Does it make a difference? - Fertility Network UK

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Does it make a difference?

KLADY123 profile image
23 Replies

Hello ladies.

I have been lurking around here for a while but never written my own post so here goes!

Looking for some opinions/experiences on when to start IVF.

I am 34 years old, female factor infertility, adhesions due to childhood surgery, Left tube removed Oct 20 due to hydro, right tube patent but might be positioned incorrectly due to the adhesions. AMC 11.4 (July 20) AFC 20- 10 each side (Jan 21). All other hormones good range with a regular monthly periods.

I had my NHS funding approved in Jan and was able to start IVF in Feb. My clinic are very flexible on start dates (but does need to be within 6 months of the funding offer) so we decided to postpone until April for supplements and healthy diet.... I have been following the supplement advice in 'it starts with the egg'- no DHEA as I didnt get tested. However... I have been really trying with the diet but every now and again I have eaten something I prob shouldn't have e.g. takeaway, chocolate etc. Had some coffees and a few glasses of wine here and there. I have been stressed over the past few weeks due to work (stressful job).... I really wanted to do my best and I have been putting quite a bit of pressure on myself when I have slipped up and felt so bad.

Now we are considering if we postpone one more month to clean up the diet (be very strict I guess) and try to calm down the work stress. This means the IVF would start in May.

I really did have it in my head about April and I guess after waiting so long I do want to get on with it but at the same time I would be prepared to wait if the healthy diet etc does make a difference.

What do you think? Is this a major factor? Is it worth pushing out for one more month? What's your experiences with being very strict vs relaxing a bit and outcomes on the cycle?

Aware this has prob been asked before but its really stressing me out. Of course OH is very relaxed 'whenever you think my love, happy to wait if you think it will help you mentally but also happy to go ahead now'....

Thanks for reading and comments appreciated in advance!

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23 Replies
Jonesy84 profile image
Jonesy84

Hi lovely, I believed if I didn’t have an odd treat I would have lost my mind 😂 I made sure I was taking vitamins I used pregnacare conception and my husband took them too. The issue for me was due to endometriosis so my AMH was 6.8I’ll admit I was rubbish at eating fruit and veg so I did introduce that more into my diet. I also had flax seed and pumpkin seeds on my cornflakes and to be honest that’s it.

Sorry to hear work has been stressful. I was exactly the same. It come to a point where I felt I was cracking up so I had a good chat with my manager and to be honest I can’t fault them and it did make me feel better. Is your manager someone you can talk to? Xx

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Jonesy84

Thank you for your reply!

Hmmmmm its tough one, he is Male and his manager is a male and his manager is a male so it does make me feel bit more conscious! He is absolutely lovely and his wife is pregant so I am sure he would be willing to listen. I have considered having the discussion and maybe even sending him over some materials regarding fertilty and the workplace so I might just take the plunge.... it probably would help if I am honest.

Was your cycle successful? Did you try anything accupunture or anything else?

X

Jonesy84 profile image
Jonesy84 in reply to KLADY123

No problem! My managers are all males and they were fab. Tbh I have had better conversations with my male managers than female one in the past. It was only recently I told him the issue was due to my endometriosis and he knew about the condition.

I think if work is the way it is and you have a lovely manager I really think a chat about your stresses will help and hopefully from that convo some actions can be put in place. This would probably be a good time to give him the heads up about you starting the treatment, it’s entirely up to you though and what you feel comfortable with.

My first cycle failed but my second was a frozen and I am currently 9 weeks 5 days.

No I didn’t try acupuncture but I have seen a few ladies on here mention so hopefully someone will be able to advise you on that.

If you decide to start your treatment I April good luck I have everything crossed for you xxx

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Jonesy84

Congratulations on your successful frozen transfer! All the very best and thank you for your comments and advice. X

I've been wondering this too, but I find there's always something :( There's never a good time - I planned my transfer last week about 2 months ago without foreseeing any issues, but since then, 2 staff have left, I'm running the office solo and things are crazy busy right now :( :( xx xx 😘

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Icsi_Wincy_Spider

Your absolutely right- is there ever a right time....

Did you go ahead with the transfer? How are you feeling now?

