lost baby at 17wks+3 days: hi guys I... - Fertility Network UK

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lost baby at 17wks+3 days

Angelsalt1 profile image
32 Replies

hi guys

I am writing this with a heavy heart. I started bleeding at 16wks which lasted for only a few hours and I was rushed to the hospital and kept on bed rest. I had no pain or cramps whatsoever. They did scans and said everything was alright but didn’t know where the bleeding came from but said it was a reassuring sign that it had stopped so, I was discharged the next day. 4 days later, they called saying my swab was back and I had vaginal thrush and asked me to come back to the hospital to pick up cotrimazole vaginal tablet and flucloxacillin oral tablet.

I started taking the medication that night and my baby was already 17wks 2 days. The next day, I started bleeding again with heavy cramping on my waist. I rushed to the hospital and no one could attend to me until after nearly 3hrs at emergency department. By the time I was seen by a doctor and midwife, my baby was already nearly born and they said that it was inevitable miscarriage and nothing can be done to save him. At 17wks+ 3days, I delivered the baby alive and still had a heartbeat but they said it was not up to the age of viability and could not be rescucitated. The sex was indeterminate even though it had masculine features so we concluded it was a boy.

Has anyone here ever experienced something similar and did they find out the cause of the early contraction.

Also, what do you guys think they should have done to prevent this from happening?

I really need answers so please help with any information you have got on this.

I was worried if my cervix was weak but they didn’t think so even though they didn’t investigate it. What do you guys think?

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32 Replies
Leii9 profile image
Leii9

Hi, I don't have answers for you, but i just wanted to say how sorry i am , i cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. Sending hugs xxx

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toLeii9

Thank you so much. I appreciate

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune

hi Angelsalt1 something very similar happened to me. I had had several first trimester miscarriages before and had finally made it to 12 weeks. Around 17 weeks, I started noticing a slight different discharge and freak out. After testing, I was told I had thrush, which was weird cause I did not have any itching or redness. A few days later, I started bleeding and went to the emergency room, two times actually, and both times was told the baby was fine and that maybe the thrush was making my cervix irritated, hence the bleeding. I was not convinced but had to try and believe them. Four days later I started having contractions (pain at a regular interval that feels like you want to go to the toilet) and had our baby at 18 weeks and 4 days. There are no definite answers why. The most clear one seems to be a weak cervix as I had a Lletz in the past, but there is no definitive answers. Ever! I am so sorry for your loss.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toA_Fortune

This is exactly my experience. I am so sorry you experienced this as well. I believe there was a lot they could have done to prevent this from happening when they see patients like us with similar presentation.

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune in reply toAngelsalt1

Since then, the speech from doctors has been very much like “next time we’ll monitor you closely”, next time “we’ll put in a cerclage”, but I’ve now turned 40 and I’m not even sure there will be a next time, and if there is, I’m sure I’ll be constantly scared every day. Also, we live in a tiny town in Ireland, hospitals here are looking at the 90% and I was the 10%, the least common scenario.

This is not an easy path. Wishing you serenity and peace.

Rjfguitfg profile image
Rjfguitfg

I am just so heartbroken to read this. This happened to me 2 years ago at 20 weeks and 5 days. I went in for bleeding and they scanned the baby and she was really strong. Then they did a vaginal and said my cervix had dilated 3cm and the membranes were bulging out. They did an instant test for thrush which was positive. They tried inverting me to see if the sac would go back and they could do an emergency cerclage but I was too far into labor. Our little girl was born alive as well and her heart beat for nearly 2 hours in my arms before we lost her. The doctor who delivered her thought it was the thrush that led to early labor, but three other doctors I've seen think it was cervical insufficiency. I really hate this answer, but I've heard this from about 5 doctors I've seen - we will probably never know the exact reason.

In any case, with my current pregnancy (I'm only 8 weeks), my high risk doctor will do a history based cerclage at 13 weeks and give me progesterone pessaries starting at 16 weeks to try to prevent early labor. Her thinking is why not cover all the bases. I may not need the cerclage (60% of women who have a preterm labor do not have another one), but she said she'd rather be safe than sorry. And I whole heartedly support her reasoning.

I am just so so sorry that you're going through this. My inbox is open if you need any support in any way. I'll be thinking of you.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toRjfguitfg

Thank you so much for your response. I have this strong feeling that I was not properly managed. They did not do a vaginal scan when I presented with the bleeding a few days before. They only used a speculum and said cervix was closed and fine. Few days later I was in labour and it was too late to do anything.

Can I ask how long it took you after your incident before you got pregnant again?

Rjfguitfg profile image
Rjfguitfg in reply toAngelsalt1

I’m so sorry… it’s so hard in these cases. I was told the same as the person above - now we will monitor you closely etc. what about then?

It took over two years. I originally got pregnant with letrozole and timed intercourse but couldn’t get pregnant again with the same treatment. So we moved on to ivf and I became pregnant with my third pgt-a transfer.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toRjfguitfg

So sorry for your loss. Excited for your come back.

Rjfguitfg profile image
Rjfguitfg in reply toAngelsalt1

Thank you... If I could give any advice on if/when you want to try again it's to listen to your own mind, soul and body. You'll know when you're ready. I tried again too soon in retrospect and it didn't work. Now, I'm actually in a better place.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toRjfguitfg

Thank you for this advice.

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune

when I got thrush, everyone told me it was of no concern, super common, but at least three people in this chat lost a baby soon after being diagnosed with thrush… is that just meant to be a coincidence???

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toA_Fortune

Honestly, it bothers me. They could have asked me to come back for further assessment instead, they sent antibiotics and I lost the baby the next day after starting the medication.

