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Fertility Network UK
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BFP but feeling numb☹

Hi Everyone, hope everyone is well as can be....so after a rough year with our 1st ivf cycle ending in a mmc in the summer, I am currently 5wk5d pregnant with our 2nd bfp but I cant help but feel numb and no joy within me. I know it is because I am scared of miscarrying again but I just don't know if things are going in the right direction for me - my first scan is in 2 weeks and it feels like eternity waiting. I had 3 hcg tests, all of which were great in numbers and much better than the first round. Ladies, please tell me, is this normal to feel so numb? What am I supposed to be feeling physically at 5 .5 weeks? What should it feel like to be pregnant? I dont have nausea, just slightly sore boobs, going loo lots from evening and overnight, but it could be due to the meds. I have this fear that I am carrying nothing/fetus that has stopped developing. I asked my nhs gp for another hcg to reassure me and I was told to go and carry on seeing my private clinic as I cant just turn up and expect nhs treatment whilst opting to do ivf with a private clinic. This upset me as I thought it was unfair to say this. We all choose the path that is right for us/suitable for us, whether it be a funded cycle on the nhs or choosing a private clinic.

It was a frozen double embryo transfer again so I am on a lot of meds which means I dont bleed as such so I wouldnt know if something bad was happening. Feeling quite alone at the moment, as this time we chose only to tell my parents and nobody else. How do you ladies cope during this time? I only work term time and 3 days a week so this week is really dragging for me. I am always googling forums but feeling I am losing my mind.

Any advice/support appreciated. Baby dust to you all💕

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Firstly...congratulations on your pregnancy, this is great news. However, I can completely understand how you feel. I have just gone through my first IVF cycle which ended in a chemical pregnancy, so If I got pregnant on my next cycle I would be so worried!! I would say this is absolutely normal as you will be apprehensive. Why don't you try a bit of self relaxation and hypno? I would just try not to google things as ultimately this doesn't help.

I do think its out of order for your doctors to say that to you!! like you want to be going down this route to conceive. So insensitive! If they won't do another test, then maybe for peace of mind have another test with your private clinic? I hope all goes well for you :) xxx

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Thank you, sorry to hear of your chemical. Wishing you lots of luck on your nect round xx

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Thank you xx

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Hi cryst4l. Well it’s fabulous news that you’re pregnant, and over 5 weeks! You don’t need to be to be throwing up and suffer with sore boobs etc for everything to be continuing normally. You will have your scan booked, I’m sure, so look forward to meeting your tiny little person, and get the reassurance you need just now from that scan. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and sending you much love. Diane

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Thanks a lot Diane. That's what I need to remember, that its not a must to be throwing up and having sore boobs. Thank you for your continued support and I hope you are enjoying your week off xx

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Yes thanks. Catching up with some old friends. Diane xx

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First of all congratulations lovely news 😘

I can relate to your worries having had a chemical pregnancy. It’s nerve racking.

It’s great your numbers are good ✨

As for symptoms- all I had at 5 weeks was bit of tiredness, breast tenderness, bloating, constipation,twinges & cramps which freaked me out ( think it was where my endo scaring was reacting to pregnancy)

My symptoms still come & go at over 8 weeks! I’m still testing ( getting stronger tests in the afternoon) all I have is breast tenderness, tiredness bloating . it’s crazy that I’m still testing but I still get paranoid 🤦🏽‍♀️ the slight brown & pink spotting I had at 6.5 didn’t help matters! ( even tho GP said it’s common & not to worry) I don’t have morning sickness but I didn’t with my son.

Apparently the body gets used to pregnancy & you only get symptoms whilst a surge of pregnancy hormone rises!

The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time; today I am pregnant tomorrow I may not be but today I am & will feel happy about it!

My fertility doctor said just because we lost that pregnancy there was nothing to suggest it would happen again. Lots of women will have a healthy baby after a miscarriage.

