Struggling to make decison to go for IVF - Fertility Network UK

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Struggling to make decison to go for IVF


Hi all - first time posting here. I'm 37 and we've been trying to conceive for nearly 2 years with no success. We've both had tests, first one for hubby found slow motility but second one came back with no issues. All tests have come back fine for me. We're not eligible for NHS funding so will have to fund IVF ourselves. I've been saving for a few years to for my maternity leave so the only option is to use this to fund IVF treatment but I'm finding it really hard to make decision to do this, as once we've had one round, given the low chance of success I feel that we will end up with it not working and then no money to try for a second time (really need to start to think positively!). I know due to my age I need to just make the decision to start and quickly but keep thinking that maybe this month it will happy naturally and when it doesn't just feel absolutely rubbish and sad.

20 Replies

Why do you have a low chance of success?

This is a decision only you can make but yes there is a chance you can pay a heck of a lot of money and it won’t work...... BUT there is also a chance that you could do this one cycle and end up with a beautiful baby in your arms. 🤱

It is a hell of a risk and an emotional commitment but it sounds like your already emotionally invested so what have you got to loose 🤷‍♀️ (apart from several thousand pounds! 😂)

Perhaps a consultation? 😘

Best of luck whatever you decide 🤞

Bluemxg in reply to Newqgirl1

I know you're completly right, it could work first time round, one of my friends recently had IVF and it has worked first time. I think I naturally think the worst case outcome to help prepare myself for it - but not really the positive thinking that I need! I do need to just email the clinc & booking myself I think...once I've started the process there is no going back then!

Newqgirl1 in reply to Bluemxg

It’s only natural it’s a big process and so many unknowns but I’d rather regret having tried than not knowing 🤷‍♀️ best of luck with what ever happens 🤞🤞🤞❤️

You could look at ivf refund packages? Xx

Bluemxg in reply to Orla9298

Yes I've read a bit about them, but don't quite get how they work - do you pay up front for more than one cycle then if it works you get some money back?

Orla9298 in reply to Bluemxg

There are a few different ways that it can be done - have a look at Access Fertility - they offer the packages via clinics all over the country. Where are you based? I also found a budget ivf clinic in London when I was looking online the other day xx

Bluemxg in reply to Orla9298

Fab thank you, I'll look at that - I'm in North West, so we had our initial tests at Liverpool Women's - they've got a private arm to their clinc so thought we could try there for private treatment. x

Orla9298 in reply to Bluemxg

I’m in Liverpool too 😊 I did 2 nhs rounds at Hewitt centre but chose to move for private. Xx

Bluemxg in reply to Orla9298

Ha! Small world :-) Hope you don't mind me asking - what clinic have you gone to for private treatment? We're you happy with how Hewitt centre looked for you for your first rounds? Good luck with your future treatment xx

Orla9298 in reply to Bluemxg

I was very unhappy with Hewitt centre... but I have low amh which they really aren’t good at dealing with. For people with no major issues it’s probably fine there. They are just such a busy clinic and the private treatment seems no better than nhs treatment. I’ll message you as we aren’t meant to discuss clinics publicly on here xx

Bluemxg in reply to Orla9298

Ah ok thank you!

Don't forget you can still try naturally after a round of ivf, it's not one or the other 🙂Good luck with whatever you do decide! xx

Tugsgirl in reply to Kcrochet

This is a really good point 👍🏻

I think you (Bluemxg) should book a consultation at your chosen clinic and go from there. Good luck xx


Hi, I had a similar dilemma, we started to try for a second child when my daughter was 1, I saved each month to ensure I could have a year off work as maternity leave. Following investigations we found my partner had a low sperm count (1-2million per ml) and we would be very unlikely to conceive naturally. We looked at the prices at nearby clinics and it worked out so expensive with all the extra’s abd paying for frozen transfers after a fresh etc and ended up coming to a compromise with access fertility. We chose a 50% refund policy which gives you 3 full cycles including fresh and frozen transfers and all the expensive add ons with a guarantee of half our money back if we didn’t get a baby. We have had to use some savings and borrow money to do this but I liked the reassurance that it wasn’t all riding on one try. I didn’t want to look back and think what if and have any regrets. Good luck in making your decision xx

It is a difficult decision, but there is always a chance it will work.We went in with very low expectations and were told it would be unlikely we would have anything to freeze,we took each stage as it came and not only got 1 embryo to transfer back in but also 1 to freeze, you really just don't know how it will turn out. Good luck with your decision xox

It’s to easy to get stuck thinking about all the ‘what ifs’. Be kind to yourself and ask one question; will you regret it if you don’t try? Obviously you need to decide what’s best for you, but if the answer is ‘yes’ then my thought is you can always make more money xx

Making a decision to go for it will probably make you feel better. For me it meant we were finally taking some action.

It is a really difficult decision and I’m not surprised that it’s a struggle.

I think we all feel the same as it’s such an investment in time and money and it takes over your life quite a bit.

I suppose you need to consider if you will regret the decision in ten years if you don’t take action.

Maybe an initial consultation will help, you could even give IUI a shot as it’s much cheaper.

Good luck xx

Thanks all for your replies - it helps! I know that I'll regret it if we don't try so just need to get on with it. Made first few steps today and contacted two possible clinics to arrange to go in for an initial consultation..

brendalv in reply to Bluemxg

Hi Bluemxg!

Hope one of these clinics will help you! Or you may try a few more

You wrote about "no money to try for a second time". Haven't you thought about IVF in some another country where it will be much cheaper?

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