Devastated

[ChihuahuaMam]

Is 5am too early to test? Today is my test day and I tested at 5 am. I had already had a wee at 1am but thought it too early so waited until 5am. Got a devastating negative tesult. I don’t know if I should get another test and put myself through the pain of seeing that single line again or accept what I already suspected. I don’t know how you guys stay so strong after so long. This is our first time and I feel like I resent my own body. I instantly felt attached to our little embryo and on transfer day they told us that as well as having PCOS and a thin lining, I have the autoimmune disease linked to my under active thyroid. Which means my antibodies will try and attack our poor little embryo. They had forgotten to do the blood test for this until two days before EC so only started Prednisolone on transfer day to suppress my immune system. I feel like I am in mourning, cried ever since but also feel a strange numbness. I am dreading having to call the hospital and then tell everyone. I just so desperately wanted it to work.

[Masha111]

Im really sorry to hear your news. Perhaps wait until tomorrow and try again using the clear blue test. Its better to try again... you may have a positive outcome rather than ruling yourself out. Do you have to ring up your clinic or will they test you also at the clinic?

[ChihuahuaMam in reply to Masha111]

Thank you, I have to ring the hospital but really don't know how I am going to. I don’t want to say the words and make it real. I am going to test again today I think and tomorrow just to be 100%. Xx

[Masha111 in reply to ChihuahuaMam]

🤞🤞🤞 for you. Really hope its the news you want. Xx

[LegoBatgirl]

So sorry to hear that, I hope that it was just a bit early. I'm only just about to do EC of my first round so don't have any experience of test days post treatment. X

[genten]

I'm so so sorry.

Nothing can prepare us for any of this and it all seems so unfair.

I had a bfn in September and I was heartbroken too.

Things will get better in time.

Sending lots of love. Xxx

[ChihuahuaMam]

Thank you all for your kind words. You have all been a great support over my journey, even just reading your posts. I went for bloods and they have just rang to confirm that it is negative. We are totally devastated. My OH has been great and I think it will bring us even closer. I was worried at the start as he seemed to be doing it for me, but he has been absolutely amazing. I have stopped all of the medication and can already feel the dreaded period pains. We will try again but until then, I am going to focus on healing my broken heart. I wish you all the best on your journeys. These things are sent to make us stronger. XX

[Hidden in reply to ChihuahuaMam]

You are so strong. You will hetnyour dream one day. Sending you big hugs hugs xx

[ChihuahuaMam in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words. I really hope you get your dream soon. You deserve it so much.

I definitely did not feel strong yesterday, I started being sick at about 7pm and I was up every hour throughout the night throwing up. I don’t know if it was from the period pains or a reaction to coming off all of the medication. Feel lots better today, going to move all of my medication boxes out of sight as they are a constant reminder.

Stay strong 💪 you got this. Xxx

[Hidden]

Thank you. You will get there too. We just all need to keep strong xxcc