OTD and another BFN ๐Ÿ’”: Sending my love... - Fertility Network UK

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OTD and another BFN ๐Ÿ’”

Keepingfaith85 profile image
โ€ข36 Replies

Sending my love to everyone who feels the way I do today. It really does take so much out of you, you come face to face with all your hopes and dreams only to have it all taken away in seconds. It is an empty, lonely feeling that no words can do justice.

I thought I was being more realistic this time and I already knew my chances were low and that it hadn't worked but I still feel crushed.

I think you are all amazing

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Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85
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36 Replies
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HollyT7 profile image
HollyT7

I am sending you a massive cuddle โค๏ธ I know that not much can take that sad feeling away but I hope you feel a little better tomorrow and I hope that the new year brings you amazing things. Xxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toHollyT7

Thank you Holly xx

Italy300618 profile image
Italy300618

Oh I'm so so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you, it's so incredibly heart breaking, a week after our BFN and I still feel broken and lost. Sending you a big hug, look after yourself xxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toItaly300618

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Look after yourself and give yourself all the time you need ๐Ÿ’• This is so tough

It's gutting isn't it when you are really looking forward to something only to have it result in nothing and it always seems worse just because it's Christmas!

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply to

Christmas is a difficult time. I've not had the heart for it the last few years since loosing my mum and also it marks another year not being a mum myself. I'm going to try my best to have a nice one this year just me and my hubby xx

โ€ข in reply toKeepingfaith85

We were saying the other day how it's always the way how horrible things happen in december just before Christmas as I had blood clots in my lungs just before Christmas back in 2017 and last year an old colleague died of lung cancer early December and she was only 53 as well bless her but I feel she has gone to a much better place myself.

Im sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and it always feels at Christmas you're the only one with problems as it appears everyone else is enjoying themselves and you are miserable and it all seems so unfair.

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply to

Yes my mum loved Christmas time... she had ovarian cancer and died only 3 months after being diagnosed. I was with her in hospital the night that she died November 2017 so this time of year has been really tough. I think she would be proud of me & my husband though with starting ivf and getting around to putting up the Xmas decs this year ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒฒ holding on to good memories and the thought of better days to come xx

Hopeful_wishes profile image
Hopeful_wishes

After so many hurdles itโ€™s heartbreaking to fall at what feels like the last one. To me itโ€™s the hardest part of IVF. Sending you a big hug and lots of love xx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toHopeful_wishes

Yes and knowing you have to do it all over again ๐Ÿ˜’ It's exhausting isn't it? Thank you for replying and sorry you're going through it too xxx

L2D2 profile image
L2D2

You have described exactly what I feel. Empty and lonely. Our OTD was Monday and it was another BFN. I also thought I was being realistic but I let some hope in and that is what destroys me now.

Iโ€™m sorry you are going through this and feeing this way. My heart goes to you during this exhausting experience xx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toL2D2

Yes exactly that, it's the hope that I can't bear. I even tested early this time (afternoon 8dp5dt... I think I was reluctant to do it at the right time of day or any later as I would have to admit it was 100% accurate) You do hold on to this sliver of hope.

Looking at your story we have lots of similarities timing wise... ivf in July, freeze all because of OHSS risks, failed FET in October and now ๐Ÿ˜ฅ Do keep in touch & let's hope we have much better luck in 2020. Thanks for making me feel less alone in all this

Coral86 profile image
Coral86

Iโ€™m sorry sending u a hug xxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toCoral86

Thanks Coral I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿคž๐Ÿคž

Coral86 profile image
Coral86โ€ข in reply toKeepingfaith85

Donโ€™t have any hope xxxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toCoral86

It's tough to hope, I completely understand. It's all out of our control really isn't it? But we just soldier on best we can ๐Ÿค—

Clover5 profile image
Clover5

Iโ€™m really sorry to read this and especially at this time of year when everyoneโ€™s praying for the best Xmas ever. Itโ€™s can be soul destroying going through all the ups and downs on this journey. Sending lots of love and all the best of luck for the future ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ™xX

