Missed Miscarriage what to expect

[Forevertrying2]

After a beautiful 9 week scan with a strong heartbeat I found out at my 12 week scan this morning I have had a missed miscarriage. My scan was at a private place and EPU were phoned, they can’t see me till Tuesday now I’m sat here not knowing what to do it expect. What are the next steps ? My baby is still there with no heartbeat and I haven’t begun bleeding I just don’t know what to do 😢

[Kxxx5]

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks. You don’t need to do anything right now, just rest and look after you. On Tuesday the EPU will give you info on your options (waiting to bleed naturally, taking meds to speed up the process or surgery). For me they gave me the info to read and think about, then call them when I had decided. They said there was so rush to make a decision as it’s a lot to deal with.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

[Forevertrying2 in reply to Kxxx5]

Thank you for the info, it’s heartbreaking. I just want to be prepared for Tuesday and this has helped x

[Katiluna]

Hello Forevertrying2, I'm so sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage😔 This is soul crushing💔. I can image all the emotions you must be going through right now. I previously had 3 miscarriages ( at 8 weeks, 10 weeks and 7 weeks). With my 1st pregnancy, after I found out that the heartbeat was no longer there, I decided to have a Manual Vacuum Aspiration. So an appointment was arranged for the procedure by the EPU and I had it done 3 days later. I chose the to have the procedure done as the physical recovery time is shorter than if you were to have a spontaneous miscarriage. The procedure itself takes 10 to 15 minutes, but the preparation may take up to 2 hours (you would be advised to take paracetamol and some antibiotics 2 hours before the procedure). I had a spontaneous miscarriage with the 2nd pregnancy ( a missed miscarriage). I also wanted to have an MVA done as soon as I found out, but the EPU refused to give me sooner appointment and advised me to wait one week until the procedure. I ended up miscarrying ( passing the pregnancy sac)at home 5 days before the procedure appointment. The recovery time took longer physically- at least 2 weeks. With the 3rd miscarriage however, I was being seen at a different hospital, I was given a sooner appointment for an MVA( a 2 day wait) and was advised by the EPU to continue taking my progesterone pessaries to reduce the risk of a spontaneous miscarriage and bleeding before the day of the procedure. The emotional recovery may take several months. If you think you may need some support, don't be afraid to ask your GP to refer you to the NHS Talking Therapy ( you also have the option to refer yourself to this service). Try to be kind to yourself and have as much rest as possible. I understand this is incredibly hard for you esp after trying for so many years. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Thinking of you XX

[Forevertrying2 in reply to Katiluna]

Thank you for your advice, you have been through so much I can’t imagine your pain 😞.

I’m just in shock. We had scans at 6 weeks, 7 and 9 and there were no issues. Our nhs scan was at 13 wk 3 days so we booked private so we could tell family. I did not expect to see what I did when she scanned me. My baby measured 10 week 4 days so I list it last week and I have had no signs of a miscarriage 😢.

I’m hoping I will be given the option to remove the pregnancy like you was I don’t think I would cope emotionally waiting for it to pass

X

[Katiluna in reply to Forevertrying2]

It's heartbreaking. I can imagine the shock as you were given a bit of reasurance during that 9 week scan. I hope everything goes OK with whatever option you decide to choose. But for now, try give yourself some rest as your body and soul need to recover and heal X

[GorlAsil]

I'm so sorry for your loss & that you've got to wait until Tuesday to be seen. I just wanted to say that because your scan was a private one the EPU will probably want to do their own to confirm. So you will have another scan first & then they will discuss the options & give you some leaflets to read. If you don't want to wait for your body to catch up & realise what's happening then they will offer you medical or surgical help. There are pros & cons to each (unfortunately I have experience of them all) & you just need to do what feels best for you.

