Missed miscarriage

[FandF2020]

I don’t know if this is the right place to be writing about this but I’m so heartbroken. We had our 12 week scan yesterday I was meant to be 12+3 but they told us our baby died at 9 weeks. I just can’t believe that this is happening to us. After our tfmr last year I didn’t think I could feel any worse but I was wrong. I am in so much emotional pain from this. I can’t understand why this has happened to us, we are good people but apparently don’t deserve to ever be parents.

What makes it worse is my sister in law is pregnant and due in the next month.y husband doesn’t want to be a part of her life or her baby’s life and I don’t blame him I don’t either but I know everyone will blame it on me.

I have to wait until Monday before I can go to the hospital to discuss the options. I feel like there isn’t an option that I want to choose. I want our baby to still be growing inside me.

Sorry for the long post.

[treezuk]

So sorry for your loss I understand how difficult it is right now but only thing I can say is you will find the strength again to try one day in the future right now it’s to raw to think about and you need to take time out to grieve.

In regards to your sil do you not get on or is this a choice that’s been made as you can’t bare to be around the baby ?

Hugs

[FandF2020 in reply to treezuk]

Thank you.

I used to get along with her, until she came round our house in feb telling us she was pregnant, that it wasn’t expected, it was a shock. Then asking me if I had morning sickness in my first pregnancy. Knowing everything we went through, they just didn’t care about how we would feel being told this. And then since then everything has always been about her and her pregnancy when it comes to the in laws. None of them have any sensitivity when it comes to us as long as the sil is happy that’s all they care about.

[treezuk in reply to FandF2020]

Ah I understand I had the same with my in laws suffering a miscarriage and they knew about it her daughter my sil was pregnant and another daughter had just had a baby and I was made to sleep on the floor while her daughter has the sofa - so I completely understand why you’d be upset

[Kitty230515]

I’m so sorry for your loss, there’s nothing anyone can say that will make this better.

I can complete relate to how you’re feeling. I’ve had two missed miscarriages in the last 12 months.

It does and will get easier and you will find the strength from somewhere.

What helps me, was planning things with hubby and making some memories. I know it’s difficult.

Just take one day at a time, and don’t be hard on yourself if some days are harder then another.

Cxx

[FandF2020 in reply to Kitty230515]

Thank you. I know that right now I’m in a dark place and I’m sure will come out of it eventually. Xx

[Kitty230515 in reply to FandF2020]

And that’s ok. :-)! Allow yourself as much time as you need. There’s no time limit. Just take one step at a time. Xxx

[hifer]

I’m so so sorry for your loss!!! It’s so so tough when you get that news at a scan. It is heartbreaking and I totally know what you’re going through as I’ve been through it twice, albeit not at 12 +3. The only thing I can say is that time will, eventually, see you right. Take time to grieve and don’t put any pressure on yourself. Sending lots of hugs xx

[FandF2020 in reply to hifer]

Thank you for your comment, means a lot. Xx

[TexasRose210]

Sorry for your loss, praying for you

[FandF2020 in reply to TexasRose210]

Thank you!

[Hidden]

My 2nd mc was found at 12+3w scan and stopped growing at 9w out of the 3 mmc I’ve had I found that one the hardest to deal with we got so far (my other 2 were blighted at 12w)

Sorry you’re going through this it’s far more emotionally painful than physically I hope you have good support to help you through it x 😢

[ashalez]

So sorry to hear this news I don't have word but look after yourself xxxxx

[Luna_79]

Oh I’m so sorry to read this and can only imagine what an awful shock and how devastating this must be for you. Take time for you to grieve and process, life is just too cruel sometimes xxxx

[Cinderella5]

Devastated to see your update! Life is unbelievably cruel. Sending lots of love.xxx

[FrancyItaly]

I’m so sorry, I had a missed miscarriage too. If you want to talk you can message me 💕

[CLDxxx]

I’m so sorry 😢

You and your husband need to do what’s right for you and if that means not seeing certain people so be it. Think of yourselves, you’ve been through so much & only you know how that feels.

Sending love to you 💕xxx

[FandF2020]

Thank you everyone for you lovely comments. I visited my local epu today is discuss the options. I requested surgical management and they refused. Apparently the hospital policy is I have to have conservative management. So basically I have to wait for two weeks to see if my body naturally passes the baby. If not then I have to be re scanned and then have medical management but I’ll have to be in hospital for it. I feel not only let down by my body, but by the nhs. I don’t understand how they think that dragging this out for what could be a month will be of any benefit to me, my self esteem is at an all time low and my mental health has never been worse.

I’m also finding it difficult that no one seems to care about my husband. He has lost two children too. We have some close friends who have unfortunately become members of this club too over the last couple of years and they’ve been wonderful, but other friends and family members just don’t seem to care about him.

Anyway I thought I’d give you all an update. I just hope that it all happens soon, this limbo is so hard.

[Nadoush in reply to FandF2020]

Ohhh so sorry for your loss,praying for you

[hifer in reply to FandF2020]

I’m so sorry again. Could you try a different hospital? This seems to be a very strange policy. I had medical management for a miscarriage right in the middle of lockdown so I would think a different hospital might have a different policy?! Xx

[Mara84]

Heartbroken for you, so sorry, unfortunately I experienced missed miscarriages twice... hope you feel better soon, give yourself time to grieve...

Love xx