need advice ❤️

[Natasha2012]

lovely ladies I am really struggling with what to do next after my two failed transfers in the last three months . I have one C grade embryo left . Untested and at a clinic where they feel like no further investigations are necessary before the third failed transfer . Really offhand review consultation and make me feel like I was overreacting .

I have been told I can have a scratch next month and then a natural fet in April ( failed fet was medicated )

I had a really good consultation with another clinic today who said they would investigate me and put my on a higher stims to do another collection , the investigation would follow the egg collection ,

I’m 38 in June and really want to get going . What would you do ? Test the embryo before transfer ? Il be waiting til April to do this transfer so valuable time really potentially wasted . Or change clinic and start from scratch .

Thank you 😊

[Doodlebug23]

This little embryo could be just waiting for you to grow it into a little baby 💖

[Darcy1996 in reply to Doodlebug23]

🌈💜

[Natasha2012 in reply to Doodlebug23]

I hope and pray ❤️ hope you are ok x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Natasha2012]

I will be. Just need to get on with it I guess… x

[Eggfreezer2015]

Do you have more of a gut instinct towards one of the options? Is it possible to take your embryo to the new clinic, if they are willing to do more investigations? Then decide if you want to implant it based on their results, or get more eggs and then test this embryo alongside your new embryos? I know I’m posing questions rather than answers but hoping that it’s helpful to consider in your decision making process. X

[HollyT7]

if you have the funds I’d transfer then test.

[Natasha2012 in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you for the advice ❤️ so difficult to know what to do xxx

[Christianbaby]

I'd go with the clinic that would do investigations. This is actually what we did after failed transfers with our first clinic. Good luck! xx

[PinkCat22]

hello. Firstly I’m so sorry to hear about the failed transfers ❤️

What is your instinct? I know changing clinics feels daunting but it was the best thing I ever did. Im not pregnant btw, so I’m speaking purely in terms of the FAR better egg collection experience AND the testing they want to do before putting an embryo in (I had a failed transfer in July 23).

Ultimately you have to go with your gut (though it gets hard to listen to during this process, right?), but dismissive doctors are maybe not what you need?

How hard is the process to transfer your embryo to a new clinic and to get all your medical notes from them? My old clinic took a month to get all the notes to me, so worth bearing in mind.

Thinking of you and I hope whatever decision you make you get a smoother road ahead.

Lots of love x

[Chowlady14]

I’ve just had the worse 18 months with a clinic that I wasn’t happy with (7 cancelled cycles, 3 failed transfers with tested embryos and 1 that didn’t survive the thaw) I knew in my gut that we should have changed clinics a long long time ago but was so desperate and because we had 3 good graded embryos preserved. I just prolonged my pain. We’ve now moved to a new clinic and have a consultation next week and after initial tests already feel more comfortable and supported. Trust your gut would be my advice. Can you maybe move clinics, start the process and in the mean time test the remaining embryo? If it’s strong and good would you be able to refreeze and maybe return to it in the future? Good luck with whatever you decide. I’m 37 so I know how you feel about time. In the last 18 months I’ve wasted my AMH has literally dropped off a Cliff from 25 to 10 so time for me was not on my side xxx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Chowlady14]

Sorry to hear that . It’s the worst feeling isn’t it . I have spent so much money and now I’m just waiting around til April . I think I might start some investigations at the new clinic while waiting for the transfer. The consultants think it’s just my age . I have never felt so old 😂 what tests have you had if you don’t mind me asking ? X

[Chowlady14 in reply to Natasha2012]

It’s awful isn’t it, this whole process and age thing has really hit me recently. I’ve never felt old until this. I’ve had a previous c-section which the scar sometimes creates fluid on and then also have issues with my lining thickening. We were advised to test the embryos as I’ve also got a history of miscarriage too. I genuinely believe that the clinic over stimulated me (I was so sick and we had to freeze the embryos) and that as a result even though the embryos were tested they were still poor quality but that’s just me assuming and hoping to satisfy myself with answers. The embryos were PGD tested but none stuck. I’ve decided this is my last year on this rollercoaster if we don’t achieve pregnancy I’m stopping as it’s affecting our whole lives and I’m not enjoying the 3 year old we were blessed with xxx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Chowlady14]

Sorry to hear everything you have gone through and I think you know when it has become Too much . I have fluid but apparently it’s gone by the time of transfer . I don’t have problems with my lining and that’s why they don’t think my c section scar is affecting anything . The only thing that has made me sick is the estrogen so I can’t do another medicated fet . Everything looks fine with me and that’s why they are telling me to go again but the heartache of it failing is soul destroying and it changes you more than I could imagine x

