Struggling at work (and Progynova)

[Alwaysbelieving]

I started Progynova on the 6th April and my job is really stressful at times. The last couple of days I’ve burst into tears as soon as I’m in my car to go home! It’s like it’s taken all my energy to get through the day pretending I’m fine that as soon as I don’t have to be, I’m not!

Anyway I had a bit of a meltdown to my partner last night as I’ve been keeping it from him just how much I struggle and how sad I am but couldn’t really hide it any longer, he asked if I’d been crying when I got home and it all came out. I got ready for work this morning and looked in the mirror to see if I looked okay/composed. I did and it made me hysterical as I’m just not okay at all. I had a panic attack, hyperventilating, felt light headed and like my legs wouldn’t work! It hasn’t happened before ever! I had to call in sick and currently waiting for my GP appointment later in the day. I don’t know if it’s my medication making me feel like this or not... I mean I’m sure it’s contributing but I feel like I can’t take time off work as I’m a secondary teacher and I’m the only subject teacher so if I’m not there then their work will suffer and it’s already been a disruptive year for them! or even if it would be helpful as I’ll just sit and worry about my upcoming FET. I’m an absolute mess and I haven’t even had a failed cycle! I’m feeling quite scared of how I am going to deal with that if it happens!

Not really sure of the purpose of this post but i suppose you all know the score. Sharing how you feel with people who’ve been through the same just helps in itself. Hope everyone else is having a better day xx

[BECIO]

Hey i completely understand you! My meds all just arrived (first cycle too) and I had a panic attack and can’t focus at all today! I am a social worker so also like you under a lot of pressure with work, but it’s a bit easier for me to take annual leave. Have you spoken to your line manager wonder if there is any way they could help? It’s hard feeling that pressure and obviously isn’t ideal for the children but over all a few days or weeks with a supply or none subject teacher wouldn’t have that much of an effect? Your physical and mental health is so important too! Could you maybe reduce your hours? Anyway you aren’t alone IVF and infertility is so stressful. Try and do something nice for yourself this weekend. Have you tried the app Mindful IVF, that helps me. Hope you feel a bit better after the weekend xx

[Alwaysbelieving in reply to BECIO]

Thanks so much for your reply and sorry to hear about your panic attack, they’re awful! I haven’t tried the mindful IVF app so will definitely look into apps. Yeah I spoke to a couple of people at work and I have a meeting on Monday so they can put something in place to support. There has been loads of change with staff so I don’t technically have a line manager at the moment so I think it’s good that they know they need to be doing a bit more as I’ve just been left to my own devices. I’m feeling a bit better today, thanks again for your kind words and taking the time to reply 💛 xx

[XOXO13]

Hey, so sorry you’re feeling like this.

It sounds like you’re feeling quite heavy and weighed down under all of this, and that’s completely to be expected so don’t be too hard on yourself. You need to take care of yourself on this journey and make you your number one priority.

It sounds like you value and love your job so much, which is amazing to hear but you have to think of you and your mental health, and if you need to take a step back then I would suggest that you speak to your line manager and GP to make a plan to allow for that. Perhaps that’s reduced hours, or perhaps it’s a leave of absence.

Have you tried mindfulness activities or yoga either before or after work to help? Here are some things I do when I feel very overwhelmed with all of this:

- Journalling: what’s inside has to come out otherwise it will sit on your chest and you’ll burst, so let it out on paper.

- Continue talking to your husband: give yourself an hour a night to be honest and open together, talk about how it’s making you feel, what your worries are etc. Then decide to talk about something totally different that isn’t this journey?

- Gentle yoga: I’m not very good at this but I practice gentle yoga often, it opens with a 5 minute mindfulness and then for half an hour in lost in the yoga moves! I feel calm afterwards.

- Take a warm bath with your favourite oils and pop on some spa music: this is my escape for an hour, with a warm eye mask and sometimes a good book!

- Evening walk: after work, you and your husband can go for an evening stroll, breathe in the fresh air, it’s good for our souls.

- Colouring and jigsaws: not for everyone but I sometimes do this whilst listening to a podcast and it distracts my mind.

When my chest gets very tight, I sit down, close my eyes and hold onto my chest as I slow my breathing down. Deep breaths in and big exhale out. Keep repeating until you feel a little calmer.

There’s an app I listen to a night, the CALM app, to help me sleep. That’s also a great tool for rest.

Sending you big cuddles and lots of strength. You’ve got this 🍀💜 xx

[Alwaysbelieving in reply to XOXO13]

Thank you for your lovely message, much appreciated and some fab advice that I will definitely take on board. Having a nice bath sounds amazing so will make time to have a relaxing soak and writing down how I feel really helps me so I should probably start doing that more often and jotting things down. We love our walks and bike rides but usually keep them for the weekend and the lighter nights mean we can do that after work now too! Also going to look into the calm app so thanks again for the helpful and supportive message xx