Icsi_Wincy_Spider profile image
Icsi_Wincy_Spider in reply to KLADY123

Yeah, had it 5 days ago. No idea whether it worked or not, trying not to overthink it. Works crazy busy, and my OCD checking (freezer doors, taps etc) has got a little worse but I think that's a control thing because everything else is beyond my control :(

I think u should go ahead asap - the sooner the better babe 😘👶🤰 xx

Zebedee1971 profile image
Zebedee1971

Ok, so, based on my personal experiences:1. Diet doesn't make an iota bit of difference. I was super healthy for a good couple of years with no luck. Then I got pregnant naturally in September and, honestly, my diet was atrocious leading up to it, and even during. I never used to have takeaways or fizzy drinks, but in the months preceding the pregnancy I was drinking coca cola at home and ordering takeout twice a week. We'd had a failed ivf round and I was on the verge of giving up and just couldn't be bothered to eat Spinach anymore. And, as a side note, there are people out there who live on frozen nuggets, McDonald's, and smoke like a chimney... And they have 6 kids. Sooo....

2. Stress isn't helpful but it is unlikely to be the sole cause of a miscarriage or implantation failure. I was a teacher for 14 years and when I miscarried the first pregnancy, I blamed stress... Then, with the second pregnancy, we were buying a house, so again I blamed stress....

It later turned out I had aggressive nk cells, which meant my body attacked the embryo at implantation stage. So, even if I'd been completely relaxed, I still would have miscarried.

A few things I've learnt:

1. Work really isn't worth getting stressed over. So whatever it is that's stressing you, take a step back and evaluate why, and try to do anything you can to reduce it. I left my full time job in 2019 and did supply- by getting rid of the stress and long nights/weekends, it allowed me to analyse why the pregnancies were failing. If I'd carried on working, I'd always have blamed the miscarriages on stress... And never would have gotten my immunology looked into... And never would have gotten pregnant.

2. You need to start ivf when you feel ready... But also bear in mind, ivf rarely works the first time (though that's not to say it won't for you). Like many, we were convinced the first try would be successful. All our initial tests came back fine, my amh is good at 16.5 and my partner has really good sperm (something he was super proud of!!) But our first cycle was a disaster, the second cycle resulted in a chemical, and the third, we only got two embryos which both tested abnormal.... Ivf can take over your life for a good year or longer. I started trying when I was 36, I'll be 39 when the baby is born and 6 months away from turning 40. Time flies. 34 seems young now but the older you get the more the start to worry, and then you have a whole load of extra stress you don't need. Having said that, one month won't make a tiny bit of difference. If it makes you feel better waiting an extra month that's fine, but my advice would not to worry too much about diet (be good yes, but don't overhaul your diet completely- a bit of chocolate or a takeaway is fine every now and then). Instead, make sure you are happy and relaxed, take a step back from work, and try not to think about your job as much- you won't care as much when you have a little person in your arms to think about. Look after yourself x

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Zebedee1971

Ahhh Zebedee1971, thank you so much for this. I can really tell your speaking from experience and you really have offered up some good food for thought. Your final comments brought a tear to my eye (I'm clearly very emotional right now!)

Sounds like you have really been through it and I am really happy for you that you got your positive outcome in the end. X

P.s regarding diet - I've never really worried too much about it in past transfers (which all failed, possibly due to the NK killer cells which I'm now on intra-lipids for) but this time my acupuncturist recommended no dairy, lots of reproductive foods like eggs, nuts etc and also low carb (because "carbs get converted to sugars which releases insulin and insulin in blood is bad for embryo"). Giving it a shot but honestly, who knows 🤷‍♀️

I agree with some of the other posts, whilst its great that you have tried to clean up your diet I am not convinced it really makes any different to the results of IVF (Unless its a REALLY bad diet or you are really overweight/drink a lot or smoke a lot). I think all of the supplements etc are also a good idea but I am not sure a month will make any difference

I have a super stressful job and have never found that made any difference to my IVF results either - its just impacted how I have coped with things eg. the more stressed I have been I have been less level headed about the whole thing but its only really been a mental impact.

I am getting to the end of my IVF journey and my one wish is we had started sooner, its amazing how something like Covid putting a 7 month delay on my treatment led to a huge deterioration in egg quality. Now don't panic as you are a lot younger than me so unlikely to apply for you but I think the benefit of one more months diet/supplement isnt really worth waiting for and I would crack on asap if I was you

Masses of luck x

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to

Thank you for your comments Daisy1245. Been taking the supplements since January so by the time I am due to start it would have been 4 months (I think they should have had quite a bit of time to have an affect by then).

Good to hear your thoughts regarding diet, I think it's so easy to become obsessive and try to control everything, probably part of trying to control what is happening when really we have very little!

