After a BFN

[Renia5]

Hello, i read your posts and are all very interesting and informative. I decided to post because i really feel very disappointed today after a BFN yesterday afternoon. I am really heart broken. I have done 2nd time IVF with FET and DE this time but was unsuccessful. When i heard the negative result i felt really devastated. It is a challenge very hard all of this. Sorry, for my negative feelings but i really want to pull them out of me to people who understand. My husband is supportive but i can't really seem so devastated in front of him as he is already stressed and i don't want to burden him more. I can't concentrate to anything else such my work ,and i have a lot to do, after this. This time, as the previous time some years ago, all seemed good until i heard the result of the hcg-test. I have strong wish for a baby but it seems that my body reacts against it and doesn't accept this. Other moments think that it doesn't meant to be despite the fact that i want and try for it very hard. How can anyone be positive and continue after BFN?

[Floraandfauna]

Hey, I was in exactly the same position as you a few weeks ago, 2nd round of ivf, negative result. But time is a healer, and I’m feeling way more positive now. I got through it by thinking about what we can try next time, putting some consultation dates in the diary, and then my hubby and I went away for a couple of days, just to give ourselves a treat! It sounds tough but all I could do was pick myself up and carry on!

[Petree86]

It is so hard to remain positive when it seems like the whole process of IVF is unattractive and difficult. But from some deep place inside you, you have to be positive. You have to get yourself in a place where you believe it will work for you. That's the only thing you can hold onto. Maybe take some time out of the process to get yourself in a better state. Try meditation, therapy, exercise and go away on holiday if possible. When you are feeling mentally prepared to try again, then go for it!

[balletcat]

I'm right there with you. Our first cycle ended with a missed miscarriage and surgery after 8 weeks and last week we found out our frozen cycle was not successful with a negative test. I already found this second FET cycle super hard as I felt none of the hope and pragmatism of the first cycle and just felt like a big slog. Now we have to wait 2 months for our follow-up appointment and discharge from NHS before we start to review a private option for our one remaining embryo. I feel really disheartened and struggling to focus on work or get motivated to do anything not on my sofa. Infertility sucks and nothing prepares you for the struggle Sorry I don't have any suggestions but wanted you to know you're not alone as that helps me a little.

[Ranchu90]

I am really sorry that you have to go through disappointments. I used my own eggs so our stories are a bit different but if I was you I would probably try to find another clinic that specialises and have high success rate with donor eggs and automatically change the donor that could probably give you a higher chance for success. But now of course depends on your circumstances. Stay positive and don't lose your hopes ❤️ much love

[Renia5 in reply to Ranchu90]

Thank you for your reply. I am thinking of it. I don't know what is the best between trying with the left for a new FET or going to another clinic. Now i have so many negative feelings and i can't really decide which is the best to do. But for sure i should look for something other and trying left these hard feelings of failure behind.

[Ranchu90 in reply to Renia5]

Take your time, don't rush into decisions now as everything is still so fresh ....but remember there are no right or wrong decisions... Follow your instincts 💓😁