[Chowlady14 in reply to Natasha2012]

Oh Natasha it sounds like you are having a similar journey to me and my heartbreaks for you. My son was a natural transfer and I am going to ask if the new clinic will help me with this as the other clinic was pumping me with all sorts of drugs and my body just doesn’t seem to like them. I’m waiting to start a new cycle with the new clinic but foolishly symptom spotting this cycle 🤣 I mean I’ve not taking contraception for 10 years and never fallen pregnant naturally but I can dream. It’s helping pass the time till my next appointment. They say everything is fine with me other than the fluid (which goes at transfer like you) and a thin lining but I had a thin lining with my successful transfer of 7.5mm and my c-section scar niche has allegedly been repaired so I feel like there is something else. I do have an issue with my thyroid and an autoimmune disease linked to it so wonder if I have other autoimmune diseases xxx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Chowlady14]

I honestly think some women don’t get on with the medication . I read somewhere about how when you ovulate and fertilisation happens your body produces a hormone that is missing with ivf so I’m hoping by a natural cycle it helps . I feel exhausted 😩

[Chowlady14 in reply to Natasha2012]

My lining doesn’t thicken on estrogen it actually goes the opposite way. I also have allergies and intolerances so wonder if it’s my body not tolerating the synthetic hormones xxx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Chowlady14]

My lining thickened but is thicker without . I got to 11.4 on a natural and 9.4 on synthetic. And I change into a horrible depressing person aswell . I feel alive again ! 😂 xx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Chowlady14]

Never stop dreaming ! Dreams create reality ! Me and my husband will be trying naturally again this month ! Ovulation tests armed 😂 I won’t give up til I know I can’t do anymore . Xx

[Chowlady14 in reply to Natasha2012]

Love this!!!! I’m 6dpo this month, even put my legs in the air after doing the deed haha! Sending you all the luck in the world xxxx

[Londonlady2024]

Hi, I would change clinics and have your grade c embryo transferred ASAP if possible.

[Xmishell37]

I feel like you have just written my story!! 38 next month, 2 failed transfers since November (1 MC at 5.5 weeks and 1 chemical) and 1 poor grade left ..noone can convince me otherwise it's not going to end in MC, I know there are success stories with low grade but I think quality of my eggs are too poor. I'm mentally and physically preparing for a next egg retrieval in May/June but have a call with a doctor on Monday to request they prescribe me Melatonin (not convinced they will but it supports immature eggs which I had an issue with last round), so I don't have much advice sorry, just wanted to say Ur not alone and I'm with u on this wild rollercoaster!! ❤️ Xx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Xmishell37]

lovely to hear from you and I don’t feel so alone now ❤️ I just want somebody to take over my care and look after us . I feel like im having to push everything and it’s exhausting . I can’t think of anything else 😩 xxx

[Whooper]

I would change the clinic and move the embryo as well. I wouldn’t test this embryo on its on as it is very expensive. I would wait for the next egg collection and then test them all together.

[Millbanks]

Hello lovely, I'm so sorry - it's a shitty journey.

When I was going through multiple failed transfers I really needed to have next steps planned each time - these were always new tests - so ERA / ALICE / EMMA / immune testing / PGT-A testing.

If it was me, I would be very tempted to move to a new clinic and start afresh. It doesn't sound like your current clinic is very on top of your plan.

xxx

[Natasha2012 in reply to Millbanks]

No they say everything looks perfect . It just wasn’t the “right “ embryo . I just don’t know how many transfers you do thinking like that x

[Millbanks in reply to Natasha2012]

Personally I had 3 like that - before I went down full on testing route. I just didn't want to keep chucking embryos back in without knowing why they possibly weren't sticking.

As you have one still at your clinic maybe try that one and if its still a no go, then move clinics? xxx

[lmno]

so sorry for all you’ve been through, it’s such a tough journey. I know it’s a really personal decision so you need to go with your gut, but just wanted to say my daughter was our third transfer (after a failed transfer and a MMC) and was the poorest quality embryo we had. Our subsequent egg collections have only led to one embryo so I’m of the opinion that if you’ve gone through all the work to create an embryo it’s worth a shot before moving onto your next collection. But as I say everyone’s journey is different and only you can decide the next move for you. You’re not alone and you will get through this, promise x