I hope this update is reassuring for people who are struggling. I have had some really dark times with infertility and sometimes I valued seeing messages like these, other times I struggled. Whichever camp you are in I get it but I did want to come on and give an update as I have had so much support on here over several years.
Our journey TTC started back in 2019 and we did eventually conceive naturally but experienced a miscarriage. As it had been a year of trying, we decided to pursue IVF but were on hold due to covid. We discovered through testing that my ovarian reserve was really low for my age (33 at the time) which was a huge blow.
When clinics reopened we had our first round and I got 0 eggs collected. Devastated. But we continued with more rounds. The maximum I ever got was 6 eggs. We had a whopping 7 rounds of IVF in total. We tried embryo batching which was tough because of such low numbers of eggs. First transfer failed. Second transfer failed. Third transfer took but at 12 week scan there were serious issues discovered and further tests revealed Trisomy 18.
This was the hardest part of our journey with truly darkened days. Having to terminate a wanted pregnancy is trauma that cannot be put in to words.
After this devastating experience we opted for genetic testing of all collected embryos. More failed cycles. Abnormal embryos. We got a single PGTA tested normal embryo which failed to implant. All other tested embryos over multiple cycles all abnormal. We had one remaining embryo from an earlier cycle which we transferred one year ago. It took but later also miscarried. Amongst all of this we also tried Reproductive immunology testing- IVIG, intralipids, steroids, aspirin, clexane. A huge bundle of stuff.
At this point I felt I could not continue down the path of IVF with own eggs and that donor eggs would give us our greatest chance. We consulted with various clinics, went to a donor event and signed up to Donor Conception Network. I was struggling with the idea of using a donor but the support groups were good and I felt after so much pain felt it was time to consider a change of direction. Donor eggs felt like the right way to go to maximise our chances
We had pretty much selected our donor egg clinic when I had the shock of my life. I discovered I was naturally pregnant. After so much sadness for so long I was convinced something would go wrong. For the entire pregnancy I was having regular checks, under consultant led care, and often phoning the help line for support. Infertility stole from me the ability to ever feel things could be okay.
But I had my son 2 weeks ago, he arrived safely and is healthy. I love him dearly.
I truly hope this does not trigger anyone as I know reading success stories can be difficult for those in the midst of things. But I also hope that I can provide some sense of hope to those who find themselves in turmoil with infertility.
I am always happy to help if anyone relates to my experiences whether that be low reserve, TFMR or anything else. My message box is always open.
The support I have had on here has been invaluable and for that I will always be grateful.
X x
Written by
Skittles11
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I just wanted to pass on my congratulations to you and your family. I am so pleased for you, having read the struggles you have been through over the past few years.
Congratulations on the arrival of your miracle! Your post brought tears to my eyes but my tears aren't from sandess but from happiness that one more battle with the cruel infertility has been won! I'm very happy for you and I wish with all my heart that from now on your life is full of health, happiness, laughter and beautiful moments with your family!
Sending lots and lots of love your way and kisses and hugs for your little miracle ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations Skittles. I'm so happy for you. We spoke a bit back when I was also trying. Sadly my journey ended after my last loss and I'm now hoping to adopt. Km so very pleased to hear your happy news xxxx
huge congratulations Skittles on the arrival of your rainbow baby ! I’m glad to read things have worked out for you in the end. I hope you’re both doing well , enjoy this new adventure xx
I am so happy to see your news! Thank you so much for sharing this. Today‘s a dark day and your story definitely gives me a glimmer of hope to keeping going ❤️
Congratulations Skittles on the arrival of your little miracle. I'm so glad to read this wonderful news after all you have gone through. It does give hope to many of us who are still on the infertility journey. I hope both you and your little one are doing well. Enjoy this new journey of motherhood xx
I am so happy for you even though it didn't ever work out for me. Please know that your son has an e-godmother that wishes him and you a lifetime of happiness xx
HOOOOORAY!!! Massive congratulations to you all!! This is the best news Skittles! I am so so thrilled he is here! Best news ever. Enjoy every sleepless night, you so deserve it xx
Congratulations I am so happy for you! I have followed you during your pregnancy as so much of what you were going through seemed so similar to me.. you deserve the best, and I believe you will be the best mama, so cuddle that little one tight tonight and enjoy your beautiful family xxx
congratulations and thank you for sharing, you’ve had to be strong for long time, each of those challenges you had the will to keep on moving. I know everyone journey is different and difficult but show miracles happen.
I’m on 2ww, never pregnant and fourth FET. It’s awful that we suffer in silence but community here is powerful. Xx
My lovely!!!! I am so happy to be reading this and I have been waiting for it!!♥️😍♥️😍♥️😍 I am so sorry you for all your losses: the cycles that didn't work, the embryos that didn't make it, the miscarriages, the child you lost (for me losing a baby/child is the most traumatic thing that can happen to a mum).
I totally agree with you that infertility steals so much from us and the ability to ever feel things could be okay in the end. But I feel that the 'positive' side of infertility (if there is such a thing?!) is that it has made me a better mum and a more compassionate person. I know all children and are special, but if I can say so, some babies are a bit more special than others, especially after such a long difficult journey to get there. You are an incredible mum and your son is very lucky to have you♥️♥️♥️ Enjoy the cuddles, the love, the smiles and the sleepless nights! Sending you big hugs and lots of love your way xxxx
I’ve been waiting for this post!! I’m so happy to hear mum and baby are safe! You’ve been through so much that I truly hope your little boy brings you all the joy you deserve!
