I opted for Vacuum and we sent pregnancy tissue for testing. Apparently the embryos were perfectly helahty girls.

Soo again stuck in the dark and don't know what to do. I've had a consultation with a diagnostic reproductive specialist back home. He prescribed me with some aspirin to improve the blood flow in my uterus and steroids to replace the aspirin if I have a positive pregnancy test. He also suggested natural FET as some new research are against Estrogen supplements being used with FET.

I was told off for using DE as he said I have such good AMH and follicles. But I don't mind tbh donor eggs or not the embryos I have are mine and nothing can make me change the way I feel.

So don't really know the point of the post but I just wanted to share if anyone has any wise words to advise cause I'm really running out of ideas here.

Lots of love to you all and hope you have a great festive season ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Positivechangeplease]

so glad to see a post from you in any case, as I feel we’re friends of a sort even though we’ve never met!

All I can say is I felt a lot better when I did my naturally modified FET compared to the medicated one. I felt like my body was getting ready and knew what to do when not under the influence of drugs. But we’ll never know really. It’s so hard and I’m crossing all fingers for you. So glad you don’t have an issue with donor eggs as it’s a more open door for you. Progesterone is your friend and I feel oestrogen not always. Hugs and hope the new year brings lovely things for you xx

[Klndmr in reply to Positivechangeplease]

Aww thank you for your reply hun. I getting more and more people supporting the natural modified FETs and I think that's what I'll be looking at next time I decide to proceed with a transfer.

How are you? Hope everything is well ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Positivechangeplease in reply to Klndmr]

Yes everything well with me. I’m glad you and your hubby are still okay after all this time. I’ll watch your journey and be there for support xx ❤️

[Chel91]

Sending lots of love! ❤️ Have you ever looked into maybe getting a laparoscopy with an endo specialist? I joined the Nancy's Nook FB group to see their surgeon list, which is what I decided after trying 10 ivf embryos plus natural loss. I probably would have also gone down the donor route, but I was only in my 20s so I felt realistically that it wasn't an embryo issue. Also the Reproductive Immunology Support FB group also has so many good ideas. It really helped me. Have you been on clexane for most of your cycles? xx

[Klndmr in reply to Chel91]

Thank you for your reply and suggestions ❤️ I actually follow quite a few Facebook groups too and read for the immune protocols. I've been on clexane, aspirin, I did intralipids too. But the diagnostic docote I saw said clexane and aspirin aren't a good idea as I always bleed ❤️

[soccerkt6]

Hi lovely, apologies if I've asked this before but I can't remember - have you done the Female Microbiome test from Fertilysis? It tests for a whole range of infections in the vaginal and uterine biomes, which have been linked to rpl. It's much more comprehensive than the biopsies they take during hysteroscopies. xx

[Klndmr in reply to soccerkt6]

I think you did mention it before but I never got to do it. Will see what my doctor has in mind for my next transfer and take it from there. Hope you are well x ❤️

[puppylove73]

I don’t really have much wise words for you except that I just want to hug you tight! You were there with great news and I just hope someday soon your dream will materialize. I am always rooting for you and whispering wishes everytime I read your posts that someday you will hold your baby/babies in your arms. Hope is a good thing. I’m 51 with 2 year olds. Who would have thought…? Sending you loads of baby dust and love. ❤️

[Klndmr in reply to puppylove73]

Awww hugs back right at you too. 51 with a 2 year old sound great! Age is just a number anyway ❤️😊😊😊😊I never lost hope and I hope I won't. We all have our down and dark moments but as long as we are able to rise again and fight it's all good 🌞❤️❤️❤️❤️

[CardiGrey]

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to send you lots of love. I know this time of year can be extremely difficult for those of us who are still waiting for it to be our turn. I think the start of year we can turn that into a positive and think 2025 could be the year that we get to become parents. I wish you all the best for 2025 and I’m so sorry for your loss xx

[Boo718]

hello, I have been thinking about you sooo much. This is just soo cruel. I’m soo amazed by your strength. I had aspirin and steroids (quite a high steroid dose too) in the run up to transfer together. Plus started with progesterone oil twice a day.

I really wish someone could get to the bottom of this for you. My heart just broke when I was following you on here.

You have to stay strong xxx

[Axel131]

HI Klndmr, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses, it's so hard. I don't know your exact circumstances of your losses but I know one of my fellow Momma had losses of PGT-A tested embryos and she was on steroid protocols/thinners too and immunology testing was fine. Because they knew the embryos were fine, they were thinking that it had to be environment. They eventually discovered that it was something called CHI (Chronic histiocytic intervillositis) which is where the body attacks the placenta and therefore causes miscarriages. Now it's incredibly rare so more than likely not it but I'm just throwing it out there for you to keep in the back of your mind. Unfortunately it can only be diagnosed with the placenta of the miscarriages which they probably didn't keep. Also to add that this Momma went on to have a beautiful healthy girl once she was diagnosed with this and put on the correct protocol with transfer. Really wishing you find some answers xx

[Alexie07]

have you considered a surrogate with your embryos?

