Advice needed IVF

[JerseyGirl2420]

Hi everyone! I'm new here and in the US and need to vent to those who understand what I'm going through (as my friends don't). I apologize for the long post.

I'm 39. My bf is 42. We met later in life when I was 36. He has two kids from a previous marriage when he was 20 and 28. Before we met his doctor found he had low testosterone in bloodwork and put him on TRT, which killed his sperm.

We began trying September of 2022. I became pregnant in January, however miscarried at 7 weeks. Continued trying. In June, we went to Shady Grove as we have had no luck. After all the testing. his SA showed 1 sperm. They put him on Clomid, Tamoxifen and Pregynl. My testing came back "normal". AMH is 1.66 and an AFC of 16. Doctor gave us a 90% chance of the first round working because "you have the easiest problem to fix with IVF". Looking back, I was stupid to believe this.

*First retrieval: Antagonist protocol. 8 eggs retrieved. 5 fertilized with ICSI. All 5 embryos were cavitating on day 5, then arrested. This lead me to believe an issue with the sperm (his analysis from the retrieval now showed 12 million sperm). We ended up switching doctors at Shady Grove as we were not happy with things the doctor said after the retrieval ("how much more money do you have to spend?")

Met with the new doctor. Seemed impressed by him as he came highly regarded from friends and people from around the US come to him for treatment. Went through everything with him. He told us this retrieval, we have a 78% chance of coming home with a baby. We pressed from a Sperm DNA fragmentation test, doctor said there is no reason for it.

*Second retrieval: Microdose Lupron Flare protocol. 11 eggs retrieved. 2 fertilized normally with ICSI and Zymot. Doctor calls and now says it is a sperm issue, but we will transfer the 2 embryos on day 5. Stated he will now do the Sperm DNA fragmentation test as well.

Was getting ready for the transfer today and Shady Grove calls stating the transfer is canceled as the embryos are compact and will give them 2 more days. I asked the nurse what does compacting mean...she said she didn't know and hung-up. No compassion or empathy at all. SMH. Doctor called later today and said...we have to now use sperm donor and embryo donor as they do not know what our issue is and he does not have an answer for us. He stated our other option is to not have kids, "depending on what your pocketbook says". This PISSED us off. How do you go from it's a sperm issue to that? We started firing questions at him and he said we can ask those in person as he doesn't have our chart and he was only calling to say sorry. So why are you already counting out our embryos if they have 2 more days? I know the chances are slim, but at least be hopeful! Shady Grove has been a nightmare since day 1, especially their finance dept. We're ready to look for a new clinic.

I was looking to see if anyone had any similar experiences or suggestions at this point as pur embryos always make it to the 'cavitating' stage then stop.

[Chel91]

Hi, and welcome! I'm sorry you're going through this. I've not had this specific issue myself so I don't know much about it. But I'd definitely look into changing clinics if you feel unsupported. I changed clinics twice and it was the best thing I've ever done. Maybe seeing an andrologist that specializes in fertility might help to get another opinion too. x

[JerseyGirl2420 in reply to Chel91]

Thank you! I don't get how the doctor goes from one extreme to another

[Chel91 in reply to JerseyGirl2420]

I was told lots of "lies" by doctors. I think it just makes them feel better for their part in the failure. I was told by doctors that my eggs were probably just really bad quality for some unknown reason. Then my 3rd clinic I got literally 20 blastocysts (my first clinic I got 3 blastocysts, the next clinic I got 0 and then did a cycle to just grow them to day 3). I think their labs and protocols were obviously at fault. My new clinic are so much better. Don't give up xx

[Nabsal]

I am very sorry to hear all this. This journey is damn hard seriously. Please start give him proxeed men and ubiquional 200mg solgar and vitamin E complex also you take as well same like proxeed women as well others things same. Also give him NAC it’s good for DNA fragmentation.

[JerseyGirl2420 in reply to Nabsal]

He already takes coq10, iron, NAC and is prescribed clomid, tamoxifen and pregnyl.

I also take coq10, prenatal, iron, vitamin d and melatonin

I'm honestly starting to think it's the lab at our clinic

[Nabsal]

could be if you want to change just change it.

[JerseyGirl2420 in reply to Nabsal]

We are..