Bleeding at 5 weeks after ICSI FET: miscarriage?!?!

[Dylan88]

Hi,

I've been bleeding for 3 days now and I'm terrified I'm having a miscarriage. Started off light brown and then dark brown then red now back to brown, with some small dark clots and coffee grounds texture at times, and other times watery. It's relatively light and if I lie down it eases ( I know gravity won't make something that is dead magically come back to life but I find the blood really distressing so I'm just avoiding the inevitable). When I've looked up similar situations , it seems there are 3 reasons why this might be happening 1) miscarriage 2) cervical irritation from sex or 3) cervical irritation from pessaries.

I'm using pessaries rectally and have not had sex since start of my cycle based on advice from clinic. I feel this really only leaves me with miscarriage. I'm also really scared I caused the miscarriage with stress. When I first took pregnancy tests on OTD and after, they came back as super weak positives. I told the nurse I'm always super hydrated and can't hold my pee for more than a few hours even overnight. She said it should still be a clear positive by now and could be a sign of a miscarriage. I immediately started freaking out, and stopped sleeping from the anxiety and stress. We've been infertile for more than 2.5 years, this was our first cycle and this baby is wanted more than anything. We then went for HCG bloods which came back positive at 250ish. However no sooner than I got this good news, I started bleeding an hour later. I'm so scared that I caused this miscarriage with a massive cortisol surge from my initial freak out.

I guess I'm asking if anyone else has had similar experiences. Was it miscarriage? Did anyone have similar bleeding (crucially while on progesterone which holds it back I am told!) and go on to have a healthy pregnancy ? Did I kill my fetus with stress?

I am so devastated and not sure if I can go through this process again. It has been so horrible, I have so much admiration for women who go through multiple rounds , but I don't feel strong enough. I feel like my heart is breaking 💔

[Twiglet2]

Hi Dylan, so sorry to hear you are going through such a worrying time. The first thing I would say is if it is a miscarriage the it won’t be because of anything you have done or haven’t done, miscarriages are mostly caused by the embryo being abnormal so please don’t beat yourself up over that . The second thing I would say is whilst it could be a miscarriage it also might not be as bleeding in early pregnancy is very common. I’m not sure how far along you are but could you contact your clinic again to repeat your bloods and see if HCG is doubling?That’s really the only way to tell other than waiting for pregnancy tests. Thinking of you and hoping it all turns out okay xx

[TexasRose210]

Sorry that this is happening, don't blame yourself. I'm pretty sure you have 110% into this. Try to relax. Is your clinic going to do another HCG?

[Dylan88]

Hi Twiglet and Texasrose. Thanks so much for your replies and kind words. I have second HCG test booked for tomorrow, result will come Tuesday so I'm hoping against hope that it's just "normal" bleeding, but I feel very pessimistic about it. I'm 5 weeks along so very early days but I think it's too late for this to be implantation bleeding as embryo transfer was on the 13th June. Although I am on progestrone injections as well as suppositories so nurse said it blocks bleeding. Is bleeding normal even when on so much progesterone ? Has anyone bled while on progesterone but still had a healthy pregnancy? At least Tuesday I will have an answer.

[Twiglet2 in reply to Dylan88]

I’m glad you’ve got that booked in. Hoping it good news on Tuesday for you 🤞🏽Xx

[Birdboy1]

Oh you poor thing this must be so stressful. Like the others have said if it is a miscarriage you and fingers crossed it isn’t, then it is 100% not your fault and please don’t blame yourself at all. Good luck for Tuesday and I hope you get the good news you want xx

[ABR19]

Hi Dylan, I had the same thing at 5.5 weeks and was sure I had miscarried but it turned out to be a hematoma. The doctor gave me a 50/50 chance of miscarriage but our little guy hung on. Sending so many positive vibes to you and I really hope yours does too. Can you go and have a scan to check?

[kc21]

Hi when I was pregnant with my twins I bled all the way through ... as long as brown blood it’s ok ! If you are anxious call your clinic though ... x

[Corchi]

You did not kill your fetus with stress. Miscarriages never happen from stress. Please take that out of your mind. With 6 in my past and an expert of the dreaded miscarriage I’m here to tell you you did nothing wrong. Nature will always win and it’s it’s way of protecting us so if that’s what happening as unbearable as the pain is it’s for the best. Here if you need to talk ♥️♥️

P.s I had huge clots and fresh blood at 8 weeks and am now 17 weeks. You never know!

[Keepingfaith85]

I'm so sorry you are going through this, seeing blood after getting your long awaited BFP is absolutely horrible. I had the same thing happen when I was 5 weeks. If you click my username you'll be able to read my posts about it and also how even after a week of bleeding on and off everything turned out okay. So there is definitely still hope. I never found out what caused the bleeding but it continued even when I switched to taking progesterone rectally. I was given extra progesterone by my clinic so if you haven't already done so it's definitely worth calling them and getting advice. My clinic were really helpful and I don't think I would have called if ladies here hadn't mentioned it.

The other thing to do is rest as much as you can so lying down is a good idea 😊 I would have bleeds, then nothing, then spotting, then clots and cramps and I felt like I was losing my mind with it all. Just hold on in there and I really hope things turn around for you. I've seen loads of posts about early bleeding on here and many times it turns out okay. It's hard to have that hope I know, I wanted to stop meds and give up but I'm now 22 weeks pregnant so thank goodness I didn't!

If you ever need to chat feel free to pm me xx

[Ivfgotadream]

Unfortunately it didn’t end well for me when I last had this but I’ve known lots of people for whom it didn’t mean a miscarriage

What day was your OTD? If it was 9dp5dt then 250 is a great number!

Good luck for tomorrow’s results

[Dylan88]

Thanks all of you for taking time to reply and offer words of comfort. I find out tomorrow morning but the wait has been horrible, especially as the bleeding just won't stop so it is a constant reminder ! Really comforting to read that some of you had this and it turned out okay. I'm also so sorry for those who had this and it turned out badly.

Thank you for telling me that this isn't my fault. I needed to hear that .

I've felt really alone throughout my IVF journey as other than me and my partner I don't know anyone going through this. I came to this forum at my lowest point so far in this journey and it's been an immense comfort to hear from people going through the same struggles. Thank you all!

[Dylan88]

It was a miscarriage, confirmed this morning. Completely heartbroken of course but before the result I felt like I was gonna pass out from the anxiety . I guess sad is more dealable with than anxious. Right now going through this again seems impossible. What a horrible rollercoaster. Does it get easier ?

[Cinderella5 in reply to Dylan88]

Im so sorry to see your update Dylan and for your loss. We had the same at 6 weeks and it is of course very sad and difficult but yes it does get a bit easier in time. Be kind to yourselves, lots of nice things, lots of crying, hugging and talking. Look after yourselves, hugs.xx

[Keepingfaith85 in reply to Dylan88]

I'm so sorry for your loss xxx

[Hidden in reply to Dylan88]

So sorry Dylan i wish you have had different news. I hope you hve your partner or anyone to support you. I know the numbness but i promise you, you will overcome this x

[Picalilli99 in reply to Dylan88]

So sorry to hear your news. So sad. Take care of each other and try to make sure you give yourself time and space to heal from your loss. Sending big hugs xxxx

[Twiglet2 in reply to Dylan88]

So sorry to hear this 😢 you are right knowing for sure does help with the anxiety. I felt the exact same. Doesn’t help with the loss though so be really kind to yourself and if you need someone outside to talk to I’m here xx