I'm not sure if you've told any family or friends but this can feel like such a lonely time that it may help both you & your partner if you have some support from those closest to you xx

[Mikki100]

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally x

[Nes1005]

I am so sorry for your loss, it’s truly cruel and heartbreaking. Give yourself time to feel every emotion you need to. Thinking of you and sending love and hugs.❤️❤️❤️

[HelzBelzUK]

So sorry to read what you’re going through. I had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks a few months ago xx Please be kind to yourself.

Each EPU will have their own policy. At my local trust they done another scan a week after my private one to confirm everything. I was then told I had to wait two weeks for things to happen naturally. After two weeks I still hadn’t bled so I went back again for another scan and then the nurse discussed medical or surgical management. I opted for medical management as a D&C can destroy your lining and mines already wafer thin. I also didn’t want the added risks of an anaesthetic and infection etc xx

I’m a nurse so please don’t be afraid to ask the staff as many questions as you need to be able to make an informed decision xx

[AJKP]

Oh I'm so utterly sorry for you, this happened to me too, perfect scan at 10 weeks and then no heartbeat at my 12 week scan. I was given some options and chose to have surgery. The emotions were huge and it took me quite a while to emotionally recover. Just take the time you need to process what's happening, it's so heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs xx

[Nakijo]

So sorry about your miscarriage. Keep strong

[Weegran20]

So sorry for your loss . That happened to me and it honestly is the most awful feeling . I was a whole week in denial with the Dr coming to my house to try and explain that the best thing was to go to hospital to get the baby taken away . I think it was because I had no bleeding that I was not accepting it. Eventually after a week I did start to bleed and went in to hospital where they took the baby away .

I recovered quickly and had a rainbow baby the following year.

I hope you get someone to explain it all to you and that you too get your rainbow baby ❤️❤️❤️. Sending love and hope 🥰

[DLZ321]

I’m SO so sorry to read this, I feel heartbroken for you. I have had a chemical & miscarriage before and felt absolutely crushed, and that was at 6 and a half weeks, so I can’t even imagine the shock of having multiple reassurance scans to then have this news at 12 weeks. Sending lots of love, please look after yourself 🩷

I know it’s too probably way too early to feel optimistic, but from your previous posts you mentioned waiting many years for a positive test. At least you can take some comfort in the fact your body knows how to do it and I wish you all the success if you decide to try again when the time is right xxx

[BM000]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, especially after earlier scans have been ok. I’ve had quite a few miscarriages so experienced all three options - natural, medical management and surgical. There are pros and cons to all of them. The medical management actually didn’t work for me and I ended up needing a procedure anyway but I had it done under local (gas) that time whereas the one before I was asleep. Surgery is the least traumatic but bear in mind there is a risk of scarring which could affect future pregnancies. The thing I wasn’t prepared for the first time is that the EPU will likely want to scan you twice a week apart before they will do anything. They won’t accept a private scan. This is just to make 100% sure there is no growth but I found the waiting really hard, and I continued to have pregnancy symptoms during this time which can really mess with your head

[BM000 in reply to BM000]

Also just to say if you do opt for surgical don’t be afraid to ask for the remains (if that’s what you want). We’ve had three miscarriages that were between 8 and 11 weeks and our babies are all buried in pots in our garden - I try and plant flowers that would be blooming around the time they were born. It helps me to remember them. Everybody has their own approach to grief though and others may prefer not to have the reminder

[AmyG18]

Sending hugs...I am so sorry you are going through this. The exact same thing happened to me in September, we had an 8 weeks scan and have a video of the heartbeat. We went for a private scan for the same reason as you, to have a picture to show my Dad on his birthday the following day. Our NHS Scan wasn't till the following week. Found out baby's heartbeat stopped 2 days earlier. I had to wait until the next day to go to the EPU, they couldn't scan me till the following day (Thursday). They were able to see on the scan that baby had chromosomal abnormalities due to swelling. I chose surgical removal as I had zero signs of miscarriage, no pain or bleeding, I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to. They booked my surgery for Tuesday. It was 6 days from finding out no heartbeat until surgery. I didn't have any pain or bleeding in between. As sad as it was, it was quick, I wasn't conscious and I didn't experience much pain or bleeding. It's very much a personal choice whether you choose medication, surgery or natural. I hope that you are looked after. It's heartbreaking to get so far and have no warning signs. Sending lots of strength for the next few days x x