With work I just wish I could take a couple of months out to chill but that's just impossible, I think I have to just manage how I respond to the stress and really consider what's important.... sending that final email or logging off and enjoying the evening with a good book or TV programme. X

Marisa32 profile image
Marisa32

Healthy diet is always a great idea but I also don't think it makes much difference in terms of IVF. The main indicators of success seem to be age and AMH. Assuming there are no other serious issues. Since you don't know ahead of time how successful you will be on your first round, I would get things going asap. Especially since time seems to be a precious commodity when it comes to IVF. Plus from your post it doesn't even look like you are eating unhealthy. There is no time like the present! I would say go for it.

hifer profile image
hifer

Lots of great responses here but my bottom line is that I would start sooner rather than later. I don’t think a month will make much difference (if any) and not convinced diet has tooo much impact anyway (unless really bad in the first place). Good luck xx

miracleneeded profile image
miracleneeded

Hey! I agree with everyone else. There’s going to be so many things come up that delay your cycle/transfer so the sooner you start the better! Quite often people will say that your first round is a tester to see how you respond to the meds etc (which will hopefully be amazingly!).

Good luck! And don’t beat yourself up about the odd chocolate or glass of wine - IVF takes over your life, you need those little pleasures!

Daffodils140 profile image
Daffodils140

Hi,

Personally I would make a start with the ivf and try to eat reasonably healthily but please don’t feel bad if you have the odd pizza or chocolate bar, you need a few things to get you through.

Also, with work stress, my Nan always said “if I dropped down dead they’d have me replaced within a week!” Now I know that’s extreme!!!!! (she didn’t mince her words my Nan) and it depends on the job you do, if it’s directly impacting/caring for others etc. but I always try to put work in perspective and remember that I have to look after my inner-self and focus on my personal goals, that’s not being selfish, you are entitled to do that. It’s easier said than done I know that. Maybe try some meditation or acupuncture or just go for long walks where you can immerse in nature and try not to think about work.

Best of luck whatever you decide xxxx

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Daffodils140

Thank you Daffodils140, I am defo going to get some meditation in everyday and I think I will call the acupuncturist and book something in... I think whatever can help is beneficial.

Your nan was absolutely right! Work is work just a small part of my overall life I really need to keep it in perspective..... and like a lady above commented 'none of that will even matter once you have a little bubba in your arms' x

Hope4another profile image
Hope4another

I was really careful with my first cycle and had a missed miscarriage and two failed FETs. 2nd cycle I was much more relaxed and had a BFP. I did try not to eat sugar and avoid snacking as clinic recommended this. I honestly think it doesn't make much odds, it just makes you feel more in control, which is an illusion. Work wise, my boss knew, but it was still a busy time and I worried I'd worked too hard! Really, I would go ahead, and definitely don't deny yourself the odd treat. Good luck!

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Hope4another

Thank you, I am really sorry to hear about your MMC and failed transfers but happy to hear you got your BFP in the end

All the best x

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123

Thank you to all of the lovley ladies who have taken the time to respond and offer advice and opinions. It really has helped me to get my thoughts together.

I was so nervous about writing my first post but so happy I took the plunge!

After reading all of the above and speaking to OH we have decided t go ahead for April (sooner rather then later right!). Called the clinic this morning to book in for my pre IVF scan which is Monday and then they will order all my meds. The cycle will start this time next month. I know it's a long journey but just making the decision has lifted a weight of my shoulders.

Thanks again for your wise words and encouragement

X

Daffodils140 profile image
Daffodils140

We are trying again in April as well (a frozen cycle) so let’s keep each other updated xxx

KLADY123 profile image
KLADY123 in reply to Daffodils140

Absolutely! X

LadyM2019 profile image
LadyM2019

Good Luck KLADY!

I am having IVF due to being in a same sex relationship. You name the supplement or therapy, I've tried it ;-)

For both rounds of IVF ( age 33/34, AMH 15) I followed the low carb and high protein diet from it starts with the egg (so that includes no alcohol for 3 months), fortnightly or weekly fertility acupuncture, reiki, I bought eye wateringly expensive ubiquinol (pharma nord 400 mg per day) and I ate nothing out of a plsstic container!

Oh I was a fun person to be around for those months!😂

I have had one chemical pregnancy from my first frozen transfer and I'm onto my second frozen transfer soon.

It was explained to me that each cohort of eggs the body recruits for IVF will be different. So results will be different.

The penny really dropped for me when I accepted the success rates. Around three in ten ladies will have a live birth per embryo transfer. I'm part of a same sex IVF group where its not uncommon for it to take several transfers. I'd not delay things too long and if your clinic offers counselling it can be really helpful to book in during treatment xx

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