OTD and another BFN: Well ladies, that... - Fertility Network UK

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OTD and another BFN

Clover5 profile image
17 Replies

Well ladies, that's me out again. I've not even got upset this time around as I think I've got that used to all the pain of going through this, I've totally numbed myself to it now.

I've been trying for over 16 years and all I have are scars from I can't even remember how many operations and the ashes of my beautiful daughter 😞. We have 1 frostie left, but I'm not even sure if we should give it one final shot with how difficult it is even to get to a transfer for me.

Wishing all you wonderful warriors all the luck in the world 🍀 wherever you in your journey ❤️X

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Clover5
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17 Replies
Skittles11 profile image
Skittles11

Gosh I've just read through your profile and you have been through so much. I can relate to the feeling of numbness though for different reasons. I wish the outcome had been different for you today. Only you can decide re your remaining frozen embryo, I guess you will consider how you would feel if you chose not to use it, but there isn't a right and wrong and any decision you make is right for you and your circumstances. Take care today and good luck xx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to Skittles11

Thank you for your reply Skittles. I know you've also been through a lot and the awful loss of your little girl this past year. My heart really does ache for you ❤️ I was absolutely dreading Ebony's due date coming around but luckily I was still off work at the time. There was a colleague who's baby was due exactly the same day as Ebony and I couldn't have coped with hearing the birth announcement. We planted a memorial Rose that my friends had bought me to mark the day, which did help. I'm going to take some time to rest and get a few weddings and our holiday out of the way, before I think more about maybe trying with our final frostie later in the year xX

HollieW profile image
HollieW

I am so sorry to hear this. I really feel you when you say you are numb. I find IVF to be a grieving process where you feel nothing, then angry, then upset, then nothing in this awful circle of never ending emotions. I hope you can take some time out as I find this does help and when (if) you are ready to go again you will. Wishing you lots of luck in whatever you decide next x

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to HollieW

Thanks Hollie ❤️. It definitely is a grieving process and I'm still in the numb stage right now. You put your entire heart and soul into trying for a baby which is completely consuming, so when it fails you just feel lost don't you. I enjoyed having a couple of drinks last night and eating rubbish like a banana split and burgers and fries😊.

We're gonna take some time out until the end of the year before we think about trying with our last frostie, but we have also said we may need to look into adoption more seriously. Sending love 💕xX

Novice_knitter profile image
Novice_knitter

I’m so sorry hun, I wish I could say something to make this easier. Sending you lots of love and healing xx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to Novice_knitter

Thank you for your reply hun ❤️. Wishing you luck for your journey in the future xXx

Marisa32 profile image
Marisa32

I'm so sorry. I also just read your profile and to say you have been through a lot is an understatement. Be kind to yourself because you truly have and are giving it your all and then some. A friend of mine who had multiple BFNs after undergoing transfers with PGA tested embryos decided to go with a surrogate. Not sure if that's something you would consider down the road. My friend has no known issues with her uterus or anything just one of those "unexplained" things. If you are able to make viable embryos, maybe it's something to consider. Wishing you luck with whatever you decide.

IVFwithPGD profile image
IVFwithPGD

I’m really sorry to hear this. Sending you so much love 💕✨ xxx

I am so sorry Clover. Every woman on here deserves their baby but I feel extra passionate that you get your BFP after all you have been through, I so hope that last frostie is the lucky one. You must be exhausted xx

Hoping20 profile image
Hoping20

Sorry to read your latest post about your BFN. I am also so sorry for everything you have been through in the past as I just had a read of your profile. This is truly heartbreaking. Please take extra care of yourself and give yourself time to figure out your next steps. You are not alone in this journey...many of us women on this forum are with you. Thinking of you today x

Boltonk profile image
Boltonk

I’m so so sorry x it’s so hard and I completely understand the numbness. Don’t forget how strong you are and that last embie could be the one. Sending you hugs, good karma and luck for the next one. Xxx

JadeH92 profile image
JadeH92

😢. I have no words other than I am so sorry! Sending you lots of love 💖. Be kind to yourself xx

Eternalwarrior profile image
Eternalwarrior

I am so so so sorry. I have just read your profile and you have gone through so so so much. How devastating and heartbreaking... If and when you are ready to try again (you are the only one who can decide that), I really hope the last embryo is a keeper! Sending you loads and loads of love xxxx

AuroraXen profile image
AuroraXen

Oh Clover I'm so sorry. You've been struggling for so long 💔 It's no surprise you're exhausted and broken-hearted. Life is so unfair sometimes. Whether you choose to go again with your last frostie is of course a personal choice, but remember you don't have to make any decisions immediately xx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly

I’m so sorry, Clover5, I wish I could say something to make this easier. Please be kind to yourself, don’t rush any decisions - take time to heal. Sending you lots of love and healing xx

pelvicpain123 profile image
pelvicpain123

Thinking of you 💔

PrayingforMyBaby profile image
PrayingforMyBaby

felt sorry for you..still wish you the best in the future. Dont give up... We will have all our baby soon.

Baby dust to Us whise faithfully waiting🙏..Be healthy and take care of your self❤

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