We conceived our son back in 2012 after only trying for a few months. He was born by csection because he was breech. When he was 1 we decided to try for another. After a year of trying and no success we sought help. We were offered IVF almost straight away but decided to try naturally thinking it was just the stresses of life. I've since had all tests, hormones, hycosy, laparoscopy, basically everything and nothing obvious has come up. My husband's sperm is fine. We tried 6 months on clomiphene with no luck. We decided we were content with our lives and decided to embrace being a family of 3 so never pursued IVF. However after alot of discussion this year we decided to try self funded IVF before it was too late. Our son is 9, I am 38 and my husband is 36. We did egg retrieval on the 1st of November, a day 5 transfer on the 6th of November with a 4AA embryo and thick womb lining. I'm due to test on Sunday but I started getting period pains after first week, followed by brown blood. For the past 2 days I've had LOTS of heavy red blood and I know deep down this round hasn't worked despite the clinic advising me to continue with progesterone pessaries. I have 3 more frozen embryos but I just feel so despondent. After 8 years of trying naturally with no obvious reason for our infertility and a near perfect embryo transfer which I am certain has failed, I feel like I've lost hope. I'm convinced my immune system must be killing the embryos before they can implant. It's so hard not knowing the cause of the infertility.
Secondary unexplained infertility and... - Fertility Network UK
Secondary unexplained infertility and IVF
You mentioned your immune system. Weirdly I had the exact same thoughts. I said to my ivf consultant I felt like my body was killing the embryos, they rolled their eyes in a sort of 'you're not a doctor you can't know that' - - - - I then had immunology testing at a clinic in epsom and it turns out I was right. I now have a 5 month old baby boy. I'm 39. Sometimes your body can change how it responds to pregnancy. I've heard of people developing immune issues after having a baby earlier in life. Worth looking into getting your nk cells tested. If that is the issue, yes it's expensive but it means you might not need ivf. Good luck xx
I brought up NK cells with my consultant during the investigation stage and she had a similar eye roll type response. She said the clinic didn't offer testing for this. I note the HFEA website has a similar attitude towards killer cells and doesn't recommend any of the treatments. Such a shame when a simple course of steroids can make all the difference. I'm certainly going to raise it again at my next follow up appointment.
Ivf consultants aren't immunology experts. My specialist was an ivf doctor who had an interest in recurrent miscarriages. He led the research into it at my local nhs trust and is now one of the leading experts in the world. The research into nk cells is relatively new in comparison to the history of ivf, however, anyone who dismisses it without looking at the successes that have come from it is not worth listening to. If I'd have listened to my ivf doctor I wouldn't be a mum now. I kept getting told it was my age and embryo quality.... But yet I take instralipids and steroids once and I get a baby. If you do decide to have the tests, don't do it through a clinic, go to one of either doctor shehata, doctor gorgy or doctor quenby: all are experts in the field.
Hi redrexWe were in exactly the same situation as you. Conceived our son naturally within a few months and he was born in 2016 by emergency c section. We then started trying for a second with no luck. It took 3 goes of ivf but i am now 35 weeks pregnant and due on Christmas eve. I am also 38. I completely get your frustrations and i think secondary infertility is as hard to deal with. Hang in there and stay positive. I was always told that as I've carried a baby naturally to full term before you should be able to get pregnant again 🤞😘 x x
Hi lovely, thanks for sharing your story, I am almost in exactly the same situation as you, we are unexplained, and I conceived a son naturally in 2018 although that did take a long time and I had a miscarriage before he made it into the world, we were suggested IVF with him but then at the last minute before treatment I found out I was pregnant naturally, we started trying again as soon as he was born for that reason, but it’s been 2.5 years and no luck.I’m about to start my first round soon, we have signed up to 3 full cycles plus any FETs with access fertility, the cost alone is so stressful but I think mentally I’m in a good place now accepting that it may never happen for a sibling but also with our treatment in front of us I’m kind of excited I guess, I also did 6 months on clomid same as you. I have down days where I think if everything is normal on tests and we can’t get pregnant naturally even when I do ovulate, why on earth would IVF work? I don’t understand that logic.
I am 38 in March so same age as you as well, my partner a year older than me.
What is your AMH? Mine is low but not a concern for treatment as I’m told (9.9pmol)
All the best to you and would love to hear about your progress as it seems we could swap tips and info. X
I took the test this morning after 3 days of heavy bleeding. It was negative as expected. I'm trying to remain positive.
To be honest I don't know any of my hormone levels other than they are all fairly normal and always have been, we've done the investigations several times over the years, this being the only time we've chosen to progress to IVF. I know that sounds odd but I've always thought the less I know the less I can research and worry about.
I wish you the absolute best of luck and will post our journey on this thread. X
I’m really sorry about your negative test 😔 can imagine how disheartening that must feel. Sending you lots of strength and luck for your next transfer. Sounds like you have your head screwed on with your approach to tests etc, I went round the bend with it but feel ok about it now so maybe that’s what needed to happen. Look forward to hearing some good news from you soon. X
We’re in the same position. Conceived our little one within 6 months of trying. Had a couple of miscarriages over the last 3 years and not a sniff of a pregnancy for over a year and half. We’ve had all the nhs tests and are in the same category as you. It really is frustrating. I’ve just pushed and had successful miscarriages bloods done and they have all come back fine. Again I had hoped it would bring back something to explain the situation but it hasn’t. But in one way is good because it must be my eggs.. it is really hard because you will see people around you getting pregnant and the clinic will say well you can carry a child because you already have one, but that doesn’t help you feel better, we are waiting for our FET and really wanted it before Christmas but it will be in the new year now. Good luck with your journey and your not alone xx
I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this too. It's just so frustrating not knowing. I wish you the best of luck with your FET. X
I'm really sorry to say this but you really can't say anything about the success of your fertility treatment after just one round. I'm afraid that the rating of your embryo says nothing about the genetic makeup. I've seen so many women in the past test embryos and have found that the ones genetically 'normal' were the lower rated (just to say I have also seen so many top and middle rated embryos make it). I've had 4 rounds to try to conceive our first child due to male factor. Nothing was deemed wrong with me and all those unsuccessful rounds were just one of those things. It was so hard to accept that it was all just down to luck; placing that one perfect embryo into my body at the perfect time while experimenting with different medicines to make it happen. Eventually it seems to have worked although I'm still so cautious after multiple losses.
After my first round failed I spoke to the psychologist at my clinic. In the UK it is a rule that this must be available to you, even if you pay privately. I would really recommend this. It is really valuable to speak to someone who has so much knowledge of women who have been in your position. I found her really honest but she also helped me to avoid becoming really pessimistic about my chances.
Perhaps this round may still really suprise you but 3 embryos in the freezer is also really great. I wish you all the luck! X
Hi RedRex, sorry to hear about your transfer. But it doesn't mean the frozen ones won't work. We had two transfers with 'beauitiful quality' 1:1 blastocysts and one was a bfn got my period before otd and the other an early miscarriage. I'm currently 24 weeks with the lower quality blastocyst. You have three in the freezer that's great news X
I am sorry you’re in this situation, it’s so hard. We also have one little boy , only he was also conceived through IVF - we never managed a natural pregnancy - we are now trying for a sibling and so far three transfers haven’t worked…. But only one round is still such early days - remember that grading of embryos is done visually and they don’t really know the genetics, the embryo that gave us our little boy wasn’t too great (it was good, but not excellent) and yet it worked! A later transfer with a better graded embryo didn’t work…. So don’t read too much into the grading.
Wishing you best of luck next time 🤞 x
Feeling down BFN 9dp5dt (secondary infertility) 
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