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toClover5

Thanks so much. I will pick myself up again and piece myself together but you are right it is difficult this time of year xx

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99

So sorry to hear this, BFNโ€™s are just heartbreaking. You describe all the feelings so well, I can totally relate. But please donโ€™t beat yourself up for feeling hope. I believe that it is so important to be hopeful. Although I appreciate how it makes us so much more vulnerable. It doesnโ€™t mean you were wrong to hope. Sending you a huge hug at this really shitty time and hoping you get your bfp v.soon xxxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toPicalilli99

Thank you xxx

Linzmm78 profile image
Linzmm78

Love and hugs I had mine today OTD BFN my one and only egg left. Iโ€™ve never felt so numb, heartbroken and devastated! Iโ€™m exhausted! No one ever explained this part to me! My partner went to work after the test and I couldnโ€™t get out of my curled up ball of sadness!!!

Itโ€™s a grieving process really that no one around you understands m. Be kind to yourself and take time to get back to you...baby steps xx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toLinzmm78

I'm so sorry. It's no wonder you are exhausted it's so emotionally draining all the waiting. I've had a day at home on my own too as my husband is away at the moment for work. My best friend has messaged me but she's 6 months pregnant and can't possibly understand so it's good to talk here with people that can relate. This is such a wonderfully supportive community xxx

Linzmm78 profile image
Linzmm78โ€ข in reply toKeepingfaith85

It is I thought it was only me till I came on here! X

Kybow profile image
Kybow

Hi Keepingfaith85,

I also got my BFN today with PGD tested normal embryo ๐Ÿ˜ข This was a FET from our 2nd stim cycle. 1st cycle did 3 day fresh transfer BFN, no frozen embryos, now another BFN and again no extra frozen embryos. Iโ€™m 43 and DH 42 so it was a miracle we had one normal tested embryo. Iโ€™m so sorry you are going through this too but I know exactly how you are feeling if that is any consolation. So so much to go through and it feels like all for nothing.

Sending thoughts your way, we will get through this.

๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toKybow

I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. I hope you are okay? Xx

CLDxxx profile image
CLDxxx

So sorry lovely. I think youโ€™re amazing too ๐Ÿ’•look after yourself xxx

Nikkinikkit profile image
Nikkinikkit

Thinking of you ๐Ÿ’” I am still recovering from a miscarriage after my 3rd cycle of icsi. Itโ€™s a horrible feeling but we will get through it โค๏ธ Massive hug to you, know that you arenโ€™t going through this on your own and things will get better ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป Xxx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toNikkinikkit

Thank you. So sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I hope 2020 brings only good things your way xx

Lowamh profile image
Lowamh

Sorry to hear this, I remember the feeling. Try to enjoy Christmas and fingers crossed 2020 is your time x

Caitlin-m profile image
Caitlin-m

This is so hard. Sending you a big hug. X

I'm in the same boat. ANOTHER bad news. My period started on Day 9 and I knew it was all over then but I still had to do the test today. I couldn't phone the clinic to let them no it was a No again by myself as I knew I'd be in tears so my husband did it for me. Feeling lost and exhausted. All looked good and again failed. I really don't know what to do. But hope this sadness doesn't hold us down for long. ๐Ÿคž๐ŸŒŒ

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply to

That's awful, I'm glad your hubby made the call for you. Wishing you all the best for 2020 - we can do this xxx

Core profile image
Core

So sorry to read this BFNs are so difficult, sending hugs and be kind to yourself over Christmas xx

Littlepeax profile image
Littlepeax

Hope you're ok โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ

MrsH17 profile image
MrsH17

Sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you can try again in the future and enjoy your Xmas xx

Keepingfaith85 profile image
Keepingfaith85โ€ข in reply toMrsH17

Thank you, I might have a little break but will definitely carry on xx

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