TTW & struggling to keep positive.

[Pinkelephant12]

hey!

Im 31 & Currently in my 2nd TTW, I can test on Monday. Me and my husband have done ICSI. I have endo, one fallopian tube and recently had the surgery to remove the endometriosis.

Ever since I was little iv always talked about being a mum, so it was just typical I guess that I’m struggling with fertility. I’m so maternal, and little can’t wait to bring my own baby home.

-

But I’m really struggling with “seeing it actually happen” .

I want it more than anything else, but I just can’t shift the thought that it’s not going to happen for me.

then I feel bad for thinking that, and because I can’t “manifest it” that I’m not helping matters!!

Surely so many people going through IVF just can’t see it actually happening for them?

(So sorry to sound negative!! I’m genuinely positive about it all, Just wanted to see it anyone else had these feelings!)

[CyclingAddict]

Hey! I think most of us have felt this at some point or other. We started TTC when I was 29, started IVF when I was 30 and finally had success when I was 32 (I'm now 36 weeks pregnant with our ICSI baby). There's so many unknowns in IVF and, for most, it's a long lonely road. For me personally, I was a lot more negative in the beginning. I wasn't sleeping, I was having mood swings and anxiety attacks and I was constantly grieving for the family I didn't have. I'm not sure what happened, but about a year and a half ago something clicked. It was like my brain had made the decision that I couldn't continue not sleeping and feeling super down. I had kinda dissociated from it all. At my last embryo transfer, I can't say I was super optimistic. Unlike the times before, I didn't take any pictures. It just felt like I was going through the motions. So imagine my surprise when I found out it had worked.

What you're feeling to totally natural. It's a rollarcoaster of emotions. The TWW is also really difficult, so don't be hard on yourself. You might go through months of feeling negative and months of being more positive. It's all part of this difficult journey.

Sending you luck x

[Kitkat10]

hi, I felt exactly the same and I felt really fearful that I would be one of the few it didn’t work for. But for the vast majority of people who want a baby, their baby comes 💖

I felt negative throughout, I was a terrible version of myself and really struggled with anxiety and just a feeling of frustration and hopelessness. But… on my worst round for numbers (3 eggs collected) I got my little boy 🩵

I was 41 when he was born so much older than you are so my chances were much lower than yours. You’ve given yourself plenty of time and your chances are good. Just got to hang in there through the process and get through it the best you can trying to keep your mental well being in tact. It’s really tough and it’s really natural to think the worst when you want something so much. Keep going, you’re doing brilliantly xx 🍀🍀

[Booda21]

Good luck with your test, hope you have had some good news, I really do 🤞🌟.

Can totally relate to everything you’ve said, I’m about to have my 10th embryo transfer from my 3rd collection, and obviously at this point I’m like, am I just torturing myself?! I have moments of ‘I have a good feeling this time’ and then that little niggling voice in the background says don’t be so stupid, be realistic. It’s such a hard line to tow, as you want to protect yourself, but like you say also manifest those good vibes! Anyway I’m rambling on. Thinking of you 🌸

[Crie1983]

Hi, apart from being 10 years older than you, I could have written this post. I’m 41 and after 6 transfers (5 failed & 1 miscarriage) I had given up all hope and was convinced I’d never get my positive. I pretty much entered each TWW feeling so negative. After my 7th transfer I got my positive and am now 25 weeks pregnant. I know it’s so tough but hang on in there and try to believe it will happen to you. You are amazingly strong for going through this. Wishing you all the best for your test tomorrow. Xx

[Doodlebug23]

I could have almost written both yours and Crie1983’s posts! Hang in there and keep that manifesting going! You will get there eventually!

[Flowergirlhope]

Hey - I'm in the wait too.....had FET on Thursday....but test day isn't unit 25th....so bit later than yours.Firstly so hope it's positive news for you tomorrow 🙏

I'm exactly the same age as you (31), also have endo😑 and we have done ICSI......this is our 3rd FET....really praying for our miracle this time but feeling bit like you......just cant help thinking it all over too much. Like you just keep dreaming of that positive test result, after 8 years of TTC.

I'm trying to keep level about this one....but it's not really working 😔 I've been in quite alot of discomfort with period like pain and also lower back pain which started Friday....just so nervous this is going to go wrong too! Trying not to Google too much. I'm on Cyclogest, steroids, intrilipids and Fragmin.

Keep going your strong🤗and really hope you get that lovely positive tomorrow. Keep us posted (if you feel like it)

Xx

[Darcy1996]

goodness I hear you! I’ve had 2 failed ivf rounds, currently taking a break before our third & final and I remember saying to my acupuncturist that I was scared I wasn’t manifesting a baby with my fear bordering on negativity. She said “it’s a lovely idea that you can manifest your way out of infertility darkness, but in reality it’s a medical process, and over to the team and genetics, you can’t think it into a failure”…which I really needed to hear so I’m passing it on! Best of luck for tomorrow ✨💜✨

[Pinkelephant12]

Thank you so much everyone for replying. Honestly some of your reply’s brought tears to my eyes!!

I guess it’s really nice to be heard & understood too!

Congratulations for those who got your positive results and sending lots of love to those of you waiting for it still .. fingers crossed for those in the TWW too!

Im so pleased it’s not just me, but also pleased I can’t “ruin things by thinking the wrong thing” as it definitely feels like that sometimes!

I’ll keep you all updated, the thought of doing a test in the morning actually makes me wanna throw up 😂 I had a chemical pregnancy last year so the testing situation just gives me the dread! I think that’s why I’ll never test early again… I’d rather live in denial and test a week later then too early! 😭

Sending lots of love & thanking you all for taking your time to make me feel better ❤️🥰 xx