Our little embryo didnt stick. My HCG was 45 an then 2 days later was 24. I cant describe how i feel as I cant put it into words. I am now having a period an feel like am losing it all over again. I suffer badly with endometriosis so on top of miscarrying i am in excruciating pain. But i don't want to take pain medication, i want to feel the pain i feel i deserve it for not being able to carrry our little one to term. I feel like a complete failure. I cant cry anymore, i dnt think ive got anything left to give.
This round was our 1 an only chance an the little embryo was the only 1 to make it to blastocyst. 9 years of hurt, pain an uncertainty an its gone.
How do people get over this? How do you move on?
My husband is also devastated, but he tries to be strong for me but i can see it in his eyes hes heartbroken.
Am sorry to ramble on i just needed to get it all out of my head.
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Teebo88
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I am so sorry for your loss, its such a difficult time. You need to take some time to grieve and come to terms with what's happened. You definitely aren't a failure and its nothing you have done that has caused this to happen. It is often just really rotten luck. There may be other options to you in order to grow your family. Take some time, I know its such a cliche but it does get easier. I strongly advise getting some counselling to help you through this. Huge hugs xx
Oh, I'm so sorry 💔💔💔 At least you tried! And thinking of that about 66% of women undergoing IVF need more than one round to have their so longed for babies (I succeeded firstly at the 6th ET myself!), you just can't blame yourself for not succeeding at your first try, even if it, unfortunately, apparently was your one and only oportunity ❤ So take your painkiller, so you can focus on dealing with your emotional pain. That's the most important, and using the physical pain to get that pain on a certain distance will only backfire 😥 Get a medical leave and permit yourself to feel all the bad feelings, alone and with your husband. And also, as your body is getting rid of what ought to be a nurturing safe space for your little one, you're also so full of PMS-like hormones which doesn't make this a tad better... After a couple of weeks you'll be able to think clearer. Counselling might not at all be a bad option, though ❤ Take care, and big hugs ❤❤❤
I would like to put forward a different perspective of what has happened here, because you're blaming yourself for something you have absolutely no control over.
Based on those HcG levels, you've had a chemical pregnancy. So the embryo DID implant, you DID get pregnant, briefly, and your body DID do what it was supposed to. The reason you miscarried wasn't because you were unable to carry the baby but because the embryo itself was not viable and it was never going to develop, no matter what you did or didn't do. So please don't blame yourself. I know it's hard, but we need to be kind to ourselves at times like these and IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
Sorry, hope this doesn't come across like I'm shouting at you, but I really want to emphasize that this is something that's up to the embryo and we don't really have any control over it. Again, big hugs and go and take some painkillers, get a hot water bottle and cuddle up with your hubby for a cuddle and a little cry. You need to grieve, you don't need to punish yourself xxx
My gut reaction to this was no, no, no - please don't think like that. You do not deserve any pain, no-one does. You are not a failure, although infertility and this process makes us feel like that. You are exhausted, shocked and, when you get over the numbness, grieving and full of doubts and questions. It happened to me twice back to back last year after cancelled rounds, delays from the pandemic, after endless other delays for years, gynae issues since I was a child (including endo), and it is just crushing when it ends like that. You will be full of hormones and lost hope, but you can get through it even though it feels raw and bleak now. There are always options, they just aren't the same for everyone. You and your body did something very hard and when you feel more yourself, you should try and think about that and what you've come through. Please look into counselling if you find this all too much right now. Then reassess, when your head and your body are calmer. In the meantime, take the painkillers if they help, it won't change anything and may make things a little more bearable x
This is just heartbreaking to read. So sorry that you are going through this. Its just awful and no words can describe how you are feeling and no words right now will make it better. Its okay not to be okay and take some time to mourn, because it is a loss and should be treated that way.
Like said previously... this is not your fault, you are not to blame and yes its bloody unfair. Take a bit of time for yourself and also with your other half. Look after yourself. Sending you hugs. Always know that you are not alone in this and feel free to share whatever you are feeling. Xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s natural to feel it’s your fault to start with but it’s really not. You’re not a failure it’s sadly just that for you both like so many others it hasn’t worked. No one deserves to be in pain and no woman in the world deserves a miscarriage. It’s an injustice of life. You now need to look after yourself. Give yourself a break and grieve. Your partner will be disappointed of course but should be there for you reassuring you it’s not your fault and there’s no way he could feel the heartache you feel because he hasn’t been through it. It’s so hard and I know as I’ve been there. The most important thing now is to let yourself feel whatever you feel and don’t beat yourself up about it. Take the time you need. ❤️❤️❤️
Ooh hun, I am so sorry you lost it and I agree with everyone above, it really isn’t your fault! Please tell yourself that every time and give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Maybe you could ask for some counseling sessions via the ivf clinic or via your GP to help with dealing with this?But for now please please please try to give yourself a big hug, do what might gives you a little bit of joy in a very difficult time and sending you lots of hugs and well wishes my sweetheart! ❤️
I am really sorry for your loss and the for the physical pain you are enduring as well as the emotional pain of course. These first few days and weeks will be very hard. But the pain does eventually ease a little. I don’t think you truly do get over a loss though. Be extra kind to yourselves and try to talk about things with your husband. Men usually do bottle things up so it would be good for him to talk to you when he feels ready to do so. I also hope you have some support around you from family or friends. Thinking of you today x
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Devastated
Devastated...
Heartbroken and numb
Devastated 😢