Wishing you the best with your pregnancy & know we are here for you xoxo

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I'm really obsessed with testing too 🙈🙈 I'm still testing at nearly 6 weeks everyday lol i think I'm nuts

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Hi Jess, thank you. It never gets easier for us does it? Endo one minute to deal with and then ivf and endo.🙄. Hope you are well and enjoyinh your pregnancy xx

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Congratulations on your BFP!

I could have written your post! I feel the same. I have had two scans due to a bleed but still feel numb. I feel like I am holding my breath and I am scared to let it out. I’m scared stuff. We had a perfect scan on our first bfp but in less than 24 hours miscarried which is why I don’t think even seeing the scan I feel assured. It seems my bleed was caused from a second empty sac that is still there so I could bleed again if it doesn’t absorb naturally which terrifies me. If my boobs stop being sore or I don’t feel sick for a day I’m terrified. We get stressed by the 2ww but it’s the 36 ww that’s worse lol.

Your post has made me feel more normal. Thank you 😊. We are just going to have to find a way of coping and keeping everything crossed. Good luck sweetie xxx

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Thanks Snuggles. Glad I am not the only one. I thought I must be weird or odd feeling like this. Sorry for your loss and best of luck in your next round hun xx

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Thank you lovely. I’m 7.5 weeks just now 🙈🙈 this is the one with the bleed and empty sac but a little string heartbeat in the other. I will let me breath out and relax in about another 18 years lol if I’m that lucky. Xxx

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Firstly I would stop the googling if possible. It will only make you feel worse. I’m not sure that you’re feeling numb, it sounds like you are scared rather than numb, and that’s ok, it’s ok to be scared after a loss. But it’s also ok to have a little hope that this time will be different too. As for the symptoms, some women don’t get any at all, not even through the whole pregnancy. My best friend didn’t. If it were a “natural” pregnancy a gp would probably tell you that symptoms don’t normally kick in until 6-8 weeks anyway. Try to remember that all the worrying in the world won’t change the outcome so enjoy each day that you are pregnant and take it from there xx

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Thanks Vicky. You are right, I am feeling scared more than anything I guess. But its only natural. I am trying to hold on to that small hope that there is a chance that it might be different this round. I know I shouldnt keep comparing the 2 rounds. Hope you are doing well xx

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I am ok. Thank you for asking xx

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I'm 5 weeks 5 days too and feel exactly the same a you, Im so scared and it really doesn't seem real or that something bad is just going to happen, oh and I am going to the toilet way more often to keep on checking for spotting/bleeding urgh. Message me if you want to have a chat xxxxxxx

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Congratulations! I know it sounds easy to say but try taking each week at a time, or day at a time. I’m 13 weeks and still numb, constantly waiting for the worse to happen or bad news of some sort. I’ve never been pregnant in the past 10 years of trying but I do have a failed ivf behind me. I feel when you’ve struggled for so long you completely believe it won’t happen, or if it does, you expect the worst. I had absolutely no symptoms other than sore boobs that dissapeared at week 8. I know that I’d be devasted if anything happened but I’m also equally over the moon that I can get pregnant. Wishing you lots of luck.xx

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Thank you and congrats to you too. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy xx

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Congratulations! I can imagine how stressful it is. I agree that you need to step away from aunty Google. Wishing you all the best with the next stages xx

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Thanks Camillage. Ill try and stay away from our beloved google xx

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Congratulations 💐.

I haven't got this far so I can only say what I think I would feel and I think I'd feel the same. It must be so difficult after your mmc to feel joy.

All I can say is that you have done everything you can. Your results sound great so try to keep your mind busy until your next scan. Xxx

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Thank you 💕

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Congratulations on your pregnancy. I can totally understand how you feel although I haven't had a miscarriage, we had been ttc for almost 5 years with many set backs and a failed cycle, I was over the moon when our FET resulted in a positive test, the joy quickly turned to stress with every twinge I had, I had some bleeding at around 5 weeks and i thought the worst, luckily all was well, I also didn't have many symptoms which I totally worried about! I'm now 25 weeks pregnant and although there is some worry there as you reach each stage like 8 week scan, 12 week scan, 20 week scan it gets a little easier.