Mercury363 profile image
Mercury363

Devastated to read this. I am feeling for you my lovely. No one expects to have to go through these things and have all your dreams taken from you. I hope you find a way to manage it all xx

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toMercury363

Thanks for your kind response

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss 💔 sending you lots of love xx

CyclingAddict profile image
CyclingAddict

Oh sweetheart! My heart is breaking for you. I really don't think there's anything you could've done to prevent this from happening. It sounds like you did everything. I'm not a medical professional so wouldn't want to speculate as to the reason why it happened. I think it's perhaps a little unusual that the sex of the baby couldn't be determined as you can get gender scans from 15 weeks but, again, I don't know anywhere near enough to say whether that could indicate a medical problem with the baby. I just want you to know that there truly isn't anything you could've done. You did all the right things in going to the hospital to get checked. Sending you all my love X

IVFat40 profile image
IVFat40

I'm so terribly sorry for your devastating loss.

Livinginoz profile image
Livinginoz

I don’t have any advice or experience but I just wanted to say this is incredibly heartbreaking and I’m thinking of you x

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toLivinginoz

Thank you for your kind words

Christianbaby profile image
Christianbaby

I haven’t had the same experience, but I just want to say I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking to go through something like this, and my thoughts are with you during this difficult time. x

gianna83 profile image
gianna83

First of all, i am sorry. From what i've read over the years, two things can be done. 1.Testing and monitoring for chorioamnionitis, which is an infection of the waters in the womb and 2.cervical cerclage.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply togianna83

I’ll keep this in mind although I mentioned the cyclage but they insisted that it was not indicated. They only did a swab of the water and said I had vaginal thrush and prescribed antibiotics which I only took two doses just before I went into early labour.

Maybe next time, I’ll insist to have the cyclage done no matter what.

pink_lemon profile image
pink_lemon

I am so sorry. I can only imagine the pain.

I was bleeding 3 times during my last pregnancy. A lot as well. No1 at 14 weeks. Too early nothing could be done. It stopped and we went home after 1 night at ER. I was told with bleeding after 20 weeks of gestation I can come to delivery suit. So that’s where I went bleeding heavily at 23 weeks. Bleeding stopped after a few days and I was already bordering viability for resuscitation so they monitored me closely and what I learned was that in my case the bleeding was most likely caused by placental abruption. No clear cause in my case. It just happens. And the doctors were preparing for me to deliver my baby because they said heavy said heavy bleeding can induce labour. As simple as that. They could do nothing but wait. Not sure if this information helps.

Again, I am so sorry.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply topink_lemon

I’m really happy for you that you got to viability stage and got the help you needed. I honestly prayed to get to that stage and wouldn’t mind delivering my baby at 23wks and get resuscitated as long as I can go home with my baby. Unfortunately we didn’t make it. I am optimistic and hoping for the best in my next trial.

Thank you for giving this insight.

pink_lemon profile image
pink_lemon

I hope my reply didn’t come across insensitive. I am sorry if it did.

I really wish you to get way past 23 weeks to where delivery is safer in the future. My heart goes out to you.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply topink_lemon

Oh dear.. your comment has given me hope and it is certainly not insensitive.

I always prayed to get to 23wks gestation but just didn’t make it. I am just hoping for the best in my next cycle.

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.

pink_lemon profile image
pink_lemon

I hope you get to 26-28 weeks at least. 23 weeks is still too early. I would not want anyone to have the the discussions we had to have. Less so someone with previous losses.

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply topink_lemon

Yeah you’re right. Hoping for the best

Fruitandflowers profile image
Fruitandflowers

I'm so sorry, this is absolutely heartbreaking and must have been very traumatic. You will need grieve now and then look to the future when you're ready. All I can say is that thrush during pregnancy is incredibly common - I've had it each time and maybe it is just coincidence, i don't know. Also when my waters went early I had complete placenta previa and they were so careful about not doing anything which could disturb the cervix more (they wouldn't even use a speculum to check my cervix) as the risk of going into premature labour was so high. I did use the vaginal thrush pessary and was able to hold off labour for 6 weeks through bed rest but I think sometimes the cervix dilates and labour is triggered very easily so they try to balance the risks. On my prior pregnancy I had bleeding and they did a biopsy of my cervix which was very invasive and that was all fine and didn't cause any problems (and I had thrush then too). So I think each pregnancy can have different complications and risks and sometimes they can't do anything and there isn't an answer. But equally if they will monitor you carefully if you have another that is reassuring but can't undo what you've been through and the wondering if it could have been different.

MagsGK profile image
MagsGK

Hi, I've only just seen this post.

We were trying for a baby 8 years....5 years of IVF alone ! I had two misscariages at 7 and 12 weeks.

I am not 37w3 days pregnant with donor egg. But that's not my point. When I was finally told on my first scan at 7 weeks that this is a viable pregnancy and then at 12 weeks that baby is fine I have found private ob to keep checking my cervix and anything else that british clinics don't check. I had additional tests thanks to this and every few weeks they checked my survix to prevent premature labour.

Not sure where you live but PM me if you interested I'll give you more details.

Not necessarily that would have helped but maybe they would catch cervix opening before it actually happened.

It gave me reassurance that everything is fine...after two misscariages and years of infertility I wanted to make sure this is going to be different.

Sending hugs

Angelsalt1 profile image
Angelsalt1 in reply toMagsGK

Thank you so much for this information. I have already opted to be managed by a different hospital in my next pregnancy and the doctor has offered to give all that you have just mentioned.

Congratulations with your new one on the way.

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