[CardiGrey]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been through one and I’m not sure the pain will ever leave me. It’s something that stays with you but in time, the weight of it becomes more bearable. Just do what you can to get through the days- favourite boxset, book, songs or film, food as well if you can eat (I struggled to). It’s awful they can’t see you until Tuesday. They will have some options for you. Thinking of you, your family and your angel baby. I hope you have some support around you x

[Wishing2023]

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I have experienced 2 missed miscarriages & they are heartbreaking. The first time there was no heartbeat at my 7 week scan. The EPU wouldn’t accept the private scan or dates of IUI so made me wait to check for growth (which there was even though no heartbeat). It took about 3 visits for scans over 3 weeks until they accepted it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. I was still experiencing symptoms with no bleeding. I chose medial management with tablets that I found to be the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

The second time, I saw & heard the strong heart beat at 7 weeks & had my 12 week scan booked in. I took myself for a private scan at about 9-10 weeks for reassurance where there was no heartbeat & measured at 8 weeks 5 days. This time I had surgery so it would be over quicker. I ended up waiting in hospital for hours as they were so busy & stayed overnight in the end as there was no doctor to sign me out to go home.

I hope you choose the method that is best for you. I will be thinking of you. I see & hear you & your feelings. I hope you have good supportive people around you. Sending love & strength at this tough time x

[Liberty82]

So sorry for your loss, I can imagine the heartbreak especially after seeing the HB. I found out I lost my IVF pregnancy at 7 weeks, I lost all symptoms so I felt like I 'knew'. They wanted me back at 8 weeks to make sure there was no HB as fetal pole had been seen but I knew that I'd miscarried. I never actually passed the pregnancy and eventually had a D&C at 11 weeks. It was an awful time because the sac was still growing so they scanned me so many times and my tests were getting stronger.

I think I was offered the tablets to help me pass the pregnancy but I decided that wasn't a route I wanted to go down after researching what options were available. The D&C was physically painless, quick recovery and I was given GA rather than local so at least I was asleep through it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I did go on to have two succesful pregnancies but at the time I thought my chances were over. It was tough but you're not alone. So many of us have walked that road and I promise you'll be OK. X

[Liberty82]

I'm so sorry to read that you'd been trying for 15 years without success, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. It took me 8 years before I had a baby and those years were long and lonely. My heart goes out to you 💔 but as cold as this might sound the fact that you got this far and had a little hb means a lot.

[Forevertrying2]

Hi Ladies, from the bottom of my heart thank you, sharing your stories must be painful, it has made me feel less alone. It’s more common than I thought. I think after seeing a heart beat at 9 week and knowing statistic say the chances of loosing a pregnancy after that are so low I thought I was safe. I know I have to have another scan tomorrow but I also know that I have lost the baby so it’s a formality. I will be insisting on a DnC and hope that will be asap. We won’t be trying again as this was our last embryo so any issues it causes with lining won’t matter. Family are being so supportive and me and my partner have a holiday booked to go to Tenerife at Christmas so at least we can get away from it all soon.

Sending love and light to you all. You are all truly amazing ❤️

[Endofitall in reply to Forevertrying2]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Sending love and healing your way. I hope time with your partner allows you both time to grieve❤️

[Slm123-]

I’m so devastated and heartbroken to be reading this I really am 😢💔. I dont know you personally but I feel like we connected through talking and from being at similar stages. At times you really helped ease my worries and it was lovely to have the opportunity to connect with you- thank- you. I’m honestly sending you so much love and healing during this extremely difficult time. I hope you find comfort from all the other brave ladies on here who have been through the same or similar and are supported but your family/friends. I really will keep you in my thoughts xxx