Wishing you lots of luck with your pregnancy 😘

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Thank you and congrats on your pregnancy. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy xx

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Congratulations! Lovely news but I can totally understand why you’re feeling the way you are. I’m sure the next few weeks will be an anxious wait for you. Wishing you the very best of luck for a healthy pregnancy xx

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Thanks Dunla xx

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Congrats hun and totally understand I was the same through my prengnacy and poeple kept saying why aren’t u more excited but I was scared all the time it was the best day of my life when my baby girl was born perfect but small x

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Thank you, only we know how it feels. Congrats on your little girl xx

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Congratulations! I know exactly how u feel having had a mmc before. This was my 3rd transfer and I am currently 14 + 4 now and still terrified. I have just started to slightly let myself get excited the past week I would say (might be the tiny bump reassuring me). I haven’t had any nausea at all either or any major “symptoms” either so try not to look into that too much. I just tried to keep myself busy upto scans and I have had to book private scans so I get a scan every 4 weeks just to keep myself sane. So just try and keep busy (reading, walking, drawing?) and You will start to feel slightly better soon I promise x

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Thanks Julie. I am finding things to do and taking each day now. Congrats on your pregnancy xx

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Congratulations. Its hard being pregnant after a miscarriage you end up fearing the worst. My last 2 rounds ended in miscarriage and I find myself thinking this will end the same way too. I'm trying to be positive tho. Each day I'm further than last time so trying to focus on that. As to symptoms I'm 10+4 I have no nausea or sickness. Sore boobs on and off, some tiredness and thirst but again it comes and goes. I'm sorry that your GP said that to you. I had a similar problem with the epu last year my private clinic referred me to them but they got their wires crossed when I went to epu and turned me away saying I was private I couldn't see them! I was so angry and upset. It got sorted in the end but I don't think it should matter if I have IVF privately or not. Maybe ask your private clinic for another test for peace of mind. Try to enjoy each day as it comes and I know it's hard but try to remain hopeful. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy xxxx

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Thanks Penders. Sorry for your losses too and congrats on your current pregnancy. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. I think I am just going to wait until the scan now. I cant change anything so I dont think it will make any difference xx

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Bless you. I can totally understand why you're feeling like this. After all you've been through, it's only natural that you're worried. As hard as it is just try to stay positive. You deserve this miracle, keep believing that. My little girl is now 9 weeks old and whilst there were niggles of worry throughout my pregnancy I remained positive. I had virtually no symptoms throughout my pregnancy, apart from needing to wee all the time and of course (eventually) a growing bump. All the very best with your pregnancy 😊 xx

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Thanks Lucylu. Congrats your little girl too. Xx

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Its a shitty wait, but do remember a bit of worry won't change the outcome one way or the other so dont beat yourself up for being a bit stressed. And personally i didnt have any pregnancy symptoms until nearly 10 weeks and even that was just a bit of sleepiness in the evening. And then that went away and i had nothing, hang in there and congratulations! X

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I know its quite crappy isnt it! We wait forever with everything on this journey. Patience has taught us a lot.😊 thank you and congrats to you too xx

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My BFP is 3 years old now, but i am about to go back for more punishment next month, take it easy xxx

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I really cant help with what you should or shouldnt be feeling pregnancy wise but I judt wanted to pop by and wish you congratulations on your BFP! Wishing you so much luck!xx

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Thanks my lovely. Fingers crossed🤞. Hope you are well xx💕

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Im good thanks, just waiting on AF to start prepping for FET....never comes when you want it to! Ha ha ha xx

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I know, its here when we dont want it🙄 you will fine hun. Good luck, stay positive. It will all work out xx

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