[Applepie7]

I have been thinking of you and I just wanted to say I'm so amazed at how strong ans resliant you are I don't have any advise on next steps but I just wish 2025 is your year. I'm sending you lots of love and positive energy! Will keep you in my prayers . 💛

[Sweethear]

hey, nice to hear from you and to know you have not given up. I am sorry for all what you are going through I hope and pray the universe bless you this coming year with your bundles of joy and wipes away all your pain worries and tears keep being strong and positive for your time of joy has come lots of hugs to you and your husband

[Cinderella5]

Hey lovely, sorry to hear that you've both had to go through another loss. My only other thoughts are if you can convince your docs to out you on high amounts of progesterone at the start and steriods are a great shout too. Thinking of you and sending massive hugs.xxx

[HedgehogMad]

I'm so sorry to read this, you are so strong and also so supportive to everyone in this community. I really wish you all the luck in the world and hope that next year is your year ❤️❤️❤️ I do know that endometriosis can be a cause of recurrent miscarriage - it does mean an operation to diagnose and treat though, but might be worth asking your doctor about.

It's not a choice for everyone but after recurrent implantation failures our friend offered to be our surrogate and it worked first time, she is now 23 weeks pregnant with our embryo. I know of others who had success through surrogacy after recurrent miscarriages too. Of course this route adds a lot of complexities but thought it worth mentioning as the success rates are high if you have good quality embryos.

Sending lots of love to you xx

[Heyaaaaaaaaa]

I am feeling like it’s me writing this post , same story and same outcomes and no success yet so this time we decided to get in touch with a RI to see what is the issue and they found few , have no success yet but I would say to get in touch with a good RI and wait for few months and then start again , no success story yet but am getting ready for another collection and also Hysteroscopy next year and see what happens, I wish you all the best and absolutely love your courage , for some people like us the waiting is a bit long but hopefully we will get there xx

[Victoria357]

So sorry for what you are going through, I know exactly how you feel. Lost my precious boy at 24 weeks and then 3 miscarriage. Had every test I could think of and finally had the Fertilysis microbiome test done and this has been the only answer and potential causes for my losses. I see someone also mentioned it above, you should 100% get this done. I'm finally clear with my 3rd retest after a month of antibiotics and probiotics, transfer in January 🤞🏽🌈 xx

[Endofitall]

I hope next Christmas will be the one. So sorry for all you have faced. We are one resilient group of women for sure.

Have your embryos been PGTA tested? I would definitely look at microbiome testing - I did EMMA/ALICE endometrial biopsy but more recently did a DAYE test which was cheaper and more convenient.

Wishing you lots of strength 💪

[Coming_up_Roses]

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I had a missed miscarriage last year with donor eggs - very strong HCG and a heartbeat briefly seen at 6 weeks but started getting bleeding episodes and lost them. Testing showed I had low LADs which may have caused the miscarriage, and high NKs. I've been on Dr Trevor Wing's protocol of mushrooms/ herbs and so far it looks like it's working for my immune markers. And I'll also be on intralipids next time. I'm hoping to do transfer number 4 in February.Wishing you so much luck this time, I really hope this is your time. Christmas can be so hard when childless and longing for a child, I feel that very much too, but I think also there's some hope and magic in the air. ⭐ ✨

[Twiglet2]

😢 that must have been so difficult you are amazing to get to that point and your strength is incredible, I really hope you get some answers and 2025 is your year! 💜✨

[Crazycatlady007]

hellooo I couldn’t just scroll past this and not comment. Just wanted to pass on my best wishes and wish you allllllll the luck that 2025 is your year. I admire your strength and resilience - thank you for sharing x

[Littleschnauzer]

Klndmr,I don't have any words of advice but just wanted you to know I'm sure everyone on this forum is wishing you and hubby all the luck in the world. You radiate happiness and strength and your positive outlook has been a huge miss on this forum. Its our turn to send this back to you 💕🧡 xx

[butterfliez]

Hi I am so very sorry you have faced further losses , you both have been through so much & I often wondered how things were going for you. It’s just heartbreaking that you are here again & I only wish that in the future something changes, wether that means more testing or a different approach to to the next transfers (sorry I can’t offer any advice here) but will always be here to offer support as we all wish for you to have success ❤️.

It always amazes me how positive & relentless you have been through all of your treatments & losses. You are remarkable you should be so proud of yourself as it takes so much strength going through all of this.

Please never lose hope it is what keeps us all going on this path.

Although I am on the other side I often come on here to see how others are getting on & wish for success to each and every one of you lovely ladies.

Please take care & wishing you every ounce of luck for the next steps. Xx

[Mahriya]

I just wish I could hug you and hold you tight. You’re amazing. That’s all I got to say ❤️❤️❤️

[COAGMS]

I’m so sorry that you and your husband suffered another loss, this journey can be so cruel. I just pray 2025 is your time, I don’t have any advice I’m afraid but keep hold of your hope sending you all my love xxx

[HollyT7]

Happy new year beaut! You are no doubt going to smash this year in the face and we are behind you all the way! ❤️🤞🏼🍀

[Hopeful80]

Thinking of you and hoping and praying this is your year. Xx

Sending you hugs x