Hi everyone,
So my wife has just had her first FET and I’m feeling overwhelmed with emotions, as I guy I don’t want to really discuss this with my wife as I want to look after her and be there for her.
I think I just want it to work really badly, and I’m dreading the pregnancy test and it being negative. It’s almost cruel this 2 week wait.
I don’t think I am alone in feeling this way.
Hi 👋🏻 My wife struggles with the same feelings when I have a FET. IVF is so consuming, it can be hard not to get overwhelmed. Best thing to do is go for a walk together for a bit of fresh air and be extra loving to each other.
It’s such a tough time so be kind to yourselves and distract yourself with happy stuff as much as possible.
Fingers crossed for yous 🤞🏻
Hi. I definitely don’t think you are alone in those feelings. My husband described feeling very similar. He always put a lot of pressure on himself to make things ok as he feels very protective, but I have tried to say he doesn’t need to put that pressure on himself and that we are in it together as a team and so it’s ok if he also find things difficult. I agree that keeping busy, getting out for walks, watching a good Netflix series etc can be really helpful and distracting. Also try to just take it one day at a time without thinking too far ahead (but I know that’s easier said than done). Take care and best of luck to you both xxx
You're a team. It's a blessing to be able to communicate openly with each other. Explain how you want to protect and help her, but you're not sure how to start. Being vulnerable with each other is a wonderful gift and opens the door to a wonderful safe space to be able to chat about all our fears and joys. This is an opportunity to bring you closer. I respected my husband for it, and it brought us closer. ted.com/talks/brene_brown_t... Thinking of you guys - we've all been through it.
Hello,
my husband and I have been through a 2.5 year fertility journey. At times is has been rather bumpy. I tell him all my fears and need all the support he can give me. At the same time I really appreciate when he shows his concern and admits he is worried too. I feel less alone in all of it when we can connect through similar emotions. It might not be the same for every couple. Just trying to say that bottling up all your emotions to be a strong support for your wife is not the only option to support her.
Best of luck with your journey.
Are you aware there are support groups - online - etc that were set up by men who are in the same situation as you - HIM fertility , The Man Cave to mention just a couple of sitesGood luck with your 2WW
Janet
It’s super cruel. The 2WW is agony, and infertility in general is a dark, dark club that no one outside understands…. I’d recommend trying to talk to your wife. My husband never shows many emotions when it comes to our IVF journey, he just keeps saying ‘we’re doing everything we can and need to hope for the best’, and honestly it makes me feel alone - like he’s not really feeling it with me. Which I know he is, he just deals with things differently….
Be kind to each other, it’s a tough journey but you can get through it 💪🙏
Unfortunately I was brought up with not showing any emotions “men have to be tough” (my father was raised very strict by his dad)
It is tough because I don’t show my emotions I just get on with life and I move on. I think I don’t have good patience in life.
Your husband is probably the same as me. We do care very much but we don’t always show it
Yup I can totally understand that…. It’s so tough. One of the things that I think are really difficult about IVF is how little control and impact we have - we can do everything we can, but then there’s still this huge element of luck on whether it works or not. It’s hard to explain, it’s like there’s no direct relation between your input and the result, right? With work you can work harder, you can study, etc - with IVF you just need to do your bit and then hope…. Be kind to yourself, it’s tough on everyone 😔
Most of us love men that she'd a tear now and then.
It’s a struggle for both but nice she has you to share it with. It might be nice if you said how you feel and see if she feels the same. It’s too hard not to let it out. My husband only ever told how he felt when I asked…. ‘Do you not feel this too’ he always felt some stuff but also his own. Open snd honest is best, growing closer in communication could be an amazing positive of this Ivf process for you both 😘💐💐💐💐
Also, the two week wait is cruel , you’ve got that right ‘ distraction is key! I recommend watching familiar things on Netflix, things like Friends and easy watch funny light hearted rom coms 💐🤣🤪😁😁😁😁
My partner was going to reply on my behalf then thought it best that I respond to you to give a man's perspective.Basically you are not alone. I too felt overwhelmed and in fear, trying to be strong etc...but the truth is, in my opinion, be open to her. Let her know that you are affected too. You are a team, as someone earlier mentioned, and she may be thankful that you feel vulnerable too.
For example, I opened up to my gf that every time she went to the toilet I held my breath, half expecting a cry that there was a bleed. She didn't know that was how I was and was so thankful that I shared it with her. We can still be the 'rock' for our ladies but I think that the emotional side is something we can share as they are burdened alone with the physical change.
Our first transfer we were full of excitement and hope which diluted over time and three failed transfers. Sharing your own feelings can help you be stronger together through this 'rollercoaster' of a journey. They might not be the easiest of conversations but it is good to talk. Maybe share your post with her and the responses...you are not alone.
I am pleased to say that we were successful on our fourth transfer and are currently 14+5 weeks pregnant. Do I still worry? Of course, but they are for different things now which we talk about and share.
Wishing you both every success, you are 💪 together
Awwww you make me wanna go on husband hunt. Bless you. It is nerve cracking. In my treatment that worked, I was so busy with work, walked everywhere, including managing a difficult puberty age child. I was so busy I didn't have enough time to think.
Let the emotions run. Stress or no stress will not affect the result. Watch comedy programs, if you can let both of you get acupuncture. It's really helpful during the 2ww.
May you find favour. May your dreams come true, may you find calm in this difficult time.
All the best.
PS you are a great partner to your girl. Please never change. Vulnerability is so cute.
Feeling totally overwhelmed 
Anyone have any suggestions to help with feeling alone, overwhelmed and really low?
New and overwhelmed... 
Overwhelming emotions - prior to starting IVF
First round of IVF - overwhelmed!
