Thoughts on cycling with ARGC or doing surrogacy?

[letro112]

So my immune markers are very high. Have tried alot of different medications to get them under control and they have gotten worse. My local clinic has suggested we consider surrogacy. Although I know ARGC specialises in this type of issue. So I'm torn as to which path to choose. With ARGC I'm conscious we will prob spend the last of our savings and potentially may not get any further even with IVIG and the monitoring. Equally surrogacy is a big step and very expensive too. Thoughts

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I am definitely not an expert in this by any means, in fact I don't know anything about it!! You have probably already done about this.. but had you considered having a consultation with ARGC just to get their thoughts? They are normally a couple of hundred pounds so whilst expensive its kind of not a lot when you think about IVF costs. At least that way you could discuss your chances, costs, process etc and so have a much fuller picture to then decide if its doable physically, mentally and financially before you compare that with surrogacy? I was in a different position but a similarly confusing emotional dilemma and so paid for a consultation with a different clinics consultants and he laid out his thoughts on my options really clearly, and it really helped me make a more informed decision x

[letro112 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Daisy1245 .. yes I have had a consult with this and other clinics ..they said there's hope but it would be expensive as I may need to have IVIG every 3 or 4 weeks as other immune meds are not working. Equally they said we should consider PGS testing.. and I'm just conscious that if we cycle here and it didn't work that it would nearly be the cost of surrogacy plus I would have put myself physically through alot again. We are onto our 4th year multiple MC, laparoscopy & ectopic surgery plus constant intralipids. Physically just feel exhausted at this stage

[Hidden in reply to letro112]

So sorry I thought it was an obvious suggestion! Sounds like you have been very thorough!

I am not really qualified to advise as not been in the same situation but I have been in a similar one with own egg versus donor. I’ve had 6 miscarriages or chemical pregnancies, 3 x ivf and 3 x natural. I’ve finally been convinced to go donor after two consultants told me to. Our donor has given us 3 top quality blasts which I haven’t managed in 6 rounds. It’s taken me forever to get my head around donor (still not quite there) and I appreciate it’s not the same as surrogacy, but I’ve realised it’s the most realistic chance I have to have a family- and I kind of wish someone had told me that a few years ago… because I have been and still am exhausted too. EC was morphine every time as ovaries so scarred, so sick of reading about new supplements that cost a fortune but did nothing, so tired of miracle stories that were never me… I guess donor gave me a new channel and opportunity - maybe surrogacy will for you? xx

[letro112 in reply to Hidden]

Hidden our journeys sound very similar albeit sightly different. It's a big thing to decide DE or surrogacy and there are pros and cons to both. In my case we are hoping the surrogacy might go a little smoother although I'm conscious we are still going to need to PGS test so there are still challenges ahead. This sounds like you have a great shot with your 3 blasts.. at some point we have got to get some luck along this journey. Feel free to DM me even if you just need a rant .. I feel for me at this stage it's like a weight lifted off my shoulders going the surrogacy route.. maybe this is just acceptance that I can't carry myself to term.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. Anyone replying to this post and mentioning clinics by name, please do so by private message, so as not to advertise. Thanks. Diane