Eight months on and I still look at my little girl and cry with happiness and amazement, I’m sure you will be doing the same! My advice now is take in every moment- they don’t stay newborn for long! Savour every night feed even when they are exhausting, I’ve had the best nighttime cuddles like this! Take millions of photos and videos, watching them grow is wonderful. Every milestone is just so amazing!
Congratulations again on your well deserved little family, my inbox is always open- bringing up a baby is also tough so I understand the need for a 3am vent sometimes 😆 xxx
This is the loviest news, such huge congratulations, am so pleased your little one is here safely…..❤️ I to have been waiting for this post, I knew you were a little ahead of me in your pregnancy.
I know we have spoken before and our journeys have been similar in so many ways particularly having experienced TFMR…
I can also relate to being robbed of the joy of pregnancy, currently 36 weeks and every day has been/is a struggle full of fear that somehow some way we’ll receive bad news again at a some point. A lot of time I think how will I cope, how will I get through another week of this fear, but thankfully I have an amazing hospital and support. But seeing that you have got through and are a mummy again to your precious little boy has given me hope that I and we all can get there….
Thank you so much for sharing Skittles11 , as ever the strength from this forum is invaluable and I stand with every women/partner on here wherever you are on this journey. One day at time we can all do this.
Skittles11 this is absolutely wonderful news..... you have had such a challenging journey, now that's behind you and you can focus on the future....go and enjoy your amazing baby bubble 💙💙💙 xxxx
So happy to see this update Skittles!! What a rough journey for you. I imagine that trauma will never leave you but I hope your little boy with help to alleviate some of it. It’s incredible how precious they are when you’ve been through so much. Sending all my love xxx
congratulations Skittles 😍 I often saw your posts coming up and to now read you’ve had a baby is such lovely news. Enjoy your bundle of a miracle to the most ♥️
Huge congratulations to you and welcome to the world to your baby boy. Many years of happiness ahead to make up for the dark times you’ve lived through 🤍
What an incredible journey you’ve been on. Your strength and perseverance are just amazing. Huge, heartfelt congratulations on your little boy! I’m so, so happy for you.
I went down the donor route too, and it gave us our second baby last December. It’s not an easy road, but seeing you share this update is such a reminder of the hope that’s out there. You’ve been such a light on this forum. I’ve seen your comments and advice, and you’ve helped so many people. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s going to mean so much to so many. Sending you all the joy in the world. xx
Aw skittles, this is the news we all love to hear! ❤️❤️❤️ absolutely delighted for you and your beautiful family. It's such a hard journey and you've had it particularly difficult. The memories and triggers of all those tough times seem to hang around but your little baby will soften those a bit now. I know your pregnancy was filled with anxiety - I'm there too, I'm 18 weeks today and just in a constant anxiety battle but seeing this reminds me that miracles can and do happen, just need to take it one day at a time 💙 now just enjoy every day with your little bundle of love ❤️
Skittles11 as you can see from your many many replies, everyone is truly in awe of the strength and determination you have shown throughout your journey. Wishing you all the happiness in the world with this new chapter. Huge congratulations on the birth of your baby boy 💕
I haven’t logged on to this website for a least 2 years. But when I was on here, skittles I remember you so vividly always providing people with shared experiences etc. my heartiest congratulations to see this post! Wonderful news x
Dear Skittles, I have been waiting for this post and finally I can send you my congratulations. I hope your birth experience was good whichever way you choose in the end. I related to some parts of your journey including the fear and anxiety throughout your miraculous pregnancy. Yes, the infertility rollercoaster robs us of enjoying anything before we have our babies safely in our arms. But. It makes us more appreciative mums because we don’t take our babies for granted and cope better with the challenges of being a mum. Enjoy your little baby, the hugs, the firsts and the lasts as he grows. I am truly happy for you, whoever you are out there. xx
Massive congratulations Skittles11! Delighted to see your name pop up and to read this! It has been a tough old journey for sure but you deserve every moment of happiness 😊 Thanks for all the support you have given on here to me and others over the difficult years too xx
congratulations!!! Welcome to your little baby boy 😇🎉 I also remember you from your posts and we’ve been exchanging some messages. It is such delight to read your post 🤗 My journey was nothing close to your one, I only did 3 unsuccessful cycles and now I am pregnant with my second baby girl also naturally 😊which was totally unexpected when I was still breastfeeding the first one 😚 human body is amazing what can do! Wishing you lovely moments with your son! Big hug!
Hi Skittles, so lovely to hear from you, congratulations on the birth of your boy. I remember having a conversation with you on someone else's post early last year! So happy you got your bundle of joy.
So many heartfelt congratulations to you and your family ❤️ , I am so pleased for you. Finally being able to write an arrival post must have felt so emotional too. You are such a lovely lady who has always offered support even during your toughest times I am just so happy that your baby boy arrived safely ❤️
You have been through one hell of a journey. Through all the dark times and struggles you kept on fighting . After fertility treatment failures , losses and trauma it grinds you down & it’s hard to ever believe you will have success in the end , but here you are today ! Your story will give so much hope to others.
Sending all my love & hope you are recovering well. Take care xxx
Wow!!! What a journey. Huge congratulations to you and your husband. I felt like crying reading your story. Wow. I praise God on your behalf. Enjoy your son, now you can relax and enjoy those times that fear stole from you.
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