Struggling to stay focused in work

[helent100]

Hi everyone. I’m currently on down regulation medication for my 3rd round of IVF. Unfortunately, my last 2 rounds failed ☹

At the moment I’m really struggling to focus on work. I work from home most of the time and just losing focus in between meetings and end up on Google doing IVF research and listening to fertility related podcasts and vlogs. I’m fine on the weekends because I’m out and about seeing family and doing chores but weekdays are just a nightmare at the moment.

Is anyone in the same position or does anyone have any advice? Part of me wishes I could just take the entire duration of the treatment cycle off work because then I wouldn’t be sat in front of a laptop all day.

[Purple_skies]

If your roster permits you to take vacation leave, that would be good but unfortunately it is usually not the case. I was devastated after my first failed embryo transfer and spent a lot of time reading the msgs here to see if I could improve my chances. Later I realize it was getting unhealthy spending so much time researching I took a break from this support network and do things I enjoy instead. Life is not just about IVF and best if you could try to not let it take over your life. Truth is after my research I went to ask dr for alot of tests but all came up negative. There was no explanation for my failed implantation. It was sad to know there was nothing I could do so I decided to step away from research and enjoy my life. My latest embryo transfer is successful but now I still cannot figure out what I did differently this round except that I spent time doing what I love to do and skipped research.

[helent100 in reply to Purple_skies]

Congratulations, i'm glad it worked out for you!

I have considered taking leave but I feel like it will be a short term fix to a long-term problem. The weird thing is it's not that i'm even searching for particular topics or looking for answers. I wouldn't mind it as much if my research felt productive or worthwhile. It's like i'm just googling stuff for the sake of it to pass the time 🫠

[Purple_skies in reply to helent100]

Sounds more like your perspective of work changed due to IVF. Maybe think about what are your passion in work?

[Hidden]

Hi, I’m in this same situation! I am in down regulation with baseline scan this coming Monday. It’s my first round. I’ve become a bit obsessed with all things IVF - google, podcasts, reading all the posts in this forum..

My work load has been reduced so much as I was off with stress a couple months ago, so I now have less pressure which is good - but means I have more time to keep thinking about IVF constantly.

I’m better on days where I give myself small goals or tasks to complete, so I get some focus. And reward myself with breaks that are not just sitting googling - like this morning I did a quick yoga thing online.

Sorry I can’t offer much advice but wanted to say I’m here and feeling very much the same.

Xx

[helent100 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response. Researching IVF is definitely very addictive. I'm in the same boat as you with workload - my workload has been reduced, which is good in one way but definitely leaves more room for googling and forums!

I think it's a good idea to set small goals. I might start doing that. Part of me feels I just need to force myself to go into the office more often and that will definitely keep me more focused and productive.

Good luck with your upcoming cycle xx

[Hidden in reply to helent100]

Just also wanted to say I think it’s so understandable that you are distracted at work so don’t worry about it too much. You have gone through a lot and more to come. Be kind to your self, and take each day as it is. Sending lots of strength for next few weeks, I really hope this cycle is the one for you xx

[Hidden]

If possible take some time out Find out if there is any support available from your OH They may have a policy that covers having fertility treatment .Take a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org - Fertility in the Workplace

Thinking of you

Janet-Partner

[MD54999]

Hey I'm in a similar situation - doing down regulation for my 4th round with baseline scan on Thursday. I have to take regular breaks from work to motivate myself to get work done. I just try to take it by day and not beat myself up too much over being distracted - I find acupuncture and counselling help me stay focused but except for that it depends on the day - sometimes exercise or seeing friends helps, other days I'm not in the mood. I try not to let myself spend too much time googling fertility related sites but it's hard sometimes!

[leo1980]

I just wanted to say on both my successful IVF cycles, I deliberately filled my schedule. I took on more projects at work and personal ones by the time it was OTD I couldn’t believe 2 weeks had gone by… in fact we were at Twickenham for the 6 nations when the nurse called to give us the results. We then had to leave 10 min before the final whistle to get home to take my prontogest injections! I suppose what I am saying is you have done all the hard work, exercise, vitamins. Accupuncture etc eating healthy now just live. I put a reminder in my phone daily for meds but either than that we just went about our daily lives… we made future plans like normal so holidays, events etc - my due date falls on the say day as an England vs South Africa (autumn nations) match which I have never missed in all the years they have done it we still think we are going. The look on both our faces when the doctor suggested they would induce on that day was priceless…just pop this at the back of your mind and crack on doing the things you both like/enjoy. it’s a more natural way to relax than to do force relaxing which stresses your mind and body anyway. You got this! Best of luck

[helent100 in reply to leo1980]

Thank you for replying and congratulations!

I think that's a really good approach to take. I probably do the opposite right now to be honest. When i'm taking a break for a couple of months in between treatment cycles I completely fill my diary with plans, set fitness goals, work goals etc and then when it comes to going through treatment I put everything on hold just in case I don't feel great and probably end up giving myself too much headspace!

[Keepondreaming]

hey sorry this might not be much help but you are not alone as others say! We have done six rounds and honestly I’ve been at work, been on annual leave and been off sick and I duno what makes a difference. I personally find googling and reading on here you fall down a black hole and I really try not to do it when we are doing treatment. I do need distracting though, I have a really busy job that can be stressful but I think I’m probably better at work so I have something to focus on. But like youy concentration wanders. See if your work place has a fertility policy as apparently employers are introducing these now. Always happy to chat wishing you lots of luck and relaxing vibes!!

[helent100]

Hey thanks for your response and good wishes. I'm sorry you've had to go through so many rounds. Are you planning any more treatment?

I'm desperate not to 'waste' my annual leave but have unofficially used some sick days. My manager is brilliant at being flexible and giving me time off for appointments. In some ways I wish I was really busy at work so I wouldn't have the time to research but then on the other hand I appreciate the fact i'm not under loads of pressure or stressed. I think the thing that will help me the most is actually going into the office but I don't really want to haha

Unfortunately my workplace doesn't have a fertility policy. I have thought about advocating for one.