Cancelled cycle

[Endowarrior36]

My cycle got cancelled today. I'm feeling a bit (lot) down about it. We did back to back cycles with the view to freeze. I'm due to get my fallopian tubes removed around December/ Jan time - I don't yet have a date as this is on the NHS and I was put on the list in July as urgent. Last month we did our first cycle in a clinic in Alicante. 7 eggs collected and 3 made it to blastocyst stage. Doc wants these PGTA tested due to our ages (I'm 36 with endometriosis and my husband is 40). We knew this cycle wasn't going as well. Today (Day 9 of stims) conformed that I had 1 12mm follicle and 3 smaller follicles 2 × 6mm and 1 × 7mm. My hormone bloods were very low too. At this stage in my last cycle everything was so much higher.

Would this cycle being cancelled have anything to do with me being sick and in hospital at the end of August? I was treated for a bowel infection and was given antibiotics. I guess my body has been through a lot the past few months with being sick, round 1 of our cycle in Spain and maybe going so quickly was a bad idea. I had piles during this cycle too - maybe my body has just been screaming at me? Has anyone had any success after a cancelled cycle with very low AMH and having to get surgery to remove tubes?

This is just all so overwhelming and just really tough. Thank you all in advance xx

[Swimming87]

I'm in a different situation but just wanted to say every cycle can we wildly different. My two cycles were three months apart and so different in outcome. I also had a uterine surgery in between and spent a lot of time blaming myself because I started thinking maybe I put myself through too much at once. So I know how you must be feeling . Just know it's unlikely you did anything wrong and These things happen. Having said that if you need a little break you should take it and resume with another cycle once you feel a bit better. Sending love and strength your way x

[Endowarrior36 in reply to Swimming87]

Thank you so much for your lovely reply Swimming87. Isn't it just mad how two cycles can be so different. I do feel bad because going into this cycle I knew I just wasn't feeling great but wanted to "power through" and hopefully have this one ticked off but it just wasn't meant to be this time around.

If you don't mind me asking, was your cycle worse after surgery? Did you go agai ? If so, how long did you wait? Thanks again xx

[Swimming87 in reply to Endowarrior36]

It is so puzzling! My second cycle was after my uterine surgery and it was worse than the first. But I honestly think it is a coincidence and I've been told by doctors the two things are completely unrelated and they see dozens of women having a bad cycle and then a good one and viceversa. I guess I am glad the first one was good because I then went into the second with high hopes. My last cycle was in October. We will do another one in late January mostly because I need a break for my mental health (and my wallet). It's such a waiting game, but if it can help you I did few sessions of therapy this year which really shifted my mindset. I can now live my life alongside my fertility journey and don't feel like this is an obstacle to my happiness anymore. What will be will be!

[Endowarrior36 in reply to Swimming87]

That is such a positive mindset to have. You have done some brilliant work being able to adjust your thinking. I had therapy after our very first round of ivf failed last December. I did it for a few months but didn't find it beneficial. After I was sick on August I had another session which confirmed I didn't find it useful. I think I might need to look for other therapists though as it was only one person I've been to.

It really is mad how cycles can be so different. I am kicking myself that I didn't give my body a break for this cycle - so much money but I can't think of it like that. Totally get what you are saying about giving your mind and wallet a break too. I'm getting surgery through the NHS and I'm afraid of getting called really soon, having to postpone and being put to the bottom of a v long list.

Thank you so much for your reply. I wish you the very best for Jan xxx

[Swimming87 in reply to Endowarrior36]

Hey, I get it. I also started therapy a couple of year ago with someone and it only temporarily helped but then I went back to a very dark place. I find that changing therapist helped massively, my second one was specialized on women's health amongst other things I did EMDR with her. she was a psychologist whilst my first one was "only" a counsellor., I think this made a difference as she had a lot of tools and techniques to try which helped me a lot, generally managed to get much deeper to the core of things and this helped. Don't kick yourself, you did what you thought was right at the time and there would have been no way for you to decide in any other way. Every cycle is different because the cohort of follicles growing at any give time chances, you have no impact on that so there isn't really anything we can do or to blame ourselves for. I wish you all the best in this journey 🌻

[Endowarrior36 in reply to Swimming87]

That's really useful to know. Thank you 🩷 I wish you all the best on this journey too xx

[fidgetmcgee]

I’m so sorry, what a miserable disappointing situation to have the cycle cancelled after everything you’ve been through!

Anecdotally I’ve heard of people having bad cycles after illness but then I’ve also heard of people who were advised to consider waiting after a covid infection but decided not too and had success that cycle so it’s always impossible to know ahead of time how a body will react.

I think it’s really hard to not get caught up in angst and regret about pursuing a cycle in hard times when it doesn’t go well cause there is so much as stake. But if you hadn’t gone with this cycle you could just as easily be overwhelmed by regrets of not trying because you wouldn’t know how it would have gone! So try and take it easy on yourself, you made the best decision you could at the time with the information you had available. You couldn’t have known ahead of time it would be cancelled. It sucks, but be kind to yourself.

Really hope that all goes smoothly for you here out! Fertility treatment is such a brutal journey and you’ve been through so much, wishing for all the luck in the world for you going forward

[Endowarrior36 in reply to fidgetmcgee]

Thank you so much for your lovely reply fidgetmcgee. Very wise words there. Thank you for your luck. I wish you all the best too xx

[Purplecarrot]

Our first cycle was cancelled due to poor response. So upsetting after all the work and all the meds, scans etc. 2nd and 3rd rounds, much better, but issue with collection which meant low numbers retrieved.

Had endo surgery to remove lesions and adhesions between 2nd and 3rd round also.

4th round was brilliant. Excellent response, plenty retrieved, and am 14 weeks pregnant with 3 more embryos in the freezer.

It's so upsetting when you've to cancel, it feels like so much hard work down the drain. But things can and do sometimes go more smoothly the next cycle.

Best of luck!

[Endowarrior36 in reply to Purplecarrot]

Massive congratulations to you Purplecarrot. That is such lovely news that you are now pregnant after all you have been through. It is just horrible when the cycle is cancelled - all the meds and scans just gone.

Can I ask if your AMH was impacted by surgery?

Thanks again xx

[Purplecarrot]

Thank you! Yes, it really does feel like such a waste when you have to cancel!

My AMH was retested between cycles 3 and 4 because we moved clinics. It had increased slightly, from the first reading a couple of years prior. I had been doing supplements, acupuncture, taking metformin (I was also diagnosed with PCOS) and had had the surgery between cycles 2 and 3, so I'm not sure what if any of it impacted that.

It was also almost a year after the surgery when my AMH was retested, so I don't know what my numbers were like shortly after, but I'd think it would be more likely to be to do with being ill as opposed to the surgery, although that's just a guess.

Wishing you all the very best! I know when things weren't going so well for us it was hard not to lose hope, but we got there in the end, so it can happen!